Worst 100 Inventions of All Time

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100 April Fools Jokes
99 Colours
98 Creatures to have sex with
97 Firefox extensions
96 Foods
95 Gifts to give a friend
94 Harry Potter Spin-offs
93 Inventions
92 Locations
91 LOL Cats
90 Make Out Songs
89 Moments to get a Boner
88 Moments to Laugh
87 Money Making Schemes
86 Movies
85 Non-existent Words
84 Non-Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
83 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
82 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
81 Pick-up lines
80 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Porn Stars
78 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
77 Reasons to become a Christian
76 Reflections on 2005
75 Reflections on 2006
74 Reflections on 2007
73 Reflections on 2008
72 Reflections on 2009
71 Reflections on 2010
70 Reflections on 2011
69 Reflections on 2012
68 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
67 Remakes
66 Restaurants
65 Self Help Books
64 Sequels
63 Sexual Perversions
62 Short Poems
61 Sitcom Catchphrases
60 Songs
59 Songs about Seagulling
58 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
57 Songs To Have Sex To
56 Songs To Play At A Funeral
55 Spinoffs
54 Superheroes
53 Things About the '00s
52 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
51 Things to do during Christmas
50 Things to Put In An IV
49 Things To Say In Court
48 Things to Say in the Workplace
47 Things to say on a First Date
46 Toys
45 TV Programs
44 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43 Video Games of all time‎
42 Video Game Movies
41 Video Game Systems
40 Ways of Being a Dick
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die
35 Ways to Exercise
34 Ways to Fight a Crocodile
33 Ways to Fight a Dolphin
32 Ways to Fight a Duck
31 Ways to Fight a Frog
30 Ways to Fight a Jellyfish
29 Ways to Fight a Kangaroo
28 Ways to Fight a Lemur
27 Ways to Fight a Man
26 Ways to Fight a Penguin
25 Ways to Fight a Pirate
24 Ways to Fight a Platypus
23 Ways to Fight a Queen
22 Ways to Fight a Snake
21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
17 Ways to Fight an Alligator
16 Ways to Fight an Asian Elephant
15 Ways to Fight an Iguana
14 Ways to Fight an Ox
13 Ways to Fight an Ugly Animal
12 Ways to Get a Boyfriend
11 Ways to Get a Girlfriend
10 Ways to Hack a Computer
9 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras

“You bastards... You ungrateful bastards!”

Bob Dole claimed to have invented every invention on this page.

See also: Greatest Inventions
100. At Home Incontinence Test
Just place it down the back of your pants and wait 4 hours. If it turns brown...
99. Nasal Hair Curling Iron
When you want to look your best. Ouch! Feh!!!
98. Spandex
It looks great... on the right people... so why do only fat people wear it?
97. "Worst 100 List" Lists
For the love of Jebus, why?
96. The Spanish Inquisition
Nobody expected them, they may as well have stayed home.
95. Machine Gun
Not after what happened in World War I.
94. Solar Powered Flashlights
Unfortunately, it was only useful for peeking into dark holes while the sun was shining on the flashlight.
93. EC-Rated Video Games
So boring.
92. V-neck Cardigans
91. Dictatorship
The rulers become too corrupt. Adolf Hitler and Emperor Nero are examples.
90. Dandruff-fortified shampoo
Also available in strawberry flavour
89. Sound-activated Alarms
Once they go, they just keep on going.
88. Helicopter Ejection Seats
Chalk one up for the Belgians
87. Deep Sea Sushi Bars
How redundant can you get?
86. Language
Responsible for more bloody wars than anything else. He just kept talking in one incredibly long unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so nobody could interrupt him it was really quite hypnotic.
85. Submarine Screen Door
At least it keeps the fish out.
84. Orca Toys
Look much less fierce than the real things.
83. Portable Rucksacks
Rriighhhhttt, how more obvious can you get?
82. Brain Wash
When normal shampoo just doesn't cut it.
81. Plastic Surgery
Just look at Michael Jackson.
80. PETA
We have teeth designed to rip meat, which clearly means that animals are here for us to eat. End of Story.
79. Books on How To Read
You learn from books by reading them. However, if you can't read, you can't learn from books, so you can't learn to read by reading a book that tells how to read. Does this make any sense to you?
78. The Internet
77. Wikipedia
What an awful collection of utterly useless information. Someone needs to be held responsible for that monstrosity.
76. The Upside-down Upside-down Cake
It's a freakin' cake you idiots.
75. Software that emulates an unencyclopedia contributor that has no idea of the title of the article he is editing.
Yeah! This software is the BEST man!
74. Repeating numbers
Like someone took a big sloppy one and thought of doing this!
73. Correction fluid
If you white-out everything that's correct, you'll be left with nothing to read.
72. Myspace
A bunch of 15 year olds stealing pictures from Google and pretending it's themselves. Newsflash:Nobody believes you have a 9 inch penis.
71. Handicapped Accessable Web Sites
Why not add a wheelchair ramp, or a WAV file that says "Too bad you can't see this" ?
70. Spring Loaded Automatic Hamburger Flippers
Number one cause of house fires and burnt infants in America
69. The 69 Position
Who really wants a nose full of ass?
68. Boomerang Grenade
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
67. Fashion
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months."~ Oscar Wilde on Fashion
66. Zombies
Braaaaains!
65. Monoculturalism
Doesn't allow diversity.
64. The Hitler Moustache
The most sexually unappealing thing ever, yet it's immensely popular.
63. Motorcycle air conditioners.
Only effective while parked in garages.
On second thought, that doesn't even work...
62. Impact-activated parachute
Not so good in retrospect
61. Seatless chairlifts
Preservers of snowfields
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60. Spoon
For those of you who haven't seen one, its just a fork with no holes between the fingers. Nothing new or Nobel Prize worthy. There is no spoon.
59. The Wheel
The Egyptians got rid of it, but then someone re-invented the damn thing.
58. Mustard
So disgusting!
56. Humor
Thirteen years later and humor has yet to be funny.
55. Dolls
So stupid.
54. Soap Operas
Not once have they had anything to do with soap or the opera.
53. The Number 57
Ten bucks said you clicked on "Edit" before reading this.
52. Coffins
What a waste of space.
53. The Vegetarian Steakhouse
It's finger-lickin' good if you just give it a finger-lickin' chance!
52. Geographical Divisions
The cause of war and racism.
51. Student Government
Why act like students have power when they really don't?
50. Automobile
Overwhelmingly responsible for the majority of accidental deaths in the United States.
49. Factories
They pollute the air.
48. The inflatable dartboard
Good for only one game, if that game only has one player....... and one dart.
47. Encyclopædia Dramatica
Even worse than Wikipedia!
46. Books
Need I say more?
45. Beginnner guides
If I can't screw myself over for not seeing it, then your a terrorist.
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44. Black highlighter
Yes, it marks your text nicely, but you can't read what you marked!
43. The word 'dude'
Dude, it's like overused, radical G yo!!!
42. Death
The fictional character, that is.
41. Cookies
40. Heart surgery
39. Mayonaise
More disgusting than mustard!
38. Metric System
Who needs another way of measuring things?
37. Actor Awards
The movie is all that matters, not the actors.
36. The Big Crunch Theory
It's so unlikely that the universe will collapse into a singularity.
35. Number 36
34. People's sayings
"It's always in the last place you look" - Of course it fucking is, if you've already found it why would you keep looking for it?
33. Glass bottom boats
"Hey guys, how about we go out and sit in a boat that has a thin pane of glass built in the bottom so we can get a better look at bull and hammerhead sharks in their natural environment?- Note the names of the sharks.

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32. Digital Versatile Disk
It just goes round and round and round...Totally pointless.
31. Vulgar Slang
Just a bunch of bullshit that needs to piss off and should hump someone stupid.
30. Regular Show
Its regular that that a stupid TV show would be on this list.
29. The Number 29
Number 28 and 30 just wasn't good enough for you, huh? You just had to squeeze yourself in there, didn't you? You make me sick!
28. Fake Worst 100 lists that only go to 28 and no. 30.
What can I say about 30? Really.
27. The Art of Ninja
So annoying!
26. Dehydrated Water in a Bottle
Preparation and usage:simply add water and drink.

Hey No. 53.... you owe me ten bucks. I'll sue... just you wait

25. Skateboarding
You can crash and crack your tooth.
24. Coffee
Also bad for your teeth only it causes tooth decay this time.
23. Firestone Tires
22. Polar Star
The spur is infinitesimally better.
21. Barney the Dinosaur
This is exactly why you have mini-jihads sprouting up in your neighbourhood.
20. Factories
Too much air pollution.
24. Condoms
What's the point of having sex if you're not going to get a baby?
19. High heels
Lots of money for very little material whose sole (sorry) purpose is to inflict grevious wounds to the wearer, in turn inflicting grevious whining to the partner.
18. Fossil Fuels Car
NO! NOT FOSSIL FUELS!
17. The Wheel
Did you know that automobile fatalities have more than quintoopled since it's invention?
16. Automatic Pelican Waxer
15. Reuseable nuclear bomb.
This will detonate the nuclear bomb saving the shell which flies away and must be picked up. After that the user has to do is to put another load of explosive material in it to detonate it again.
14. Diet Coke
NOOOOO!
13. The Number 13
What's the point of this number, really? Ever seen a thirteenth floor? Q.E.D.
12. Suede raincoats
Self-explanatory, I trust.
11. Candles
They cause houses to be burnt.
10. Cell phones.
"HI! I'M IN A BUSY RESTAURANT! I'M YELLING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN HEAR ME JUST FINE! NOW I'M ON A BUS! NOW THE DRIVER JUST CRASHED AND IS BLAMING ME FOR DISTRACTING HIM! JEEZ, SOME PEOPLE ARE SO INCONSIDERATE!"
9. Julian Calendar
Way too outdated.
8. The Saying "O No You Didn't"
You saw me do it! Are you blind! By the way O No you didn't to No. 9
7. Lucky Number 7
What made it so special?
6. The "..."
Finish the freakin thought!
5. Dancing
Discos dead and you will be to if you keep that up.
4. Vaqndalism to Uncyclopedia
Just urghhhhhh *vomits*.
3. Racism
Race shouldn't affect your civil rights and liberties!
2. Sexism
Gender shouldn't affect your civil rights and liberties!
1. Religion
Causes too much war and death.

Honorable Mentions[edit]