Werebevear

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In Bantu mythology, a Werebevear is a creature half Bevear, half Man (A Werebevear is never female). He spends most of his time in human form, but can take on bevear form at any point, particularly when provoked.

The existance of these creatures has never been proven; however, several sightings have been reported in New Zealand and Africa.


Controversies over the existance of the Werebevear[edit]

There's a common thought around these days that Creatures such as the Werebevear actually don't exist. A quote from a well-known member of the skeptics society, Andre Le GĂ©ant:-

"Who do these people think they are?! There's no evidence! Big foot, Santa, Werebevears, the abominational Snowman! There's simply no proof".

This kind of thinking is unhelpful! Just because we've never seen something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. There is a new school of thought which has come about under the guidance of well-known thinker Edward Citrullo. He believes that there are many Werebevears about, and that their apparent absence is due to the following phenomena: (1) The man has not realised his true nature; (2) Upon discovering his awesome and special ability, the subject becomes so greatly ashamed, and scared of the possible changes to his lifestyle, that he never reveals his werebevearness to anyone.

Are you a Werebevear?[edit]

If you display the following symptoms, you may be a werebevear:

  • An enjoyment of sneaking up on other organisms
  • A tendency to suddenly become vicious when threatened. Such behaviour may include, but is not limited to growling/snarling, baring of the teeth, and biting those threatening you.
  • A desire to make off with, and devour some, but not all unattended children
  • An appreciation of extreme right-wing political views
  • Excessive hair (and time) on your hands

If you display more than half of these symptoms, please contact a medical health professional. Avoid the media, remembering that the more secretive you are, the more you will be able to sell your story for later.

Treatment[edit]

There are no full cures for this, but there are several rumored treatments to stop, slow or weaken the effects.

  • Marmite can block out the moon's reactive U.V (ultra violent) rays.
  • Midget blood can do absolutely nothing to help so dont believe the rumors.
  • Many virginity gems can be used for pleasure when.... wait! this is the wrong article! DAMN!!!!!!.
  • Hair from a hog, urine from a goat and the brains of a countdown host mix to make muju juice used to calm agression.
  • Virgin blood calms the nerves preventing transbogrovagalatorvation
  • Mix all of the above for a total cure, NOTE may kill instantly, NOTE there isn,t really another piece of info i just like writing NOTE