Web 2.0

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Web 2.0™, more properly Web/286, is the next generation version of the World Wide Web created by O'Reilly Media for web browsers that use the new generation of advanced Intel 80286 processors. Capable of displaying multiple overlapping Javascript pop-up porn site advert windows at the same time, whatever web site one actually chooses to visit, both bloggers and informed commentators everywhere are already calling it a paradigm shift in the structure of the World Wide Web, and the most fundamental revolution in human civilization since the agricultural revolution the industrial revolution the invention of the pop tart.

Web 2.0™ is closed source and licenced under the GNU General Porn Licence.

New features in Web 2.0™[edit]

  • Alt key — Using the alt key, users may now browse the web one-handed, using just keyboard navigation, leaving that all-important mouse hand free for other tasks.
  • maximize button — Full-screen porn at the touch of a button.
  • minimize button — The long-awaited "boss key" that will instantly hide all of those porn web sites and bring up a user-configurable choice of "boss-friendly" sites: BBC News, MSN, Snopes, or BurtReynoldsOrNot.com
  • protected mode — Users may now view porn sites safe in the knowledge that they are fully protected. Protection comes in three forms: standard mode, 386 enhanced mode, and ribbed.
  • Microsoft Word
  • New features such as "crowdsourcing the blogosphere" or "pretentious meaningless tech babble" will be backwards compatible with porn and pop-ups.
  • Bigger fonts for users who are "going blind"
  • Rounder 3D graphics (4D graphics still expensive to produce), especially in the corners; bevels are expressly verboten
  • New color schemes: Pastel, Muted Gray, and Hot Dog Stand (on Ruby on Rails. testing, development and production server defaults, respectively)

Roadmap for future versions of the World Wide Web[edit]

A scientist (Frinton of Epsom) demonstrates an early prototype of Web 2.0™

Tim Brooke-Taylor, multibillionare founder of multinational pharmaceuticals and tobbacco corporation Microsoft-Nestle-Schweppes and inventor of the <nowiki> tag, has already issued a roadmap for future versions of the World Wide Web:

  • Web 3.5, more properly Web New Technology — A complete rewrite of the World Wide Web from the ground up. Fewer pages about bloggers. More kittens.
  • Web 4.0 — Improvements to Web 3.5 to enable it to take full advantage of the Intel 80386 processor.
  • Web 98 — A new, improved, version of Web 2.0, created as a consequence of the failure of the market to adopt Web 4.0

Rush Limbaugh on Web 2.0™[edit]

"Web 2.0™? It was only a matter of time more and more folks got on the web and communicated, you take older sites such as geocities, etc..add a few features and crap, and you have myspace. And this is called web 2.0™. Thousands of adults are sitting down and thinking and talking obout this "phenomenon", huh?"

Trivia[edit]

The term Web 2.0™ was actually created on a flight somewhere in the states by a sassy frood norwegian guy named Mats. Mats was seated next to Tom O'Reilly and they started discussing the interweb. The discussion went like this:

Mats: "You know Tom, what the world really needs, is a more semantic and integrated web. We should call it something .. to show that it really is a step forward!"
Tom: "What about The Next Weberation?"
Mats: "Man Tom, You suck. How about Web 2.0™?"
Tom: "I love it!"

And voila, the term Web 2.0™ was born.

See also[edit]