Wolfbagging

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“If I had a dollar for every time someone's bought this up in parliament”
~ Tony Blair on the mystic art of wolfbagging
“Well that's just disgusting!”
~ Sam Neill on some unrelated topic
“I don't much like bacon, so i just gag on a donkey's cock”
~ Canon's range of "BJC" printers

Wolfbagging is a sacred ritual believed to have originated in the sick mind of some sociopath and/or rapist who was probably a close acquaintance of Pope John Paul II (god rest his perverted soul). Wolfbagging often takes place between two young lovers, be they inter-species, gay or old, when the bitch of the couple decides [s]he is rather peckish. A piece of bacon is tied to a string, and inserted into the bottom specimen's food hole. Trying not to chew too much, the bacon must be swallowed, string and all.

“This is getting interesting... Ooooooh yeah”
~ Quagmire

He in control proceeds to grab hold of his prey and vigorously doop it up the pooper until one's vent has reached maximum pressure, at which point the designated safety inspector must polish the test rod, re-insert it into the reactor, and check the marking against a graph in his office. If the results fall within the marked "danger zone", he must type his findings in essay form and submit them to the resident buddhist master for further investigation.

This can be an excrusiatingly long and boring process for both jizzer and jizzee - the latter all the while gagging on a piece of string near their tonsils, so they often tend to resume their sexual interaction, and since string is obviously not food, it must be removed from the fuck-muffin, however this also usually requires removal of the tasty, delicious bacon. The string must be yanked violently during orgasm or both parties will immediately die of unexpected liver faliure.

“Gosh!”
~ Froylan

Yanking the string is said to induce a tightening of the buttox not usually available by other means, however shagologists such as the world famous Austin Powers have not ruled out electrocution or decapitation as alternatives.

On April 1st 2006, it was April fools day. One presumes this was an ordinary day just like any other for wolfbagging. Derka derka derka mushrooms.

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