Washington Monument

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Quite a bit smaller in-person

The Washington Monument is a monument named after Washington, in Washington. Did we mention it's a monument?

It is an obelisk built in the late 1800s and took approximately 50 years to build (quite a feat considering it is only as tall as a 5-foot man). It is visited by millions of tourists annually who have nothing better to do than eat Doritos and watch Judge Judy.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Washington Monument.


There are various competing hypotheses over its intended purpose. Some experts believe that it could have been built to:

  • Serve as a large dildo for Paris Hilton.
  • Serve as a landmark for passing terrorist flight hijackers.
  • Serve as a sundial for when America runs out of electricity.
  • According to Peter Griffin it looks like a giant penis.
  • Some also say that it might be a tribute to Bill Clinton

See also[edit]