the agricultural revolution the industrial revolution the invention of the pop tart.
New features in Web 2.0™
- Alt key — Using the alt key, users may now browse the web one-handed, using just keyboard navigation, leaving that all-important mouse hand free for other tasks.
- maximize button — Full-screen porn at the touch of a button.
- minimize button — The long-awaited "boss key" that will instantly hide all of those porn web sites and bring up a user-configurable choice of "boss-friendly" sites: BBC News, MSN, Snopes, or BurtReynoldsOrNot.com
- protected mode — Users may now view porn sites safe in the knowledge that they are fully protected. Protection comes in three forms: standard mode, 386 enhanced mode, and ribbed.
- Microsoft Word
- New features such as "crowdsourcing the blogosphere" or "pretentious meaningless tech babble" will be backwards compatible with porn and pop-ups.
- Bigger fonts for users who are "going blind"
- Rounder 3D graphics (4D graphics still expensive to produce), especially in the corners; bevels are expressly verboten
- New color schemes: Pastel, Muted Gray, and Hot Dog Stand (on Ruby on Rails. testing, development and production server defaults, respectively)
Roadmap for future versions of the World Wide Web
Tim Brooke-Taylor, multibillionare founder of multinational pharmaceuticals and tobbacco corporation Microsoft-Nestle-Schweppes and inventor of the <nowiki> tag, has already issued a roadmap for future versions of the World Wide Web:
- Web 3.5, more properly Web New Technology — A complete rewrite of the World Wide Web from the ground up. Fewer pages about bloggers. More kittens.
- Web 4.0 — Improvements to Web 3.5 to enable it to take full advantage of the Intel 80386 processor.
- Web 98 — A new, improved, version of Web 2.0, created as a consequence of the failure of the market to adopt Web 4.0
Rush Limbaugh on Web 2.0™
"Web 2.0™? It was only a matter of time more and more folks got on the web and communicated, you take older sites such as geocities, etc..add a few features and crap, and you have myspace. And this is called web 2.0™. Thousands of adults are sitting down and thinking and talking obout this "phenomenon", huh?"
The term Web 2.0™ was actually created on a flight somewhere in the states by a sassy frood norwegian guy named Mats. Mats was seated next to Tom O'Reilly and they started discussing the interweb. The discussion went like this:
Mats: "You know Tom, what the world really needs, is a more semantic and integrated web. We should call it something .. to show that it really is a step forward!"
Tom: "What about The Next Weberation?"
Mats: "Man Tom, You suck. How about Web 2.0™?"
Tom: "I love it!"
And voila, the term Web 2.0™ was born.