Warcraft 3

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Warcrap 3, created by Bob Smith (father of famous WC3 player, SewerCat), is both a parallel universe and a game that gradually began to form itself due to the sheer rage and will of the few loyal fans that grew over the centuries ever since Warcraft 2. This came to be in part due to the fact that Blizzard neglected to make a sequel to Warcraft 2 for all these centuries. Eventually Blizzard realized the potential of this universe that had formed itself, and began to create a game around it. Unfortunately, this formed a dramatic tear in time and space that resulted in Warcraft 3, becoming completely unrecognizable from Warcraft 2; almost acting as a separate series. No longer did the original conflict between orcs and humans (present in all previous games) exist. The game itself now introduced an unrelated plot, revealing a new baddie who was behind all the original fighting all along...the whole damn time. Suddenly the orcs were semi-good guys, and a new race of good guys, or in this case, good (as in 'hawt') gals (see Night Elves) appeared that had far more integral importance in the plot than the orcs and even the humans could hope to match. The game basically went from a good old war-fantasy to some pseudo complex mythological techno, sci-fi/fantasy world of political strife, tension and suspense oriented, love and lust affair of dominantly powerful gods and titans and demons duking it out in a super awesome matrix worthy action fight scene along with rock bands and all this other shit. I mean, I used to think of the humans as being simple middle age Europeans in a fictional nation or manor, facing a unique alternate history of monstrous and bad ass orcs, but apparently that's dead. I'm not kidding either. Apparently the world's kinda lost all realism. The term 'Azeroth' went from the name of a kingdom/nation, to the name of a whole god damn planet, so what the hell. Anyway, Warcraft 3 developed some eye-catching traits that bordered on anime and fucking dragon ball Z. Such a resulting parallel universe will most likely develop around StarCraft 2, before Blizzard quickly jumps to making it in the 33rd century. That'll probably scare the shit out of me.

Orcs in the Warcraft 3 parallel universe[edit]

After the names "Spawn of Yoda", and "Sickly Green Mucho Man" failed, Blizzard came up with the term "Orc" (which had nothing to do with Tolkien's orc whatsoever...entirely by coincidence...similar to the green Aliens from the Simpsons, and the fact that their native language was entirely the same as English in every possible way). "Orc" could stand for many things, including "Oh, Red Cookies!", "Oregon Rookie Chefs", and anything else that twisted imagination of yours might think of.

Some have theorized that an Orc resembles a cross between a pig and a human, because of the fact that 'Orc' rhymes with 'pork'. Of course in actuality, Orc is 'demon' in German, so the other theory is automatically scrapped for being scientifically proven to be composed entirely of dumbass matter. Kinda like women's rights activists. Or at least, that's what Orcs believe... just so you don't get on my case!

Orcs (also spelt 'orks' in crappier, unworthy fantasy games/books), are a warrior race. There's seriously not much else to say about them. They're probably autistic, cause they're all anti-social and have a serious obsession over single weapons like the axe; a weapon they ripped-off from the dwarves, but then decided to steal, so that they wouldn't get their asses sued. They also like food and water (something they stole from humans during the war of Warcraft 1... before then, they just ate grass and Draenei brains). Generally, orcs are also superior to humans in every physical way including strength, running, and eyesight, which explains how they pwned their asses in Warcraft 1, despite the fact that they were totally unorganized. All humans have is technology and a bit of brains. And it isn't even all that much technology; hell, they learned all their magic shit from the Caucasian elves (another story altogether).

It also appears that SOME kingdoms in Warcraft are, "weak as hell". The entire Caucasian elf kingdom of 'Don't Quelle the Thalos-Style Mayonnaise, Buddy' ('Thalos' being a now unknown delicacy said to taste damn good, but with an unknown recipe (kinda like triple-O sauce; this pretty much pissed everyone else off...something that a war fought and nation was formed over) was destroyed by about 30 claustrophobic, undead giant spiders and a guy riding a horse. Crap I just told you the story. Well, humans are weak little inferior sticks compared to orcs, so you get the point. Orcs also really hate horses though, which explains why the first time they tried to occupy Stormwind during the war of Warcraft 1, they ran away...for the first time ever in the warrior-history of this warrior-race, of warriors. Warriors usually don't run, cause they're supposed to be god damn warriors, dammit!

Their culture, that happens to be totally kick ass and appreciated by Blizzard as that of 'bad ass' and 'warrior-pimp' (whereas humans are all english and corrupt, and greedy and political and emotionally challenged alchoholics)[edit]

If you are a female, you will want to kill yourself now, because the orcs are a pretty sexist race. All men...which leads to speculation that orcs reproduce by means of budding (explaining orcish acne, in which the pimples resemble mini-peons). The only two female orcs would be Griselda, who got owned in WarCraft I -back when everything had 2-pixel eyes, and would all say the exact same things ("My liege?" "My liege?" "My liege?"). The evil overlord Bill Roper was responsible for that, but that story is for another time. The other is Garona, a half-orc half-draenei, who was quite ugly, despite not inheriting the Draenei's giant mouths. Or hooves. Or octopuse-on-her-fucking-face (that actually only occurs in males, but I felt the need to mention it). I've always personally imagined that she was tortured in a highly erotic, underwater, breath-holding scene when she disappeared, but that's also another story.

Once upon a time, the first orcs began establishing a quaint culture. They even had their own religious book, which, most notably stated, "Thou shalt rip the flesh from oneself's enemy for me, as long as ye stay green, sweaty, and...err...green." In time, this evolved into the teachings of shamanism and much more. A group of demons, perhaps the same ones behind the drug smuggling nowadays, enslaved the orcs and corrupted them. The orcs were now into hellish magics, and enjoyed blowing things up.

During the events of WarCraft I ("Yes, my lord." "Yes, my lord." "Yes, my lord." "Stop fucking poking me, okay?! It's gotten pretty fucking annoying! Do you have, like, ADHD, or something, man!? I mean seriously, what are you, some fucking desperate retard?! Jesus, man! Okay...okay...shouldn't make a scene, I know, I know... *breathes deeply*"), the orcs entered into Azeroth, and fought with the humans. Eventually, they gained their freedom some decades later. Even further on, an awesome orc, Thrall (who avidly supports modern slavery with his name, surprisingly without realizing it), and his retarded, yet manly friend, Grommash Hellscream (I mean seriously, how could Thrall put up with that guy? He's such a god damn icebreaker at parties and a loud, obnoxious bastard that it might of indicated a condition I don't even know of, and the scream was obviously worse if you didn't already realize by the name... alright I know this is rather unnecessary to be mentioning... I'll stop right here then), led their people to Kalimdor. After lots of senseless and highly unnecessary killing for an escape mission, and the ripping of limbs off of humans, the orcs eventually established their own quaint nation of Durotar; named after Thrall's father, thus fulfilling his father's longtime dream of having a nation named after himself, that would somehow allow people to gain more respect of him than he actually deserved; ultimately allowing him to assert a position of totally fascist, hitler-esque dominance. Unfortunately, Thrall's father died from assassins that had been sent by the loving Guldan... a goodhearted, timid warlock who was forced into taking such action after being informed of such things by the Shadow Circle; an anti-fascist network of spies that originally existed for the advancement and prosperity of all orc-kind, through pro-freedom means. Unfortunately, the Shadow Circle was brought to an unnecessarily bloody end, in the name of Shamanism and a ton of cannon fodder style, fighting orcs known as the 'Skin Rippers' and 'Skin Heads'. Oh, hey, I just realized I was getting off topic there. Sorry about that.

Anyway, there is much speculation directed towards the story of Thrall, that it has much more "logic" and "depth", but, one of my stature would rather speak the truth - which is little more than what I have typed above. If the answer to all life was summarized in a mere number, a two-digit number at that, then a story could be summed up in even less, but the publishing agencies wish for me to write a certain amount.

Humans in Wardraft 3[edit]

Arthas engaging in a discussion with Mal'Ganis over who used Alt-Q-Q first.

The humans fight the undead because Mal'Ganis pk'd the humans' leader, Art-Ass, in Runescape one time too many and he became a terminal tugboater and changed his name to Criminal Pissclam The Third . Then he snapped and killed all the villagers in the town. needless to say, King Columbine II was not pleased and sent all his fucking ADHD-afflicted midgets(otherwise known as dwarves)to kill Pissclam the Paladin and restore faith in Goodyear car tires. Criminal Pissclam The Third wasn't pleased and attacked King Columbine II with his nosehair and won.

Warcraft 3 and the Night Elves[edit]

The Night Elves are clearly the hottest race out there, in any fantasy game, book, or otherwise. I meant the women, that is. I'm not a homo, man!

A picture of what appears to be a female nightelf climaxing, while positioning herself on her panther. Obviously, the units were to boxy and crap-graphic oriented to be recognized by ESRB, to be performing such sexually enticing acts. Then the game woulda gotten an "M" for "Masturbation Material", at least.

But, seriously... I can't believe no one's written/drawn, like, an erotic fanfic, hentai, or otherwise provocative pictures including these creatures of ultimate desire. They're easily sex toys in WoW, but Warcraft 3 hasn't really earned the attention of the good crowd. Even in that game, they're hot...though not so much, cuz their thongs are all covered up by a panther, cape, or other weapon. Not to mention they only come as crappy little, boxy units. Other then that, they're still kinda hawt. But, I mean seriously guys, no one else realizes how hot they are in Warcraft 3?! Come on man. That's why this article's here to enlighten you.

Night Elf Units[edit]

The Night Elves have a wide variety of units. The biggest speculation is why the Night Elf druids have muscles, yet all they need to do is wave their staff and say "Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto" to conjure up magical spells. Also, the Night Elves seem to have many half-stag units, such as your standard Stagman, and your standard Stagman. How they reproduce raises questions, and why some Night Elvish ancestors did it with a stag to make these abominations is an even larger question. Nonetheless, the Night Elves are known for giving sacrifices to cannibalistic trees, in order to raise an army of more cannibalistic trees capable of destroying everything. They also enjoy, when the moon is out, standing naked, drunk, and invisible in an enemy base, waiting for the right time to strike. It is also pondered about what they do in their so called "Moon Wells" that fill up with water in the night as well. It is suggested that 5 naked archers (or a Priestess of the Moon and a Grove Street OG, or 2 Huntresses and 2 archers, or 10 wisps) could easily fit in them, therefor think they are outdoor spa's for Night Elves. Unfortunately Night Elf females can turn invisible during the night while males cannot, leaving us with nothing good to look at. However, Goblin scientists, in their brilliance (after having squandered trillions of dollars worth in gold from Jewish internet enclaves), have created an item called "Dust Of Appearance" that work just like x-rays.

A cannibalistic tree. I mean, holy shit, look at the size of that thing! Merciful Elune, why do these damn things even be allowed to live?!

Requirements for Turning Invisidible[edit]

The nakedity of the sheer presence of nakedness, and letting the women's curvy and gymnast-style assets all hang out (AKA: being naked), is an absolute necessity. Only females are capable of turning invisible, as is. Around about the time in history when reality shifted and the resolution and general makeup of every material structure in existance, looked ever-slightly more graphical; which occurred roughly around the same time single soldiers decided to embark on useless adventures (AKA: the time WoW was released); male night elves chose to become metros... thus, they gained the ability to turn invisible at nighttime as well. Unfortunately, this also created a shift in space/time, forcing all nightelves to stand still in order to turn invisible...this was the case before, except now they couldn't do it for several seconds after previously turning invisible; a fact that was found to be incredibly annoying by most tacticians of the time. While nightelves could now perform this at both day and nighttime, this also unfortunately no longer required them to remove all articles of clothing (except their scantily thong panties and bra, which is how things went down previously); it was fortunate for the males however, because I'm totally not a homo like I already said. However, nightelven women, who were so used to getting naked in order to turn invisible, still continued with their provocative ways. Some even went temporarily bat fuck insane, sprinting all the way to the human and dwarf kingdoms of Stormwind and Ironforge to perform lap dances for free...though the really wise ones began to charge money, cause they knew how to be successful and followed the 'Nine Steps to Success', as provided by that guy who was the father in the movie, 'Little Miss Sunshine'.

It has been often speculated that the invisibility was caused by their extreme, toned, sexy, purple, smooth, sexy, sexy, sexy, really bloody hot sexiness. Back several million or somewhat years ago when Night Elf women couldn't become invisible, the men would relentlessly bang their smexy, muscled hotness and thus produce enormous ammounts of unwanted Night Elves. Being immortal, this became quite a problem as the majority of them -NEVER- fucking die. To defend themselves from such orgies, the Night Elf females eventually developed the ability to become invisible when the men woke up at night. So there. Right there. Finally you got an explanation on the origin of that, after like a whole few paragraphs. And don't blame the writer of this article; he is most knowledgeable of future events.

The Warcraft 3 Multiplayer Experience[edit]

The Warcraft 3 Multiplayer experience is somewhat different from the single player experience. It's different in the fact that while playing multiplayer, you will lose in like 30 seconds. Seriously, don't even load it up. Don't even THINK about loading it up. Don't even THINK ABOUT THINKING about loading it up.

After the war, many murloc's were forced into low paying janitorial positions.

Common Strategies in Warcraft 3[edit]

Alt-Q-Q[edit]

Alt-Q-Q is one of the most popular strategies in Random Team games on Battle.net. To perform this strategy, simply press Alt-Q, followed by Q (that is, after you have located 'alt' and 'q' of course). When done early in the game, by all the players on a single team, this will end the game very quickly. There is nothing the opponents can do to counter this. For this reason, Alt-Q-Q is considered an "unmannered" strategy to use, and thus you will not see professional players using it very often

Teching[edit]

This strategy can be done as human, night elf, or orc. You mass worker units, and when you have enough money to upgrade your main hall, you do so. This strategy used to be wildly popular in Random Team, but has largely been superseded by the improvement, Fast Teching.

Fast Teching[edit]

This is a variant of the Teching strategy in which, instead of something like actually building worker units to gather resources (see: being on the bandwagon of lame pop-culture), you whine to your allies to give you resources so that you can tech. It can be used by all races, but minor variations are required in the whining. In general, the whine should take the following form:

Cquote1.png give me gold/lumber so I can get <insert heavy air unit here> Cquote2.png

Scouting[edit]

Scouting is definitely not recommended in Warcraft 3, under any circumstances. This is why you will not see your teammates scouting in games on Battle.net.

The reason you should not scout is that it is so difficult to do, that only the most pro of pros can do it while still remembering to build units and gather resources. Also, the element of surprise might leave you giddy with excitement. If that's not fun for you, then too bad. Hero scouting is also totally unsatisfying by the way.

Militia Creeping[edit]

Only humans can militia creep. To militia creep, the human sends peasants from his lumber or gold lines to commit suicide in creep camps. When it became obvious to the makers of Warcraft 3 that this was a clear imbalance, they made the strategy more difficult for the human to do by giving them the "Call to Arms" ability, which makes the peasants turn into Chuck Norris-like fighting machines of doom that just don't die. With care, however, this strategy can still be carried out, but requires intense micro of the militia to make sure they do not accidentally one-shot the creeps. Especially effective when you use an archmage with water element and 7-10 militia to take out creeps guarding a gold mine, when the militia turn back into slaves you build a townhall to mine gold.

Tower Rush[edit]

In tower rushing, you build towers in your opponent's base to destroy his buildings. Clearly, this is not a good strategy, because towers are defensive units. Therefore, anyone who uses the tower rush strategy is automatically a n00b. The way to counter a tower rush is to type the chat message "LOL n00b has to tower rush to win" and employ the Alt-Q-Q strategy, described above.

DOTA=[edit]

Dota is the Zombie virus of Warcraft 3 customs games. The second you enter a Dota game your computer becomes a "computer zombie" and joins the hordes of other computer zombies in dota games in a attempt to take over the custom games menu and eventually all of warcraft 3. Thier main plan after that is to establish an alliance with gay WoW players and then Take over all gaming platforms,the internetz, and eventually the world. (see Dota for more)

Harassment[edit]

if you want to cyber go to channel sex and its like a 10 way conversation cybering

Blademaster Harass[edit]

This is a strategy that only orcs can do. The orc builds a Blademaster, which will run behind the enemy units while invisible and harass them. The Blademaster is bisexual and doesn't care whether he harasses Archers or Footmen. He will even harass yucky dead units like Ghouls.

Paladin Harass[edit]

Harassing with a paladin is not recommended, because it counts as "willingly committing an evil act" and causes the paladin to lose his paladinhood permanently. Even powerful ninth-level spells such as Wish cannot reverse this.

Oh, yeah. Harassment counts as an evil act, if you didn't get the memo.

Expanding[edit]

Expanding is where you build a second base. Humans are the race most commonly seen expanding; often this is preceded by militia creeping (see above).

Sorceress[edit]

Sorceresses are priests with vaginas, when they attack they jump in the air and spread thier .013 cm. legs. they can cast slow, which slows the enemy from killing them in 3 seconds to 5 seconds. 1 strategy that incorporates sorcs. is 5 sorcs with 10 mortars, cast invisibility on your hero and mortars then go to the back of the enemies base and kill the townhall and other vital buildings.

Mass Flying Machines[edit]

This strategy was very popular for a time until someone realized that Flying Machines have no health and die instantly when attacked by peons. The popular word "roflcopter" came from referring to these little stinkers.

Destroyers[edit]

Undead players like to get destroyers because the name sounds cool. In fact, destroyers aren't very good at destroying things, but they have a very good name. As such, most players like to use the Alt-Q-Q strategy to counter them.

Dryads and Bears[edit]

This is the most common strategy for night elf players to employ. It consists of the elf player getting a large number of dryads and bears and using them to smash the opponent's army, followed by the opponent's base.

The reason this strategy is popular is that night elf, as a race, has access to only three different units -- dryads, bears, and wisps -- and wisps don't do damage. (This is a well known fact about night elves. Any rumors to the contrary are due to the propaganda of Fox News.)

The Reel-Time Strategy Strategies You Haven't Thought of Yet[edit]

  • a) When in a losing situation in a Free for All
  • b) When in a losing situation in a Team Game

a) 'Free for all' generally implies that everyone's free to dick around (and in case you didn't know what 'dicking' meant, it usually implies masturbation whilst waiting for everyone else to kill each other).

a) I. The key point is to build up your defenses and wait until everyone else has killed each other. It is advised that you harvest a mile wide/long forest, drain the shit out of your only gold mine and build up several dozen layers of towers, such that your defense is so uber that the enemy won't even reflect upon the idea of attacking you until the very end. Of course, the last player standing will probably have somewhere between 5 and 8 expos. Your defenses should hold however. And no man, trust me, he can't afford flying goblin transports to hit you behind the line. It is imperative that you do not build any expos or do any creeping whatsoever as it will waste valuable time/workers that could otherwise be spent building precious towers for your mighty defense.

Burrows and building upgrades aren't advised either, because of the aforementioned.

II. Forge alliances as a cunning double agent via private chat. When the end is near, 1: backstab everyone still alive and 2: cower in cowerdice.

b) Details: When in a team match, studies have proved that 97.596% of the time, you will be the dude who's base is farthest away from your teammates and closest to the enemy's.

I. When the enemy rushes you while your guard is down, many of the pros suggest these 3 simple but effective steps:

  • Bend Over with your head between your knees
  • Kiss your ass good-bye
  • Sabotage your connection so you have an excuse as to why you left, or you can just leave if you don't care what other people think of you

II. The best thing to do when encountering a force too large for you to deal with is to bring it to your ally's base and let them deal with it. If they really were your teammate, they wouldn't mind.

Heroes of Warcraft 3[edit]

One of the stupidest reasons that Warcraft 3 exists is because of heros. Oh joy.

Arthas[edit]

Despite popular belief, Arthas was not a Hero in the game. Arthas was actually a figment of everyone's imagination. According to a reliable source at Blizzard, the Janitor's four year old son, Blizzard designed Warcraft to be a pointless game with no goals whatsoever. As it turns out, the word "Arthas" appears in tiny letters at the bottom of the screen for a few seconds during the intro.

Powers:

None. didn't you hear me? he's not real, you fucking idiot!!!

Uther[edit]

Uther is the most useless character in the game. He may appear cool with all his armor and that giant hammer, but in truth all he does is run around and talk gibberish. At the end of the human campaign, he realizes this fact and decides to file a complaint to Blizzard. Unfortunately he is killed by ravenous hordes of undead while writing, and now he's dead and can't do a single fucking thing about it.

Powers:

Divine Gayness: Creates a magical beacon that summons the gods to assrape him.

Aura of Stupidity: Decreases the health of everyone around him by 100.

Jaina[edit]

Jaina is a creepy girl who lives in the Dalaran dungeon playing World of Warcraft all day. She has a fettish for spying on peoples conversations, which usually ends in her receiving a lashing from Antonidas. While trying to "quell" the undead uprising in Lordaeron, she accidentally lost her magical hooded robe, and boarded a ship that was headed across the sea to Kalimdor. She died of sunlight exposure on the way, and was quickly replaced by a bottle of Barq's Root Beer. Surprisingly, nobody found it strange that they were taking orders from a bottle.

Powers:


Summon bucket of water: creates a uber godly bucket thats invincible and does a sick 0 dmg. 1337 Blizzard: Summons a million 1337 words from the sky, dealing 0 damage each.

Nothing else: <----Read this.

Kel'Thuzad[edit]

Kel'Thuzad is by far the most awesome character in the game. When he was human, he was a wizard (AWESOME) and when he was undead, he was a Lich (AWESOME). He totally pwns everything, and seeing as Arthas isn't even real, that means he's the actual leader of the undead (AWESOME).

Powers:

Play the game and find out, lazy-ass.

Other Heroes[edit]

All other heroes in the game suck ballz. they include:

1. Malfurion

2. Tyrande Whisperwind

3. Vin Diesel

4. Not Chuck Norris

5. Captain Placeholder

6. Jim Raynor

7. Mothafuckin' Samuel L. Jackson

8. Some guy named Stan

9. Some other guy not named Stan

10. Bill Clinton's grandfather

11. Dr.Phil /w Chainsaw

Other facts on Warcraft 3[edit]

Potions[edit]

There are various potions throughout the World of Warcraft (that is, Warcraft 3 lolol). Many normal units wish they could drink them, but they can't due to the fact that they aren't "cool enough." Conversely, many heroes wish they didn't have to drink them, but are forced to, because they were peer pressured into it, and now rely on them for survival when in a desperate situation. Supposedly "every hero's doing it." Legends tell of the first potion, supposedly giving infinite life by drawing on the powers of the ancient Well. However, in present day they usually don't do much more than give you a sudden amount of speed or energy. No one knows who first put caffeine in the EternityWell, but they are currently being tracked down to be arrested. And to be given a medal. For being so damn sly as to have the idea of slipping that shot of zip in the ol' well in the first place...which kinda destroys the point, but I don't make the rules, man! As for the Well itself...well (Semi-synonym play! Damn, I'm witty.), I won't bore you with that story of magic and untold incomprehensible power that so many bloody wars were fought and demons summoned over through sheer greed. I wasn't only just trying to convince you to be actually interested, now either; it really is a half-assed historical 'mythology'.

Physics Engine[edit]

This is a lie, the physics engine on WC3 is shit, so some nerds made one so they could play a map called elimination tourament, blizzard sued them, and now they hide in the western hills on russia, planing on how to make WC3 MOAR FUN!

Critters[edit]

Ah, for as long as I can remember (about 3 days ago) the critters of Warcraft were cute, or slow, or useless, or pathetic, or merely a distraction to sidetrack and efficiently distract and/or (but likely an and) eliminate noobs from playing the game properly and blocking the building zone (this damn boar! its stalking my peon!!), thus influencing Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest on Bnet. In reality the critter is an explosive nuke waiting for the buttons to be clicked. The critter will take on many forms to elude its pray. They might be a seal or a sheep or maybe even a bear (no I was kidding...but they really shoulda thought of that, cuz then the enemy would think they're semi-hostile, when really they're not cuz they're just a pathetic critter, but then the bear'll explode, and the guy will be all like "Aww man! Totally shoulda done a double-take!" ... it'd be awesome, but they didn't.) When located around your base the best thing to do is click it and imagine the apocalypse is having a serious orgasm, such that it'll accidentally forget about it's schedule and just come to Earth tomorrow for no reason (AKA: Clicking like there's no tomorrow). The critter should curse and then explode into an explosion bigger then the siege tanks (ironic?). If the critter fails to explode after clicking then it must be a mechanical critter, designed to sidetrack your ass. This also probably means the enemies are spying on you. The best solution is to kill it or read the section strategies you haven't thought of yet. Another solution would probably be to simply kill every critter that comes near your base, but then that'd probably take all the fun away. Their only defense from your genocide is their cuteness and your mom probably telling you to come for dinner, or stop masturbating, or get to bed, or go to school, or go to work, or move out, or stop playing computer games, or quit sniffing crack, or go back to college/highschool, or using your room for the daddy/burglar romping session they're about to have (the awkwardness will eventually force you to leave... there is no will save epic enough that can be made against it). You can overall avoid the critters by using the Alt-Q-Q method as instructed.

Shades[edit]

Shades are invisibly, gaseous, and deadly. They're extremely useful to spy on people in the bathroom, and take pictures to post on school walls. You can then black mail your enemy into losing the game. When they're not being naughty, they do spy work for the mob, FBI, and anyone else who happens to have a sacrificial pit to lure acolytes to. The easiest way to find out how to kill an acolyte is to simply get a truffle, and put it at the bottom of the pit. The xenophobic Englishmen (the acolytes) simply love those things, and they'll do anything for just one...even die a horribly unnecessary death at the hands of carnivorous souls in a swirling pool of unholy, highly volatile, and probably satanic energy. The drawback is that truffles are hard to come by. I hear you have to get a pig to sniff for them in the ground. Pigs are also kinda hard to come by these days, without braving the Farmer's Market.


People Who Play it[edit]

The people who play Warcrap 3 have no life and either live in their mothers basement or will eventually live in their mothers basement. All the teenagers who play this dream to grow up and be a video game designer or computer progamer but lack the skill and Grades to do so. Thus living in their mothers basements for the rest of their pathetic lives.