White trash

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An article from the White Trash Times.


White trash is the opposite of black trash, but contrary to popular misconception has nothing to do with racism, bad redneck jokes or socio-economic class distinctions. Recent studies have shown the prominence of white trash to be much higher than once thought, with an estimated 46% of all Caucasians in the United States now fitting the bill exquisitely.

Origin[edit]

The term white trash originated during the reign of Pope Linus, and his consort Pope Charlie Brown and was made popular by Pope Anacletus. In 64 A.S.E. (the Anti Semitic Era), the cultish College of Cardinals gathered at Woodstock, New York for the most famous papal singing competition of its era. With extraterrestrial Ryan Seacrest as the event host, popes cast their ballots by text messaging, which included scribing their choices on sheets of papyrus dusted with an odd white powdery substance. After the white powder was snorted and the ballots were read in secret, the group gathered around the fireplace and burned the pieces of papyrus, because they were no longer needed. If there was no clear winner of the election, the smoke coming from the chimney would be black, hence the term black trash. If a Pope had been elected, everyone would hear Clay Aiken scream like a little girl, hence the term white trash, or if you prefer, "Whiskey Tango".

Before the 1960's white trashites were mainly members of nomadic tribes ranging throughout the southern United States. However, as the conservative 1960's changed into the 'Sixties' we remember the white trash tribe members felt encroached upon and a need to retaliate. On June 1st, 1963 the white trash chieftains met at what is now known as the 'We Hate Everyone Except Us Conference'.

Here the white trash tribes people were joined under a single leader, Cletus Jo-Bob. Cletus Jo-Bob united the white trash tribes under his fascist regime, into the White Trash Nation. Little is known about the White trash nation until 1967. In 1967 the forces of the White Trash Nation made a grab for the capitol of the United States. Marching up through Virginia their army was beaten back by the far superior forces of the Black Panthers (That being one of the only times the Black Panthers cooperated with the United States government. Heavy emplacement were dug in twisting line stretching from Charleston, South Carolina to about 85 miles past Mobile, Alabama. After the assassination of John F. Kennedy by White Trash sympathizer Lee Harvey Oswald and a supposed multitude of other assailants the government took a new directive. The government tried to draw the peoples attention away from the dangerous threat of the White Trash Nation with the Vietnam War.The United States Government made a peace agreement by allowing a person of white trash descent, Jimmy Carter,into the white house. Then came the Reagan era, with the Cold War intensifying the United States had to make an example of someone to scare the commies. Looking over the long list of American enemies, Reagan found the White Trash Nation. President Reagan had long harbored a hate for any White Trash as he was bit by one as a small child. This deep seated hatred lead to Operation White Sauce. Unsatisfied just killing of white trashites Reagan began his cruel crusade.

The First casualty of Operation White Sauce was Bod Yodleson. Bo Yodleson was the fascist leader that took power after Cletus Jo-Bob's daughter and successor, Queen Mary Jeen, was jailed for not marrying her son/brother, Bo Jo-Bob. He was assassinate while watching a Greased pig wrestling match. Bo Yodleson's funeral convaoy was strafed multiple times by unmarked aircraft, (The handful of survivors ,when shown pictures, swore the planes were A-10 Thunderbolts)this killed most of the line of succession to the White trash throne and the highest ranking officers in the White Trash Military. After that event came one of the most vigorous bombing missions the United States had ever launched.Firebombing the heavily planted parts of the White Trash Nation and the swamps along its coastline devestated the local ecosystem causing a jump by 300% in misquito populations in the the White Trash Nation("We'll have to keep that in mind"- Reagan).In other parts of this fire-bombing campaign more than 15,000 McDonalds were destroyed, 45,000 KFC's were laid waist too, and over 1,500,000 distribution center of Cheetos and Coca-Cola. Wiyh such a lack of foods essential to the white trash diet the extreme hunger that followed is considered the Irish potato famine of the White trash people. It is unknown how many citizens of the White Trash Nation died but it is known that no one cared. The White Trash Nation so crushed by mosquitoes, lack of fried food, and fire, fell and was once again fully controlled by the United States Government.

Descendant of the proud White Trash race still linger in the Southern United States. Texas has become a gathering ground for Neo-White Trash and White Trash Sympathizers. If you ever here a white person say "ya'll" Notify your local White Trash watch station.

And example of white trash polluting our nation's rivers.

Association with Trailers, and occasionally their trash[edit]

This form of White Trash (see redneck) housing can be very very very berry dangerous. People living in these "homes" sometimes attempt to cease being trash, but do not realize that it's a ga' dammed trailer. Still high life is reachable. There have been attempts at trailer "mansions" and "palaces" which seem to make them think that. Most of these can be even more berry dangerous than the trailers alone (see incest). The common saying, documented by a survivor of the last last crusade, "Two heads are better than one" still echos in the halls of these 'palaces.' Please refrain from being stoopid and call your local gangs if any of these are spotted.

Areas of known White Trash Culture[edit]

People of the White Trash race are found Pretty much everywhere in the United States that's not New England or Hawaii. The White Trash Culture has also started expansion in coordination withThe The McDonalds Empire

See also[edit]

External links[edit]