Wal-Mart's One and Only Republic of China

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中华沃尔马共和国
Zhōnghuá Warema Gònghéguó
Flag of China Coat of Arms of China
(Flag) (Coat of Arms)
Motto: "Always Low Prices"
National Anthem: "Money makes the world go around!"
Mapchina.jpg
Official language Business
Capital Foreign
Government U bet!
Major Issue Target!
CEO Mao Zedong III
National Heroes Mao Zedong, Jackie Chan, Sun Tzu, Hudson Leick and an anonymous Shaolin priest, presented in all Chinese movies, flying
Established When dinosaurs ruled the Earth.
Currency YuWang
Religion Persecution

Open at the following times:

  • Weekdays 08:00 - 23:00
  • Saturdays 09:00 - 23:00
  • Sundays 09:00 - 18:00
  • Chinese New Year Closed Open - you Pay + 10 %




Departments[edit]

Penetration Store[edit]

A store where any loser or ANYTHING can go and get penetrated by ANYONE! No matter how ugly you are, people will love to do it. However, you may get chlamydia.

Dairy products[edit]

Clean up on isle 666. The village capitalist got loose again.

Perfume[edit]

Wonton Noodle for the lady or Ching-Chang-China-Man for the gentleman. Remember, happy ending is a good ending.

Tools[edit]

Ever wonder why everything you assemble that's made in China comes with an allen wrench? That's because the Chinese love allen wrenches! The nice hexagonal shape inspires efficiency. And strange sex with very little boys. That is why Michael Jackson was a Communist. He frequently raped little boys making him a dictator of the world. Sadly, his flamingly homosexual doctor gave him enough sleeping aids to put down a large elephant, thus killing him.

Toys[edit]

And coming soon...Fuzzy bear pets for all American childern!

Wal-Mart China toys makes the cheap look expensive. Like Fang xi Lin

Not in the sense that the cheap things they make has an extraordinary luster, but that ordinary cheap things made elsewhere look like treasures compared to the stuff this country produces. They Gaurente a delicious lead coating.

Underwares[edit]

You may think that those fancy, capitalist Silk thongs are overindulgent, and so does China! In fact, they created a cheaper version for all Wal-Mart stores that was made out of plastic!

Garden[edit]

Garden!!! they don't have enough room in the 2x2 parking lot...and that's a big one for china. And seeing how they eat babies...well I don't know.

Complaints[edit]

All complainers are lambasted by Rush Limbaugh, as it is obvious they have been to a seminar in the disruption of the neo-conservative utopian vision of a return to pre-1865 wages.

Customer service[edit]

Customer service?? Engineer say take back to store.

Wholesale[edit]

Wholesale? Have you been hoarding goods from your brothers in a warehouse?!?

OFF WITH HIS PENIS!

Politics[edit]

The Wal-Mart's Republic of China, is the first country in the world which has legally been recognized as a corporation. Previously known as The People's Republic of China, the country was run by the people. Specific people, in fact. These specific people were actually one person Hu Jintao, but his views represented the views of the people. Well, at least the people who haven't been shot. He still remains, but now as CEO instead of Chairman of the Party.

The PLA

Recognition[edit]

Though seemingly easy to do, many countries have failed to recognise Wal MArt China. This may be due to a politically correct atmosphere that has led people to look past things such as slanted eyes, but the act of recognition is in fact quite easy. Try it.


Manufacturing and Export Markets[edit]

China discovered a market in the year 2001 for 8 billion pairs of socks, with sock production predicted to peak at 90 billion pairs by the year 2030. Entire towns in Wal MArt China have been turned into sock factories to cope with demand. Over 700,000 'donated' political prisoner body organs are sold per month on C-bay. China has been accused of slavery, paying child workers only 3 cents per hour, but Wal Mart Inc. have played down the allegations.

See Also[edit]

Countries and territories of Asia
Euroasia Armenia - Azerbaijan - Cyprus - Georgia - Japan-France - Russia - Turkey (the country, not the bird) - Lebanon
East Asia People's Republic of China - Hong Kong - Japan - Kansai Republic - Korea (north) (south) (pick 'em) - Macau - Mongolia - Taiwan (Republic of Taiwan) - Tibet
Western Asia Arabia - Bahrain - Iran - Iraq - Israel - Jordan - Kuwait - Oman - Palestine - Qatar - Saudi Arabia - Syria - United Arab Emirates - Wherethefuckistan - Yemen
Central Asia Kazakhstan - Kyrgyzstan - Tajikistan - Turkmenistan - Uzbekistan - other-stan
South Asia Afghanistan - Bangladesh - Bhutan - India - Maldives - Nepal - Pakistan - Sri Lanka
Southeast Asia Cambodia - East Timor - Indonesia - Laos - Burma - Malaysia - Philippines - Singapore - Thailand - West Timor - Vietnam
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Consequently, this article lacks much or any redeeming intellectual value. However, even though no one smarter than a doorknob has contributed significantly to this article, it still contains more truth than you may be able to handle.


Spork.jpg This page was originally sporked from Uncyclopedia's People's Republic of China article.