Wesley Willis

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Wesley Willis.
The Man, The Myth.
"Rock over London, Rock on Chicago. Wheaties, the breakfast of champions."

Being one of the greatest rockers of all time, 'Wesley Willis is well known for his very unusual musical style, head butting, and the illustrious Casio keyboard. Several famous singers and songwriters were influenced by Willis' work including Fred Durst, Madonna, Britney Spears, The Beatles, and Cyndi Lauper. However, none of them come anywhere close to the musical brilliance that is indeed, Wesley Willis.

Once, Wesley Willis rocked the house, with PDW, for a hour and a half straight. It was quite the show as he definitely knows how to rock, and it will never be forgotten. With the Casio bumping and the endless supply of cheeseburgers (for energy), Willis couldn't be stopped. Wesley was a man who played for the fans, and the fans alone. He was in it for the art and the love of music. Money wasn't no motivator for this true gift from God.

Wesley Willis has over 750,000 albums. He was known to complete 6 every 34 minutes and he wouldn't stop except to play live, eat cheeseburgers, and occasionally head butt someone. Head butting was the second favourite pastime of Wesley. As you can see from the pictures, Willis formed quite the manly callus from this most excellent activity. Some say that if you were ever given the chance to head butt Wesley, part of him will live on with you forever.

During his career, Wesley won over 18,000,000,000 Grammy awards, 10,000 of which he won in one night, beating the record of 0 set by Rosie O'Donnell in the year 999. It is also true that the famous "piano you can play with your feet" at F.A.O. Schwarz in New York City was hand-constructed by Wesley as he was recording his quadruple-platinum single "Suck a Cheetah's Dick". Tom Hanks, after shooting that one movie he was in, was reported as saying, "Dagnabbit, that Wesley Willis fellow is sure one mighty swell poppycock!"

Wesley Willis played the songs that were on his playlists, and never the songs that came from your mouth. He also would never play until somebody gave him a headbutt. On several occasions he knocked Batman on the ground.

Wesley Willis is dead. Rock over London. Rock on Chicago. Wheaties: Breakfast of Champions.

External Link[edit]

If you would like a little taste of Wesley's music and learn what it can really do for you, please see this link --> Samples Suck a greyhound's musty ass, muthafucker!

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