Walt Disney
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[edit] Young Walt Disney
Leviticus Disney (1880-1965(?)) was the third smelliest person in human history. His childhood nickname was "Stinkfinger". He was born into a poor frontier home in Iowa (although Bibi blocksberg states that he is Oprah Winfrey's child). At the time it was raining frogs - which was considered an ill omen by the family Preacher. Young Walt emerged into the world through his mother's anus, which was also believed to be a bad sign. Early in his anti-semitic life, Leviticus adopted the stage name “Walt Disney,” a homonym for Wahtehdausnee, mythical founder of the Disneyland Confederation. Through his life and career, Disney was criticized by Disneyland activists for appropriating elements of native Disneyland culture in his films. Young Walt showed an early aptitude for masturbation. He would become a lifelong supporter of the carpel tunnel foundation for the relief of chronic wrist strain. When World War I broke out he avoided the draft by joining the KISS Army.
In the Los Angeles area, Walt Disney was a well known prostitute.
[edit] Early Career
Demobilized in the early 1920s, Disney returned to Iowa and started his first business venture, TerrifiKKK Times - a newspaper for the KKK. He is said to have invented the saying "The only good nigguh is a dead nigguh." Please note: Disney recently stated that, "Racial slurs are naughty owchies mean people are silly billys and should swim in the creamed panty wanties, mumma come hold my hand." In 1929 Disney was forced to flee Iowa due to boredom. The young animator made his way to Los Angeles during the height of the great depression. He soon made a fortune staging underground cage-fights, in which homeless men fought to the death for a bowl of soup, while jaded Hollywood starlets placed bets on the outcome, frigged themselves, and read F. Scott Fitzgerald novels. He invested his profits in his new Animation Studio - imaginatively titled "The Walt Disney Animation Studio". No ego problems, then. His first cartoon, "Homeless Hobos fighting to the Death in a Cage" was poorly received. It was then that he decided to develop lighter subject matter. Walt's first animated feature film was "Snow White and the Seven Studs", his most successful work. It was later retitled "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs", and the scenes of brutal non-consensual group sex were removed, much to the chagrin of his sweatier fans. Sadly, the cut footage has been lost to time. Accounts vary, but the original film is said to have been over twelve hours long.
[edit] The Golden Years
Almost immediately Disney began production on a new series of cartoons based on a character that was destined to be famous the world over: Popeye.In 1938 Disney won two Academy Awards for his animated shorts Kill-Crazy Jews Will Rape Your Girl, and I Wish I Had A Moustache, MR Hilter. He accepted both awards wearing nothing but a sequined cape, thong, a matching garter belt, and the head of a thousand slaughtered mice on his chest. When outraged Hollywood gossip columnist Cybmaline LaMour gasped in horror, Disney's famous retort put her to shame, and landed him a place in Bartlett's:
"What? WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, bITCh??? Fucking NIGGERS!!!..."
He is said to have based the character of Mickey Mouse on a tumorous growth on his left testicle. Subsequently removed, the tumour is preserved in a jar of formaldehyde in the main studio lot in Burbank, California. Curiously, it is said to be still growing, and needs a larger jar every six or seven years; the man changing the jars has no money and lives in a cardboard box, in the facility. He is in ill medical conditions, reportedly for having a liking of licking the tumor on the bottle-changing event. He apparently is oblivious to the mouse-like thingy's procedence. Or is he?
[edit] Crisis & Redemption
The start of World War II ended Disney's string of gay men. Labour troubles forced him to fire all his workers and start a third company: the "I'm Walt Disney And All You Cocksuckers Can Go To Hell" studio. By sending groups of prostitutes dressed in cartoon-animal costumes to the Pentagon where they freely distributed handjobs, Disney secured an important contract producing animated propaganda shorts. Some of these, such as Let's Kill All The Fucking Japs and Filthy Krauts, were later collected and edited into the first post-war feature-length cartoon, How We Kicked Ass And Won The War, a winner of the 1947 Academy Award for Best Documentary.
[edit] Cannibalism
It is not clear when Walt developed his taste for human flesh. Toynbee, the Great Historian, suggests that it was during the heyday of the Great Depression, when "Long Pig" was sold openly in Hollywood Farmer's markets. Whatever the truth may be, Disney kept a well stocked larder, and had a full time chef ready to prepare meals of "the forbidden fruit", at all times of the day or night. Disney adopted at least 50 children from the Third World over his lifetime. Unpleasant rumours about their disappearance continue to circulate, although these have been denied by the Official Court Biographer, Aloutious Dink. "There is nothing sinister about this. The children got homesick, and Walt flew them back to China, or Thailand, or India, or whatever hellhole they crawled out of. When's lunch? I could murder a curry!"
[edit] Sex Life
Walt's hatred of Fidel Castro has been well documented. What is less well known is that both men had been lovers in pre-revolutionary Cuba. Walt is said to have considered abandoning his wife (Marilyn Monroe) in order to obtain a sex change operation. It has even been suggested that Walt seriously considered shaving off his mustache, in order to "play the woman". However, this romantic idyll was not to be. Heartbroken by Fidel's overthrow of the Batista regime, Walt swore never to rest until the hairy Latin was made to kneel at his feet, so to speak. Sexually, Walt was something of an omnivore. "Animal, Mineral or Vegetable" was his motto. As a young man he had been shy and awkward, due to a vestigial tail. Once he had the tail surgically removed, his libido blossomed. He is said to have contracted seventeen different venereal diseases, and to have invented six or seven new ones. Danny Kaye described Disney as "The best lover I ever had. He had a horn that just wouldn't stop." The persistent rumor that Walt had President Kennedy's severed genitalia pickled in a jar are unverified, and cannot be regarded as trustworthy.
[edit] Yup, he's dead, accept the fact!
Disney's death was long believed to be the result having sex 210 times a day. More recent evidence strongly suggests that he was murdered. A deathbed confession by the "Nine Old Men" has surfaced, in which they confess to poisoning their tyrannical overlord. It seems that they could take no more of his wide eyed, tyrannical lectures about State's Rights, Richard Nixon, and Ayn Rand. Milt Kahl's confession was especially poignant. He admitted to holding Disney down by the shoulders while Woolie Reitherman stuffed a dirty rag in Walt's mouth to keep him from screaming. Then they broke his skull with a 16 field animation disk. His head is currently cryogenically preserved in the Burbank Lot, next to his long time mentor, Joseph McCarthy. Disney imagineers in North Hollywood are working, to this day, on a method to resurrect the Dark Prince. Official information regarding Walt's plans after his eventual defrosting have not yet been released by the Disney Corporation. However, an important document was leaked that detailed Walt's plan to be defrosted on New Years Eve 2082, alongside the career of Robin Williams (which was frozen with him). Others say that he was frozen in hell, just like Han Solo, because he was afraid of jews.
[edit] Controversies
Walt Disney has been criticised for using blatant subliminal imagery in order to indoctrinate children. The most notorious example was the insertion, for one frame, of the text message "Hitler had some good ideas" in the 1963 musical "Death, Dance With Me". Undaunted by the furore, Walt followed up the message with a second one in "You Got a Purdy Mouth" (a comedy set in the deep south, starring Peter O Toole and Vivian leigh). This time, the message was "Lets Run the Trains on Time".Some more really discussed controveries include things such as the word "SEX" appearing in dust clouds in The Lion King
, Aladdin saying "all good girls take off their cloths" to a tiger, and a cassle in The Little Mermaid that looks like a giant PENIS! It's true! And get this! In that same film, the priest, who's wedding Prince Eric and "Vanasa", when he says "Dearly beloved", HE HAS A BIG ONE!!!!!!!!!It is thought that the sex was actually supposed to be "SFX" (Sound effects, a tribute to the fx editors) and it is rumored that the guy who inserted the penis was mad at Disney and was about to be fired, but we all know that BOTH of these things were inserted as pornography. Also, in The Lion King Simba (*cough* Kimba *cough*) and Nala were cousins because in this "classic" (*cough* chessy feel-good rip-off of Kimba *cough*), the only male lion other than Simba (KIMBA! GOD!) and Mufasa is Scar.The same thing is in Bambi, in the novel Bambi, A Life in Smoking Pot Bambi and Daline were cousins.Yeah, I know!EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!![edit] Famous Disney Films
Disney films are known for their extreme sex and violence, and are therefore not recommended for children.
WARNING! Proceed with caution!
- Aristocraps
- High On Drugs Musical
- The Shagging Dog
- Boner's Fantasia
- Fantasia 3000
- Alice in Wonderbra
- Alice in Underpants
- Atlantits: We Lost the Empire
- Beauti And The Bitchiness
- Lady on Top of the Tramp
- Song in the Nigger Town
- Piss's Dragon
- Peter Pantsed
- The Fox and that Hounddog
- James and the Giant Bitch
- Sleeping Booty
- Sinnederella
- Cannibal Holocaust
- James and the Giant Spliff
- Boneward Hound
- Bars
- Rimjobs, Inc.
- Carnival Rats on Your Ass
- Southern-Accent Racist Stereotypical Panthers
- The Hobbit: Marijuana
- A Kiss Mah Ass Carol
- The Many Adventures Of Winnie the Pooped
- That Disney Movie that went directly to DVD
- The Nightmare After Christmas
- Treasure Butt Planet
- Swish Family Robinson
- 101 Felations
- Cums the Robinsons
- An Immensely Unnecesary Disney Sequel
- 101 Damnations in Heat
- 102 Damnations in Heat
- Flubbin' Her
- The Absent-Minded Prostitute
- Cherry Poppins
- Dairy Toppins
- Old Felcher
- Hitler: A Love Story
- Pearl Necklace
- Robin 'N Da Hood
- Honey, I Molested the Kid
- Another Damn Disney Movie
- The Lyin' King
- Pocahotass
- Pocahotass 2: Welcome to her World
- Freaky Fucked Up Friday!
- Yet Another Fucking Disney Movie
- Who Molested Roger Rabbit?
- MXP: Most Xtreme Pieceofshit
- The Emperor's Gay Grove
- The Emperor's Page Moved
- The Hunchback Of Notre-Damn It
- Piglet's Big Ass Movie
- Butt Pirates Of The Caribbean
- Ass Pirates of The Caribbean
- Saw
- Lilo on Top of Stitch
- One More Disney Movie For The Record
- Lilo on Top of Stitch 2: Lilo Gave Stitch a Glitch
- Homo on the Range
- The Little Merdude
- 101 Fellations
- Harry Potter and The Golden Dildo
- Rata-sued-me
- Sex Story
- The Rescuers Down Under Your Ass
- Finding Emo
- School of Cock
- What's in Jayne Mansfield's Hat Box
- Dieting with Robert Reed
- Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Whores Concert
- Easy Meals with Jeffrey Dahmer
- 101 Steps to the Perfect Fuck
- Horton Fears the Jews
- Aqua Teen Hunger Force
- Your Mom the Tramp
- The Sound of Farting
- Camp Cock
- Hostel
- Charles Manson: Not so bad?
- The Jews In My Home
- South Park
- The Enchanted Nipples
- The Enchanted 2its
- Another Shitty Disney Movie
- Shit, Where's My Bitch?
- Winnie the Prostitute
- Winehouse The Pooh
- Who fucked Roger Rabbit?
- Barfingly Disgusting Hell ChiwaWhy Did We Make This Movie?
[edit] Famous Television Series
- Teamo Supremoly Gay
- Mannah Hontanna, Teen Hooker
- 101 Dalmations In Heat: The Series
- Higglytown Homo's (1980-1987/co-production with Hanna-Barbara)
- Fucktales (1993-1999)
- Chip and Dale's Pokemon Rangers (1989-1999)
- Talespin Into The Ocean (1996-1997/co-production with Hanna-Barbara)
- Darwing Drunk
- Dillmore!
- Shit Life of Zack and Cody
- Brandy & Mr. Multiply
- The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooped (1988/(1988/co-production with Hanna-Barbara)
- So Weirds
- Lizzie McFucker
- Sabrina: The Teenage Bitch
- Sabrina's Slutty Secret Life
- The Buzz in Maggie
- Recass
- Pepper Goddamn Ann
- Lilo on Stitch: The Series
- Kim Dickable
- Phil of the Dickhead
- That's So Fucker
- Cummi Bears (1985-1992/co-production with Hanna-Barbara and Merv Griffin/Jeff Marlin Enterprises)
- The Wuzz's Ass (1983-1988/co-production with Hanna-Barbara and KingWorld)
- Gaygoyles
- Wizards of Hooker place
- Teacher's Bitch
- Cavemen's Talespin (1990-1996/co-production with Hanna-Barbara)
- My Friends Rag Picker Tigger and Winnie the Pooped (1987/co-production with Hanna-Barbara/Disco Jesus and The Teen Angels guested stared in this show)
- The Disco Jesus and The Teen Angels Show (1986/co-production with Hanna-Barbara and KingWorld)
