Wootties often pronounced WoOOoOOooOTTTTiiiiesssss likes to take up the shape of a nice friendly chew chew train and go WOOO WOOO as he travels peacefully along the nice cobbled streets of Plutonia.
Wootties, How can one describe a man of so much consistency, a man with so much width and so much depth, a man so dense he exerts his own gravitational field. The hindrance to scientific discovery in geophysics as his mass destroy whole data sets. He is a menace once described as relic something so old, time its self can't remember where he started and man so predated that god himself couldn't even remember where he came from. Was it the froth of nothingness that spawn such a useless yet vital component of the universe or was it the devil him self or is he indeed god
One theory for his exsistance is that he started life out as a huge pile of dust flying aimless around the solar system during its formation for several million years. He eventually landed on earth where he was buried for 4 billion years until the advent of humanity and - following a form of evolution similar to that experienced by Pokemon - turned himself into a large bear. He enjoyed the quiet life for several hundread thousand years and spent the years fishing and rolling off cliffs. He eventually found a friendly T-Rex going by the name of octopussy whom he passed the hours gazing at the stars until one day, one of these stars landed and wiped out the dinosaurs! Following this object thats gravity is greater than its mass he buried himself again for several million years and became a Blue Whale.
Meanwhile a more simple theory is to claim since the Earths creation some 4 billion years ago he has managed to assume the form of most animals, regardless of the geological period. For instance he spent the last ice age in the form of a ninja who flipped out regually and killed glaciers causing rapid warming,
Little of his family has been known, if it truly exists, but in recent years there have been reports of a fiery demon under the name of Fruit Cake. He doesn't assume a physical form as such; instead he embodies the experience of discovering 90,000 units of spy ware on your computer system and having no idea how it got there, or when you boot your computer up only to find that your hard drive has failed. Fruit Cake is accredited for the creation of MSN (AKA Massive Spamming Network) creating useful programs for beginners like the Killer Scroller. We did manage to get in contact with Fruit Cake using ICQ and all he had to say is this:
Oh my goodness I like Spam, I do say that I do own Liquid, Fear me human for I have stupendeous ability at dazzaling you with my hot key functions
True to his name this message was repeated 263,539 times along with 345,530,324 items of spyware that we are currently in the process of removing. This was the least of our problems for we promptly received 23 invitations from complete strangers asking us what we ate last tuesday. ICQ may well have been a creation of Fruit Cake it is afterall a perfect example of another spamming network.
Wrath of Wootties
Few have seen the awesome powers of the wootties but documented through out time in the geological record of my best mate's, girlfriend's car we can see evidence of a mighty flood that befouled the land. How it began few can tell, one theory is than an equally massive body offer him a drink poisoning it with his corruption and angering the wootties so greatly that a flood was required to expel the poison, other say he just drank too much that night, but i truly believe there is a far greater reason one beyond are understanding of space and time. But it was truly gruesome day for man kind one that has been a hanging stench for many weeks, but infact for all eternity as the smell extends forward in time as much at it extends backward. Truly a example of the repercussions of a Wootties made disaster