Worst 100 Lists of All Time

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Worstlist.png
100 April Fools Jokes
99 Colours
98 Creatures to have sex with
97 Firefox extensions
96 Foods
95 Gifts to give a friend
94 Harry Potter Spin-offs
93 Inventions
92 Locations
91 LOL Cats
90 Make Out Songs
89 Moments to get a Boner
88 Moments to Laugh
87 Money Making Schemes
86 Movies
85 Non-existent Words
84 Non-Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
83 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
82 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
81 Pick-up lines
80 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Porn Stars
78 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
77 Reasons to become a Christian
76 Reflections on 2005
75 Reflections on 2006
74 Reflections on 2007
73 Reflections on 2008
72 Reflections on 2009
71 Reflections on 2010
70 Reflections on 2011
69 Reflections on 2012
68 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
67 Remakes
66 Restaurants
65 Self Help Books
64 Sequels
63 Sexual Perversions
62 Short Poems
61 Sitcom Catchphrases
60 Songs
59 Songs about Seagulling
58 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
57 Songs To Have Sex To
56 Songs To Play At A Funeral
55 Spinoffs
54 Superheroes
53 Things About the '00s
52 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
51 Things to do during Christmas
50 Things to Put In An IV
49 Things To Say In Court
48 Things to Say in the Workplace
47 Things to say on a First Date
46 Toys
45 TV Programs
44 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43 Video Games of all time‎
42 Video Game Movies
41 Video Game Systems
40 Ways of Being a Dick
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die
35 Ways to Exercise
34 Ways to Fight a Crocodile
33 Ways to Fight a Dolphin
32 Ways to Fight a Duck
31 Ways to Fight a Frog
30 Ways to Fight a Jellyfish
29 Ways to Fight a Kangaroo
28 Ways to Fight a Lemur
27 Ways to Fight a Man
26 Ways to Fight a Penguin
25 Ways to Fight a Pirate
24 Ways to Fight a Platypus
23 Ways to Fight a Queen
22 Ways to Fight a Snake
21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
17 Ways to Fight an Alligator
16 Ways to Fight an Asian Elephant
15 Ways to Fight an Iguana
14 Ways to Fight an Ox
13 Ways to Fight an Ugly Animal
12 Ways to Get a Boyfriend
11 Ways to Get a Girlfriend
10 Ways to Hack a Computer
9 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras

According to God's True Word, the following are the Worst 100[1] Lists ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

^ 1. God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticise divine numeration policy.

^ 2. Don't worry about it, it's a temporal paradox. Not even Steven Hawking gets this one.


100-91[edit]

Eric

100. Top Ten tasteless representations of your mum
every item on this list mentions Family Guy to some extent.
99. The Goth's Guide
A list of all the things that make you Gothic. This includes emo cutting, buying clothes at Hot Topic, and conceited, delusional fantasies about being "different" and "rebellious."
98. Names of nerds who suck really bad and are only pretending to be nerds
97. Things I've Had Sex With
Madonna made this list when asked just how big of a slut she was. It is one of the longest lists in all of known existence, and readers may feel compelled to gouge their eyes out.
96. Things that people write lists about
Dogs, Porn, other lists.....
95. List of Uncyclopedians who have never had an article featured on the front page
Seriously, if you can't manage our pathetic standard of humor, you must be some kind of brain-dead monkey. Well, a brain-dead monkey without internet access.
94. List of Things to do in Nebraska
There is nothing on this list, just like Nebraska.
93. Top 20 Gangsta Folk Songs
A little-known genre, this list featured such obscure gems as "Crack Rock Candy Mountain", "Li'l Brown Jug of Old English" and "John Henry Was A Steel-Drivin' Nigga."
92. Living Things Found Growing Inside Roseanne's Fat Folds
Includes several species once thought to be extinct.
91. Stains Found on the Back of Grandpa's Pants.

90-81[edit]

90. GameFAQs Counts Down the Top 5 Most Effeminate and Angsty Final Fantasy Villains with Silver Hair and Really Big Swords
For once, Sephiroth lost.
89. Worst Peanuts Specials
Features such animated abortions as Bestiality is Illegal, Charlie Brown and Come Out of the Closet, Charlie Brown, in which Peppermint Patty cynically explains what a "cleveland steamer" is.
88. MTV's Favorite Poseurs
A pop-punk and hip-hop extravaganza, co-hosted by Jessie Camp and Poochie the Rockin' Dog.
87. Best Genocides of All Time
A slaughtering good time!
86. Most Delicious Endangered Species
Pandas top the list.
85. 25 Best Midi Ringtones
"Crazy Frog" inexplicably didn't make the cut.
83. Lists that miss out numbers from the sequence
See what I did there?
82. My favourite Martians
Currently Marvin.
81. People who will find themselves with their backs against the wall come the revolution
Currently includes Bush, Blair, and Barney the Purple Dinosaur.

80-71[edit]

80. List of people who have been banned from the Internet
furries, trolls, porn-watchers, and the impolite. This list has everything!
79. List of things that are about other versions of the thing on the list
Books about authors, movies about movies, dreams within a dream, and lists about lists (or in this case, lists about lists about lists about lists[2]). Just looking at this list is enough to make you go insane. This list also begs the question of what would happen if an author wrote a book about himself writing a book; most reasonable scientists think that the Universe would explode, although several maintain that it would instead unsplode.
78. David Letterman's Top Ten Things to Stick Up Your Ass
A rejected Top Ten List on Late Night. They pulled it because there was a fear that somebody somewhere actually would stick something up their ass that was on the list. David himself was number seven.
77. 100 Worst Sheep Diseases
Compiled by a coalition of lonely New Zealander and Scottish farmers, syphilis, herpes, and gonorrhea all make a very disturbing appearance (quite literally, since the list included explicit photos).
76. Top Ten "Games" to Play at Uncyclopedia
Currently the "Delete other people's content" game is narrowly holding off the "7 degrees of separation" game.
75. Top 50 Jokes about the Holocaust
"How many Jews does it take," etc. etc.
74. Cool Reasons to be a Scientologist
The whole reason for the list is to distract you as they slip the mind serum into your drink. Tom Cruise and John Travolta prefer to wait until you reach number 4 on the list, "Cuz the book has a wicked volcano on the cover," then sneak behind you with a club as you're laughing hysterically.
73. Ice Cream Flavors organized by carb count
IT'S ICE CREAM, YOU HIPPIE BASTARDS!!! It's not supposed to be healthy or good for you. If you don't want to be fat or happy, go shove that carrot up your ass and be lean and bitter. I'm going on to my second tub of Chunky Monkey.
72. The All-Time Best Streaks of Mark Roberts
A list of the top streaks performed by the famed British streaker, Mark Roberts. The first one was funny, the rest are just-plain annoying.
71. My List of What To Do Today
I've had this thing for 3 years and I've never been able to bring myself around to completing anything on it. Its the "wake up and get out of bed" part that's screwing me up.

70-61[edit]

70. Worst 100 signatures of all time
El Barto they are not.
69, DUDE!. Worst 100 Crayola crayon colors of all time
If you thought "Prussian Blue" and "Flesh" were offensive, you haven't seen "French Yellow", "Vomit Gray", "Hemophilia Red", and "In Soviet Russia, picture colors BLUE!" from the limited edition Yakov Smirnoff Edition.
68. Worst 100 genital tattoos of all time
67. 100 Best Practical Jokes Involving Sulfuric Acid
66. 100 Best Contributions to Society of Sparky McGuillicutty
He just totally sucks. In every way.
65. Things found in Richard Gere's ass
Now only 38 percent rodents!
64. Incomplete List of Basic Articles
63. Worst 100 Self-Contained Lists of All Time
62. Time Magazine's 10 Best Reasons Why O.J. is Guilty
Five involve circumstantial evidence, the other five are just "Look how black we made him on the cover!"
61. Kathy Griffin's Private Joke File
It's a hilariously uncomfortable time. Especially when your girlfriend is laughing on the floor at jokes like, "Jerry Seinfeld is sooooo weeeeird."

60-51[edit]

60. Sharper Image Catalog for the Amish

Now featuring Rock On A Stick!

59. List of Ethnic Slurs
It's fully condoned by Wikipedia.
58. 100 Worst Sheep Diseases
The list isn't finished (or started) yet, but it already sucks.
57. List of Every White Person on the Planet
Bryant Gumbel, Al Roker, and Eminem are still being disputed by top scientists on their "whiteness". Therefore, this is also an incomplete list.
56. Franz Liszt
55. List of angry white people with beards
From Santa Clause to Rosie O'Donnel.
54. List of stupid things G.W has done
It's too damn long!
53. Top 100 things not to put up your nose
52. List of the itchiest sweaters of all time
Just looking at the list makes you want to to rip your skin off.
51. List of all the thing Rosie O'Donnell can eat in a day
I still can’t believe she was able to eat the whole school bus.

50-41[edit]

50. List of the 100 worst Japanese Pop Songs
You just don't wanna know, so just don't mention listening to it.
49. List of the 100 worst Places for Masturbation
Just plain bad, and really didn't need the pictures.


47. Romanian contributions to mankind
From gypsies to Dracula.
46. List of famous jackass idiots
Too fucking long!
45. FBI's Least Wanted
They don't care if the Bedfellow Bandit is turned in.
44. Planets in the Solar System
Pluto, where are you Pluto?
84. Numbers from the sequence that migrated somewhere else
What's this doing here?
43. List of the Times Bugs Bunny Cross-Dressed
42. List of Homer Simpson's jobs
41. Bluto lookalikes that Popeye beat up.

40-31[edit]

40. List of Lists that never made it to number one.
Hey look, this page is on here!
39. List of cartoon characters the Catholic church want's to get rid of.
Jesus from the Bible Channel is on the list.
38. List of people not cool enough to make it on a list
mind boggling.
37. The RE List
36. 100 Things to Do In Ridgeway, South Carolina.
35. List of Sims games
34. 100 men Elton John had sex with last year
33. List of people who have crabs
32. Top 10 people who hate You 
Me, Your mom, ect.
31. List of things your boss says has to get done at work

30-21[edit]

30. List of best selling Beanie Babies and Pogs
29. People who eat your lunch at work
28. List of most famous people who are furries
27. List of movies about Bob Dole

Such as that movie where Bob Dole ran for President of the United States of Bob Dole, I mean America.

26. Top 100,000 things Tom Cruise does to be a retard
25. List of all the things George Bush has done right

WAAAAAAY too friggin' short

24. List of ways to praise Microsoft
23. Top 2 things Paris Hilton has said that have been semi-intelligent
22. List of ways to shit in an intricate fashion
21. List of people who enjoy Baywatch

20-11[edit]

20. Top 50 things
19. Top 10 Uncyclopedia users whose name has the word noob in it
18. Top 22 ways Kenny was killed
17. List of good yo mama jokes
16. List of uncyclopedia articles that didn't deserve to be on the front page 
Euroipods, I'm looking at you!
15. List of Uncyclopedia Articles With Hidden Text.
14. Top 40 Worst ways to admit you have hemorrhoids to your lover. Foreword by Jerry Stiller.
13. Top 100 famous people from 100 shows that are on VH1,MTV,TVland and about every cable channel every week. That talk about the 100 best or worse whatever programs that they are not in.
12. Top 100 times <insert name here> banged their own mom.
11. Schindler's List

10-1[edit]

10. Hitler's Top Ten Ways to Please Your Man
An Ironic list made in the 5 minutes between the times when Hitler decided to sympathize with homosexual males rather then killing them, and his eventual suicide. This led to Paul Simon's famous list: Top Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover, written in 1976.
9. The Numbers
An Anthology
8. List of the 100 best brands of CD/DVD lables
7. List of the best Simpsons episodes in the past 5 years.
6. The 5 people who liked the movie The Adventures of Pluto Nash
5. Top 2 Of Uncyclopedia lists that have correct numeration.
4. Top 100 Future Disasters That You Can't Do Anything About.
3. List of Most Popular Sockpuppet Accounts.
2. Top Zero Most Modest Vanity Pages.
1. Men Claiming Paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter
In a classic example of the phrase "Victim of its own success", this list eventually grew so large that it was deleted for falling foul of Uncyclopedia's No-List policy. And, in a classic example of the phrase "life imitates art", it even managed to predict potential claimants before they publicly declared themselves in real life (e.g. O.J. Simpson).

Honorable Mention[edit]