“I COULD GROW WHISKERS IF I DAMN WELL WANTED TO. Security, get this a-hole out of here”
Whiskers are often observed on mammals. The long hairs protruding from the front regions of the face have been examined and studied for a long time. Scottish makers of intoxicating beverages have named a traditional product after them and aboriginal tribes in the southeast andes have used cat whiskers as bridal decoration and to clean the gaps between their front teeth for centuries until cats went extinct in the region.
The functions of whiskers have not been fully understood for a long time. The traditional view would describe the function of whiskers as something like "helping orientation in the dark", or as an "tactile aid". Something like: "If the whiskers would fit into a gap then the whole cat fits into it without getting stuck".
- The average length of cat-whiskers is exactly lamba 2 of the wavelength of high frequency signals around 2.4 GHz
- The capability of the cat to move its whiskers at will allows them to produce an high-directional antenna array for signals in the range of 2.4 GHz with an antenna gain of more than 32dB
- Mice emit 2.4 GHz signals when mating (which means they are distracted during this process, which in turn makes them easy prey (Maybe this finding is caused by proliferation of bluetooth headsets in Estonia during the mating season of mice, further investigations have to eliminate this possible source for errors)
Problems in Modern Households
Many devices such as microwave ovens, bluetooth devices or wireless computers emit high frequency signals, which will leave the poor cat completely disoriented, perplexed and in a state of mind to slip into the next wormhole.
Cats are often observed to attack wireless computer equipment, microwave ovens and alike. This new fact will now make you understand this formerly mysterious behaviour.