Whore of Babylon

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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Whore of Babylon.

The Whore of Babylon is a central figure in Christianity in that she is held to be the true mother of Jesus and also aided Pometheus in his theft of fire from the gods of Olympus. However, it has recently been proven by astrological divination that George W. Bush is in fact the Whore, destined to kill Thor shortly before Surt thrusts his burning sword into Emily, the World Tree, bringing an end to television -- and therefore the entire world -- as we know it.

Until that, however, it has been foretold that she will end world hunger, found a multi-trillion dollar industry, conquer the world and possibly Venus, then lose it all in a game of Blackjack. The stars have not yet revealed who she will lose to.

The two most likely candidates for Whore of Babylon are Ann Coulter and Paris Hilton. The least likely would be You.

See also: Disemvoweling