White History Year

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Founded by Patrick Henry in colonial times, White History Year is the other 11 months out of the year. During White History Year, white people celebrate their heritage and the many things they have achieved.

Here are some White History Year facts:

• George Washington was the inventor of the U.S. presidency. He became the first president, paving the way for other middle-aged and elderly rich white men to become president. So far there has not been a president who's been any other race! YAY!

• The first man to land on the moon was Neil Armstrong. He was white.

• Sir Isaac Newton discovered gravity. He was white.

• A white man invented fun. And laughter.

• Galileo invented the telescope. He was white.

• Albert Einstein assisted the creation of the atomic bomb. He was white.

• Martha Stewart gave new meaning to the word bitch. She too was white.

• While not all white people are rich, virtually all rich people are white.

• Although not as good as their black sucessors, white people invented stand-up comedy.

• Thomas Jefferson promoted equality among the races, despite the fact that he owned slaves and fathered several children with one of them.

• White people are the only race living in America that are considered a majority.

• White people are the only race living in America that didn't suffer hard times in the past (except with the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, and the Great #### Epidemic).

• White people love you.

• There are several organizations for whites much like the NAACP for blacks. Often, they are referred to by the acronym KKK. These include the Kool Krazy Kids and the Kenny Kuhn Klan.

• White people are the only race that can have blue eyes and blonde hair. Lucky... They're also the only race that can get freckles, sunburnt, and blush. Haha... See, everything is fair in the end!

• A racial bias exists in the white community against people who look and act too white. In spite of obvious cancer-causing methods, like tanning beds, many whites try to pass as darker skinned individuals by getting and maintaining a tan. Housing discrimination, pay gaps and health care inequities exist among the white, whiter and whitest individuals. {See Michael Jackson)

• In spite of the success of such music luminaries as Debbie Harry, Vanilla Ice and Eminem, white people can't perform rap music to save their lives.

• There's a reason the president's home in Washington, DC is called The White House.

• White people invented rock 'n roll in the 1950s despite what "facts" might "prove."

• Contrary to popular belief, "The Roots" was directed, and acted, by an all-white cast.

• White cats can't jump and they drive all-like this (hand gesture)

• Chuck Norris, and every one else who matters, is and was white

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