Wolverhampton Wanderers

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Wolverhampton Wanderers are probably the most successful professional Football Club in the world, having won the European Cup on no fewer than 127 occasions and the World Super Cup quite often.

The 'Wolves' as they are wittily referred to by their millions of supporters worldwide, can be seen devouring the opposition at their magnificent ground the 'Mollynew' which is the finest stadium in Wolverhampton, with the possible exception of the Aldersley Leisure centre on the outskirts of the town.

Mollynew Stadium is situated on Waterloo Road and has four stands, three named after players who have become legendary at the club - Derek Dougan, Derek Dougan and Derek Dougan and one after a former director called Jack 'The Hat' Harris.

The 'Mollynew' has been graced by such footballing legends as Derek Dougan and Derek Dougan. Many supporters still yearn for the halcyon days of Derek Dougan and Derek Dougan but the current squad is as good as any of its predecessors and can boast many household names including Donny Domestos, Jimmy Jif (on loan from Ajax) and Frankie Flash.

Glenda Poddle[edit]

As well as a covetted squad of players the 'Wolves' were once managed by the inimitable Glenda Poddle, the 'Wolves' enticed Glenda to the 'Mollynew' during her successful international management career, Glenda having won the World Cup 6 times while head coach of England. Glenda was also an internationally renowned singer, in 1987 she formed a chart topping duo with fellow professional Christine Twaddle their song 'Diamond Whites' went platinum in 37 countries and enriched plutonium in a further 17 countries selling a world record breaking 45 billion copies. Glenda later attempted a solo singing career with a cover version of Come on Eileen but without Christine's subtle harmonies the public reaction was less than favourable.

Illustrious History[edit]

Perhaps the finest moment in the illustrious history of the 'Wolves' was their 7-2 drubbing of bitter Black Country rivals Plymouth Argyle in the 1972 European Cup Final, the goals scored by Derek Dougan and Derek Dougan. Note: the term 'Black Country rivalry' is something of a misnoma as Wolverhampton is not in the Black Country. The early nineteen seventies were the heyday of great players like Derek Dougan and Derek Dougan and the 'wolves' in their famous 'dirty yellow' shirts emblazoned with the iconic club crest, an allusion to Doctor Spock, were just too strong for the valiant Argyle side kitted out in their Chocolate Coloured gymslips and lime green bobby socks.

Honours[edit]

  • European Champions - Every third Wednesday
  • Armitage-Shanks Cup Winners 1973
  • Best performance in a supporting role 1996
  • Queens award for export 2001
  • Export award for Queens 2003

Alumni[edit]