A Winkleberry Bob is a new classification of animal, they are unique in being the only animal to have seven legs. They were discovered by some random guy called Bob, there are currently 71 known species, but the list grows daily. They are very strange in that they have 7 legs. The way to recognize them is: they have 7 legs
- 1 Andy Pandy
- 2 Onomatopoea
- 3 Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii
- 4 Poklikjkujnb
- 5 Extra Crispy Photojuice
- 6 Eeeeeevil Weevil!
- 7 Thingamajigawhatjimycallitybob
- 8 How Now Brown Cow
- 9 Bananapiechocolatecheesefishgravychewbaccasasquatch
- 10 Flying Chipmunk
- 11 Elven Fishmonger
- 12 Spigniforant Whittleweed
- 13 Niggly Norman
- 14 Poppawoffle
- 15 Cabbagehaggler
- 16 Hanky PPanky
- 17 The remaining 55 Winkleberry Bobs
- 18 A random note
The Andy Pandy has an annoying habit of turning itself inside out randomly and combusting 2 seconds later. It lives somewhere in space and eats turrrrrrrrrnips. Its legs are bizzarely invisible.
What to do if you see one
If you do happen to see one you should play fir elise on a beef shield, contrary to popular belief it is not advisable to rub a cat up and down your left arm, as this only worsens the situation, especially if it is a nun encrusted cat, another thing you should never do is jump up and down like a distressed crisp packet, as this makes you look like an ornamental clown.
The Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii does not contain the most eyes but the most i's. It eats Poklikjkujnbs and lives in China, however it has also been found in parts of China. It is very rarely seen in China. Its legs are sometimes chopped off to make it look like a fish and it is then sold for £34.89, however this is illegal and the punishment is being forced to eat an Extra Crispy Photojuice
This bizzare creature has 3001 noses, each 365 feet long. It eats honey-filled squeezable sauce bottles through its noses and syringes through its feet. It lives in strange parallel universes contained inside peas.
Extra Crispy Photojuice
The Extra Crispy Photojuice is very mouldy and has a slice of DVDmilk secreted inside its middle nostril which is covered in cabbagefaces. It lives on the complete opposite side of the universe from Norway because it is allergic to it. It eats slices of cheese nailed to pieces of toast.
The Thingamajigawhatjimycallitybob has a tendency to say: "Why does a rabbit wear socks on it's ears?" and if no-one replies it says: "Because it doesn't like beans!" it lives on Pluto and eats Pluto.
How Now Brown Cow
The How Now Brown Cow has half an arm. It lives in the island of beans and eats it's own face
Keeping a How Now Brown Cow as a pet
Many people and chickens have been known to have pet How Now Brown Cows, which can be bought from either Battersea How Now Brown Cows home or How Now Brown Cows 'R' us
- In the UK Most How Now Brown Cow's range from 2-5p However some have been known to cost up to 10p!(prices never go lower than 2p) The best place to go to for the cheapest offers is How Now Brown Cow's 'R' us.
- In Japan Generally How Now Brown Cow's are approximately ¥10 if purchased fresh at the market, and are often available in various ramen shops (usually still kicking)
- In the US Due to the cost of importation How Now Brown Cow's are known to cost much more in the US ranging anywhere from $20-$62.12
- In Norway According to How Now Brown Cow buyers weekly, this is the cheapest place to go to if you want a How Now Brown Cow as they are only 0.10 Kroners each which is approximately equivalent to 1p ($0.02(¥1.50(€0.01)))
A good place to keep How Now Brown Cow's is in a glass cage from 1000000-2000000 degrees celsius. Coating the bottom of the cage with spaghetti hoops is a very good idea.
What not to do
- On no account should you play a sport with a How Now Brown Cow as it would cause it to explode and divide 12 by 3.
- Never look your How Now Brown Cow in the eye as this will cause it to turn into an inflatable kumquat.
- Most importantly, never let your How Now Brown Cow within 6 feet of anything Elmo-related because it will go crazy and dribble all over your cat
- If for some reason you decide you don't like your How Now Brown Cow, dispose of it properly, by putting it in a paper shredder and then burning it's shiny, golden, rabbit-shaped remains, never, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, attempt to sell, bin, or kill your How Now Brown Cow in any other way as this will cause it to turn into a Grue and it will murder you viciously, unless you manage to kill it with extreme sarcasm, or bad grammar, or something, but you will probably die before you have chance to do any of these things, unless you speak Italian for a while.
This Winkleberry Bob is undoubtedly the most elfy in the world, it eats the letter f and lives on a huge camel with 3 eyes.
The Flying Chipmunk slightly resembles George Bush. It eats train tickets and lives in a candle somewhere.
The Elven Fishmonger is green and has 3 eyes. It's face has often been described as being mouldy. In it's spare time, it likes to toast revolting fissile uranium samples.
The Spigniforant Whittleweed lives in cake, it eats anything over 13 feet tall, because 13 is (wrongly accused of being) an unlucky number, all Spigniforant Whittleweeds must be mauled by at least 3 34-and-a-half legged mutated giant green carrots before it dies.
There is only one Niggly Norman in existence, It is widely accepted as the greatest Winkleberry Bob ever, It can not be killed by anything, even Grues.
(Do not use the Niggly Norman as defence from a Grue, it cannot kill Grues, it just cannot be killed by them, and if you do use it as a defence, it will turn into a huge puddle of Weaselpudge, which is very bad because the Weaselpudge will cover you, and Weaselpudge causes cancer, and excessive limbs).
The Poppawoffle is very often missspelled as Poppawaffle, however this is actually a way of cooking eggs. It has a very wide mouth which allows it to eat sharks. It hunts stick people for sport and every Poppawoffle in existence lives in a huge house somewhere up in the clouds.
This Winkleberry Bob is now extinct. Before it died it ate the noses of dead chickens. There have been rumours of there being one Poppawoffle that survived the huge massacre, but some argue that it is just a 6-foot living piano with 7 legs
The remaining 55 Winkleberry Bobs
cannot be named or described on the internet.
A random note
Donkeys are evil.