World War 0

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World War 0, commonly referred to as the War in G Major, is the official name given to the war fought between Tchaikovsky and America. A series of tapes under the title "Tchaikovsky Discovers America" chronicles the beginning through end of the twelve year war fought over the great lamma farms of the west coast. Soon after the young Bruce Campbell set out in taking over the land promised to his people, Middle-Earth Slightly to the Right, there took place an event that had never before occurred in history, and has never occurred since, that would set the gameboard and the pieces much like an hour long game of Jenga, and so World War 0 began.

The Shadow of War Falls: The Composer's Revolution[edit]

In the late 1730's stocks being placed in independent composer's affairs and the CUU (Composer's Union of Europe) were decreasing rapidly, leaving such great composers as the late Obiwan Kenobi and Beethoven resorting to hermitism in the upstairs of children's houses and cave dwellings on the planet Tatooine. Middle-Earth was sent toppling into an age of turmoil, much as an hour long game of Jenga ends. Brimstone flew, fire spewed, people died... This was the Romantic Era.

Beethoven Lives Upstairs, the movie best known for chronicling this dark time in Middle-Earth's history, is a coming of age story about a boy who discovers the once great composer Beethoven lives in his attic. But he has become a twisted and demented thing that lives off the meager life force provided to him by The One Ring. Later investigations into this time era reveal that Beethoven mugged his friend to receive The One Ring during a fishing trip, and that the young boy that discovered him in the attic set out on an adventure with numerous dwarves, elves, and humans to rescue Middle-Earth from the darkness of the dark lord Jackie Chan.

And so, frustrated composer's of Middle-Earth took a stand, not quite as tall as an hour long game of Jenga. But when they approached the ruler of the land, the-soon-to-be-pronounced-evil Jackie Chan, they discovered that the shadow had befallen all of Middle-Earth, and even Chan the Man could do nothing to stop it. It was explained to them that a depletion in llama oil, a valuable resource that residents of Middle-Earth depended on for such things as food, bathing, viewing of the great Jackie Chan cartoon series (soon to be pronounced an evil brainwashing technique), and twinkies, had left Middle-Earth in ruin. They were then thrown outside in a crumpled pile, much like an hour long game of Jenga which has been raped and pillaged by an barbarian horde ends.

But Tchaikovsky's Russian Senses told him there was more to this, and so he reassembled himself from the pile of composers, much as an ended game of Jenga does not.

Pyotr Tchaikovsky, son of Joseph: A Brief Synopsis[edit]

Although Tchaikovsky, fifth son of the house of Shi, which originated in the province Zwai, under the full moon of the Llama's Bread, bore a life greatly shrouded in mystery, mainly due to the mass scale of other events of the time -including the rising overlord Jackie Chan's sinister discovery of the modern balloon animal- the intrigue of the man's persona and his nack for starting wars makes him an ideal face to place upon your doormat.

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