White & Nerdy
White & Nerdy Syndrome (commonly known as WAN or Yankovic's Lurgy) is a terrible, all-too common disease that results in strange, sometimes anti-social behaviour and increasing paleness. It is related to Wikiphrenia and other mental illnesses.
There are specific people who can easily dianosed with WAN.
- "Weird Al" Yankovic - OBVIOUSLY
- You - Definetly if you read this article
- Captain Crunch - Captain Crunch is a friggin' pimp don't mess with him or he'll pop a cap in your ass!!! (overdramatic)
- Captain Swing - Wow. What an obscure reference.
- Michael Jackson - White but not nerdy. The nerdy transferred over to give him twice the white-ness
- George Bush - He gets too many retarded references on Unyclopedia
- Prince - No he's just a fag
- Jabba the Hutt - Well we caught Jabba reciting Monty Python, but hey he is a pimp. I mean look how he dressed Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi
Did I just say that OH NO I"M WHITE AND NERDY!!! AHHHHHHHH (Kills Himself)
- Spontaneous Lawn Mowing
- Wanting to roll with the gangstas
- First at your class at M.I.T.
- Becoming a champion at D&D
- MC Escher is your favorite MC
- Tendency towards consumption of Earl Grey Tea
- Hubcaps/Rims on your car are very stationary
- Seth Green appearing in your house beside your vast cherry status collectible collection
- Your library contains works of Stephen Hawking
- Your MySpace page is totally pimped out, and people fight for the top 8 places in your friends list
- Sudden knowledge of pi to 1000 places.
- Wearing braces not grills
- Order all of your sandwiches with mayonnaise
- MineSweeper genius, can play for days
- No killer app you haven't run
- Becoming an expert at Pascal
- You play do vector calculus just for fun
- Using a soldering gun instead of a gat
- Happy Days is your favorite song
- Sudden ping-pong skills
- Increased trivia knowledge
- Get around on a Segway
- Collecting X-Men comic books
- You wear a pocket protector for your pens
- Editing/vandalising Wikipedia
- Memorizing Holy Grail by Monty Python
- You run a business doing websites, and your friends call you for HTML help
- You made a webpage for your dog
- You name your dog after a computer bug
- Wearing of a fanny-pack which was on sale at The Gap
- Spend your nights getting freaky with bubble wrap
- You become whiter than sour cream
- You joined the AV club, Glee club, and even the Chess team
- Confusion when it comes to who you like better: Captain Kirk or Captain Picard
- Spending too much time at the Renaissance Faire
- Printed your name on your underwear
- Imitating the Star Wars Kid with a plastic lightsaber
- knowing every line of every star wars film
- having every figure of the stars war films
- have tickets for a convention about stuff that every other people would class as nerdy
It is unclear how White & Nerdy Syndrome is spread, though some experts think it may be caused by over-exposure to school or cheese. Perhaps by learning too much Computer Science or hanging around with your geek and nerd friends too much. Even more experts claim that it is based on Wikiphrenia and might be caught by editing web sites such as Wiki sites like Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia, and other sites like Slashdot, etc. Even African-Americans can become too white and nerdy via the Steve Urkel version of this syndrome.
As it seems many people in a close-knit group of friends tend to develop the syndrome not long after their friends, it is suggested that people with these symptoms should be quarantined, meaning alienated. If you see someone suffering these horrifying symptoms, run away screaming, laugh at them, phone the police and fire brigade or politely direct them to a group of other sufferers. There is no known cure for White And Nerdy Syndrome, however it has been suggested that large amounts of Chamillionaire along with more rap music and incredibly obnoxious behaviour can prevent the syndrome spreading to you. Apparently stupid people seem to be immune to this syndrome, so try to prevent yourself from gaining too much knowledge in geeky and nerdy things. Remember that people suffering from this syndrome are misfits and outcasts of society and culture and deserve to get a wedgie should you happen to meet one of them.
Weird Al Yankovic
Probably the most famous sufferer or WAN Syndrome brought it to public attention with his song of the same name. Al's tune dealt with his overcoming desire to play with the other children in th' hood, only to be stopped by the fact that their parents knew of "Weird"'s condition and disallowed them to play with Yancovic.
In response to the song, several WANS sufferers rose up against Wikipedia and it's cold approach to them by telling them that "They sucked". This happened so many times Wikipedia eventually had to lock their pages for anonymous users. Then people started registering to Wikipedia to tell them they sucked! In response, Wikipedia kept all newly-registered users from editing, only to then have sensitized frequent users write "YOU SUCK!" on every page dealing with the disease. Eventually the Nazipedian Sideways deleted every WANS-related article and rewrote them in digital-concrete so only he could edit, then blanked his own memory so that he wouldn't be tempted to.
Then the vandals came to Uncyclopedia, but as soon as people started screwing around there, someone posted up a crappy "YOU SUCK!" shrine so that the more idiotic users wouldn't have to deal with another halfassed 1-line-minus article.
With no other alternative the vengeful WANSies ventured to Encyclopedia Dramatica, only to find that everything on the site was already like that.
The White and Nerdy people finally found a place to call home.