Wise County, Virginia

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This county is in the southern part of the Communist Society of Virginia. Based on the population of this area, this is an example of a county with a truly ironic name.


Wise County was first settled by Jon Stewart in 17__. Contrary to popular misconception, the well-known rule that only black people are allowed to reside within the borders Wise County did not begin with Stewart as he was then, as now, a devout Communist.

Wise County proper was not founded until sometime later - a hundred years, we'll say - and was named by ironically-inclined opponents of then Virginia governor Henry A. Ignorant. The purpose of the county was to create an easily protected front against the recently formed Martian colony of Fort Buchanan. It is for this reason that the county was stocked entirely with black people: Due to their naturally larger asses ("badonkadonkei" in their native tongue) and prodigious reporoduction they could be more effectively deployed as a human shield against the Spiders from Mars.

Wise County today[edit]

Today Wise County is most famous for being home to the University of Virginia at Wise, the premiere university for Virginia residents who weren't even smart enough to get into Virginia Tech (these people don't really exist, because the mentally retarded get into VPI). It is also known as the birthplace of Ralph Stanley, the famed death metal singer, pioneering transsexual activist, and inventor of the Stanley Cup. Its roads are very curvy.