The War Against Terror

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     Did you mean bullshit?
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The public should remain petrified until it is over.
Bush liberates the Middle East with great visual effects. Note that everyone in the picture (besides Bush) is Osama Bin Laden.


“Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists, or you are not any of those things.”

~ George W. Bush on the war against terror

“People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you.”

~ Dick Cheney on the war against terror

“War. What is it good for? Kicking back on a Saturday night. And killing terror.”

~ Oscar Wilde on the war against terror


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The War Against Terror, or TWAT (not to be confused with the War on Microsoft) is a first person shooter released by United Electronic Arts of America on the 11th of September, 2001. The sequel to the wildly popular First Person Shooter "The Gulf War," TWAT introduces and is widely recognized for its immersive 3D graphics, networked multiplayer gaming, and the support for players to create custom erections. Its graphic and interactive violence has also made TWAT the subject of much controversy reaching outside world.

The franchise was continued with numerous expansion packs, including The War Against Terror: Afghanistan and The War Against Terror: War Against Saddam. Yet unreleased expansion packs include Iran, North-Korea, Homosexuals, iPods (see iPod users are trendy whores), and Abortion. Several motion picture titles are in making.

TWAT was originally released for US market for Windows and ported to Linux in 2001, five months later, it was also released for Mac OS X and Xbox. Russian and Chinese versions are graphically similar (with less details) to the original but features an additional two player co-operation mode. Players are able to fly fighter aircraft and bombers, capital ships and aircraft carriers, man coastal defenses, drive tanks and jeeps, or just fight as one of several classes of infantry.

..And all they did was take off the first "S"

Opinions[edit]

TWAT (D-pole) and Adam Smith are arguably the biggest, though most say they could do without the Bush.

Bush’s battle plan for T.W.A.T.

Emx is the biggest twat

Plot[edit]

The terrorists attacked the World Trade Center in Baghdad. The then-president of the Nations Against Terror Offences (NATO, Forest Gump) declared the attack an "outrage" and swore vengeance on the terrapins behind the deadly assault.

The nations of France, England, Mordor, Brazil and Detroit were declared part of a worldwide Axle of Evil and an insignificant war was started, which lasted a few days before being cancelled due to lack of interest from the tabloid press. Total fatalities counted around 1600 people, who were dying from GAIDS (gay aids) anyway.

Little did the Axle of Evil know, the forces of Mordor had just signed a secret peace treaty with the Klingon High Council. After this successful coup, Graf Gregor was taken prisoner aboard the Confederate Prison freighter C.S.S. Astroglide, and raped repeatedly by the captain and his crew. Ballsack.

The Middle[edit]

The failure of NATO to destroy terrorism in the 17th century resulted in the movement growing in popularity and power over time. Forced underground, terrorism became a highly progressive subculture, boasting highly reputed scientists and engineers amongst its number. By the 1800s terrorists had invented the external combustion engine and black metal, a good 200 years before the civilised world would catch up. Actual terrorist activities in the period from 1642 to 2001 were virtually nonexistent and people regarded the War Against Terror to have been won, as the enemy were no longer capable of carrying out terrorism. Events such as numerous IRA (Irish Rotary Association) bombings in Britain and ETA (Extreme Tobogganers Anonymous) attacks in Spain, whilst initially suspected as being terrorist attacks, were in fact, according to NATO (National Athletic Training Organization), insignificant politically motivated crimes.

The WMD Connection[edit]

WMDSearchm.jpg

The first mission of the TWATs is to rid the world of Widely Marketable Defibrillators or WMD, as they play a key role in numerous predicted terrorist attack strategies.

One such projected strategy is to to flood the global medicare market and crash the world's healthcare economy. As a result, massive swathes of the aging western population will fail to receive hip-replacements in time and die, leaving a lack of right-wing voters, allowing liberals to seize power and, through their idealistic ineptitude, bankrupt the economy of the western civilization. This scenario is known as the Harold Shipman Scenario due to its grannicidal element.

Another potential strategy of terrorists in possession of WMD is to use them as short-range assault weapons against members of the public. It is widely known that defibrillators possess the ability to fire bolts of evil lightning.

Criticism[edit]

Most critics decry TWAT's obviously unoriginal plot, stolen from its predecessor "The Gulf War." Locations, dates, and events were all copied shamelessly by leading developers of the sequel, none of which actually helped create the original epic game. Critics also have cited the ridiculous opening plot and setting as plain unbelievable. The plot reveals early on that CIA intelligence was fully aware of the plane situation but couldn't find the President because he busy vacationing at an undisclosed location (or sleeping). Recent mods have fixed this obvious plot problem by introducing Vice President Dick Cheney, "Dicky", as the guy who actually makes all of the decisions.

The final and largest criticism of The War Against Terror is the lack of gratutitous sex, nudity, and/or hookers. Modders have again answered the called of these nubile, sex-crazed gamers with the addition of the "Bush Twins." Nicknamed Jenna and Laura, the twins serve as comic and sexual relief by relentlessly flashing enraged terrorists. Terrorists, frightened at the mere glimpse of hair instantly explode. Since the introduction of the Bush Twins mod, sales of The War Against Terror have increased 3 fold.

The End of TWAT[edit]

The Irken takeover of Earth by Invader Zim in 2009 and subsequent removal of George W. Bush from power when he vetoed his pullout in his passionate stand for freedom was supposed to reckon the end of The War Against Terror. However, seeing as the takeover WAS an act of terrorism and the establishment of a dictatorship, it appeared to the democrats that "Terror" won afterall. Many so-called students who actually teach history, human events and public policy still claim this even though the Irkens were forced into a "redeployment" 5 years later. The ultimate result was the complete restoration of the status quo immediately before the commencement of the war on tcerror. This resulted in the end of history and shows how stupid liberal intellectuals are.

A recap of the war of terror


The historical significance[edit]

In fact, in 2062, the great pseudo-Chinese historian Goa Tse stated that "history was like doughnut, an expanding ring which open wide from coast to canyon, shocking all". Though people still do not know what he meant in terms of doughnuts and geography, and are still vomiting in their mouth about what the analogy was really playing off of, they now know that mere whole, general and unspecific ideas can prevail in war. Such ideas range from "Love" to "Chaos" and such material events such as "Drugs", and "Prostitution" and even abstract events such as "Terror". In the year 2100, experts still do not know what "Terrorism" actually is.The meaning of Twat is the word "GILES HAMILTON"

See Also[edit]

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about TWAT.