Wench
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“Unless otherwise stated, your mum is most assuredly a wench.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Wenches
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[edit] History
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Without a doubt, the foundation of wenchhood is shrouded in mystery. It is believed to have originated in the 7th century BC, but ongoing studies indicate that evidence of the phenomenon may arise from earlier times.
[edit] Definition
A typical definition of a wench was found in the Oxford (scum) English Dictionary : A person (esp. woman) of disrepute and exceptional sexual ability, ie. someone who gives great head on the second date, using frisky badgers as a sexual talisman. This shows an incredible affinity with the animal kingdom that no-one but a wench could hope to match. Maybe your mum. Oh wait, she is one. My BAD!
[edit] History of Definition
The Definition has been around since Medieval times.
[edit] Definition of History
The branch of knowledge that records and analyzes past events. Typically biased and unreliable (see wikipiedia).
[edit] Early Wenches
[edit] Wenches in Modern Times
It is believed that there may be as many as seven wenches hiding under your couch, but your milage may vary. Reports disagree, but no confirmable results outside of between 3 and 14 have been published. In view of these findings, at least 3 wenches are found under every couch and one can deduce that at least 18 billion wenches exist around the world.
Latest global warming statistics indicate a direct correlation between the number of wenches and average global temperature. Geoge Bush's Mum, clearly a wench, has no doubt that the Kyoto Protocol has been conspiring with wenchhood since Medieval times. Debate continues as to whether wenches provide any valuable contribution to society. Currently income tax acquired from wenches keeps the American economy buoyant, and recent moves to overthrow them are fiercely contested by the American Right. Your Mum is at the forefront of the lobbying.
ED. NOTE: Thanks to the the great American chain of 'Medieval Times', visitors can now view wenches in their natural habitat! The chain has locations in Dallas; Schaumburg, Illinois; Fuckislut, Florida; Provence, France; Santiago de Compostela; Georgetown, Mississississippippippi; Newfort, Nebraska; 59th and Lexington (3 locations); the South Pole; Atlantis; somewhere in San Marino; St Louis; Polar Bluff; Mars; Ios; Ethiopia; your mom; Uranus; Canada and Behind your ears. (If you've been knighted, you can take a wench home for three bucks each.)
