Wisdom
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[edit] What in the haystack is it, exactly?
Wisdom is the ability to actually think outside of the box and avoid laughing at shows like blue collar TV.
Unfortunately most people can't think outside of the box, because they're all pussies.
[edit] Oh sorry, it's just that I thought this article was going to be more mindless psychological rhetoric on 'intelligence' and 'knowledge' and the correlation between the two...
Yah well... it's not. Know why?
Because it is really the ability to recognize that it is not only knowledge, but awareness, creativity, imagination and 'wittyness'. It's independant thought, which in high school would get you royally fucked up a locker because you lack in other traits like charisma even though you know that the in-crowd are all pussies inside. In fact, it really is too bad that scientists aren't studying more into wisdom, because if they did, we probably would've discovered telepathy by now.
Although, such a trait as wisdom, even though it helps your will saving throws, is mostly useless unless you decide to learn and practice that which you have discerned that you must learn in order to be highly successful like crazy, which'd suck even more upon having the realized fact embedded in your psyche day in and day out. You know that you gotta work to get anywhere in life, but you just don't want to, because your lazy. And yet you got all this wisdom that you don't know what to do with! It's a bad situation, but meh, that's life.
[edit] History
Notable figures in history that are highly unwise:
- Captain Oblivious
- Captain Obvious
- James Blunt
- Paris Hilton
- Your psychologist who prescribed you ritalin
- MTV
- Everyone who has ever been on Big Brother
- Oprah
- Notable wash outs such as MJ
- Every crook on cops
- People who make any kind of reference to celebrities in order to stir up conversation
- Emos
- Your mom
- Really really really hot chicks (particularly gymnasts who dedicate themselves to one thing, but also study because their parents are hard on them)
- People with overloaded schedules who get easily bored otherwise
- People who are easily bored
- People with autism
- The Jack Ass guys
- The people who try this at home
- Major investors/movers/shakers/politicians
- Really big monopolizing banks
- Douchebags in New Jersey who hit on your girl friend
- Douchebag Mcgee (he fails to realize that he is the douche-baggiest of all)
I'll leave you to figure out the rest for yourself. And who knows, with this toolkit of an article, maybe you will find someone to identify with.
Notably Wise Figures in History:
- The Flying Spaghetti Monster
- Comedians who are actually funny
- Stephen Colbert
- Jon Stewart
- The Jack Ass guys (who knows, maybe some of them know just the right way to show off and prove how truly cool they are)
- Yoda
- Morpheus
- Buddha
- Cryptic Assholes
- Writers
- Poets
- People who use dense metaphors
- Anyone who gets called a wiseguy (if someone says to you, "What are you some kind of a wiseguy or somethin', eh?", then it's a gregarious complement!)
- Anyone who realises this article has potential for not being redirected to an article on knowledge, so that they will hopefully add to this
[edit] But is Wisdom Right for Me?
Well, of course! Well, I mean it could be... Or maybe not. If you took the time to notice, you'd realize that a lot, if not most, or perhaps all unwise people are extremely successful in life. Although, unfortunately, if you were able to note that all by yourself, then you have some wisdom already in which case it'd be hard to turn back because having wisdom can be addictive. Like heroine. Therefore wisdom is heroine. And thus bad for you. But it's too late now, because realizing all this has given you more wisdom! You will never be able to close your eyes and focus on single goals! You will be too distracted by imagination, clear judgement and scenario analysis! It's too late for you. Chances are you will be lazy.
Now you know why all wise figures in fiction and movies either meditate on rocks (AKA doing absolutely nothing out of wisdom induced laziness) or sit still. They're too occupied with other things within their own head to take initiative. Eventually, the wisdom drug becomes such that they feel they can convince others to do work for them. Arrogance sets in. And then complete downfall, the only thing they can offer to the world being the utterance of wise sayings. Ghandi himself declared poverty because he realised that poor need not have responsibility (it was also a quick way to cheat himself out of inevitable book keeping jobs like accounting when your a political leader for a nation).
[edit] So what has been Certified?
That wisdom is a virus and it must be eliminated! Close your eyes before it's too late! Or don't read this article! Or both! If by closing your eyes you can reassure yourself that you are not reading this article because your eyes are closed and therefor you can't see so... you get the point.
[edit] Uhm... Ok.
But you must realize of course that the point specifically of which I've laid out is something you should avoid understanding! You should avoid everything I said altogether in fact, because otherwise it might induce wisdom in you, which is of course bad if you've been paying attention (which you shouldn't be).
[edit] Should I be going now?
Yes. Double yes. Triple yes, in fact. Just please do not forget that if you have the wisdom to realize that wisdom is bad because it creates a slacker culture among the societies of man, then close your eyes. Now close this window. And forget everything. Pray that you won't happen upon here thereafter!
[edit] Alright dude, I'm outta here.
Of course, of course! Right away, but remember! Remember these words upon which thine eyes have marred with, young grasshopper! Wait, shit I mean...
- *tears out eyes*
[edit] I really should be going.
Perhaps that would be wisest. I'll just sit here and bleed to death in my blind state, then.
[edit] Leaving now.
Ok, but try not to remember what I've told you. It's all mindless psychological rhetoric anyway.
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