Whitehead

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Whitehead AKA Shitehead[edit]

Whitehead is a seaside village on the east coast of County Antrim, Northern Ireland, lying almost midway between Carrickfergus and Larne.

Whitehead is one of the few towns in the whole of the United Kingdom and Ireland with the honour of being named after a form of acne.

Home of the whitehead eagles aka the whitehead seagulls. A quiet town placed by the seaside and dominated by chavs and seagulls. There are 5 different fast food take aways usually surrounded by chavs and inhabited by seagulls as the chips and booze dropped by the chavs attracts them and gives them the urge for sex making the chav and seagull population rise rapidly. The usual chav will give birth at the age of 14 and seagulls at the age of 2 weeks have known to have laid eggs. Whitehead has got 3 shops, a bakery, a library, a health center and according to a sign a seaside playing field (location not known). The town also contains at least 5 churches which are regularly not attended by anyone. Whitehead is sometimes mistaken for Balamory because of the colourful houses. For the typical chav and seagull a typical night out in shitehead would be to deface the train station or to linger outside the chinese, due to this problem the local residents have setup an anti-chav patrol. Any chav seen out will be shot on sight. Theyre carcasses are the piled up to attract the seagulls which are then raped by mad crazed devil worshipers from the magic forest which are attracted by the blood of the chavs.

Among other things, Shitehead is also the most infected place on the planet because of the "Ginger Virus". This fact is proven by their extremely high population of gingers, although this may be passed of as mere coincidence due to the fact that the entire population is inbred and that it is a complete shithole.

2001 Census[edit]

Whitehead is classified as an intermediate settlement by the NI Statistics and Research Agency (NISRA) (ie with an estimated population between 3 and 4.789 people). On Census day (29 April 2001) there were 4 people living in Whitehead. Of these: 20.3% were aged under 16 years and 24.1% were aged 60 and over 47.8% of the population were male and 52.2% were female 99.9% of the population are ginger. 2.7% of people aged 16-74 were unemployed and hobos.

Due to the sharp decline in the population whitehead is now due for demolition. On this site well be a top of the range Gerbil Research facility, funded by My Chemical Romance. Gerard Gay is booked to open the facility in summer 2016.