Woodstock

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Woodstock or Stoner Christmas is the one time of year that potheads, acidheads, and the occasional meth-addict get to huff their kittens in peace. This holiday is held for three smokey days. The day after it's over, August 18, is the best day for convenience stores, since munchie craving potheads ravage the streets for cheetos and haagen dasz ice cream.

[edit] History

This holiday is celebrated, because a man named max yasgur became Jimsonweed's sex slave for three days. It is said that Jimsonweed did this, because max yasgur was the most grumpy cop ever, always taking peoples sacks. He wanted to help him, and he was pretty horney at the time, too. Some say max's heart(and Jimsonweed's hard-on)grew three sizes those days.After, Jimsonweed made Jamaica and ate some munchies, which is what he does for the other 362 days in the year. Much better than santa, who BEATS and RAPES his elves, i might add!

[edit] Festivities

It is celebrated on August 15-17 starting at 4:20 each day(since that's when Jimsonweed bust). The usual ritual for celebration is to get your entire family and a hukkah with your choice of pipes and to continue to smoke your brains out until the holiday is over. You may do other drugs or huff kittens if you wish, but you must always start with weed, since it was the first drug Jimsonweed made. BE CAREFUL THOUGH!!! There have been 0 reported deaths! 0!!! That totally makes weed a drug!^{[citation needed]}

[edit] Reindeer

File:Bob marley.jpg

Jimsonweed has 4 reindeer.

Willie Nelson- The original reindeer. He has been alive long enough to see when weed was legal.

Cheech & Chong- Conjoined twins. Chong was actually born 8 years before Cheech, but Cheech was so high as an embryo, it took him 8 years to move. Its mom always wondered why Chong just hung there.

Jimi Hendrix- The first to experiment with other drugs. He tried so many one time, Jimsonweed granted him the power of unbelievable guitar-playing skills, one year of woodstock.

Bob Marley- Probably the most important reindeer. He spread around rastafarianism and reggae, Jimsonweed's religion and favorite style of music. He was also born on Jimsonweeds' getaway island, Jamaica.