Worst 100 Ringtones of All Time

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100 April Fools Jokes
99 Colours
98 Creatures to have sex with
97 Firefox extensions
96 Foods
95 Gifts to give a friend
94 Harry Potter Spin-offs
93 Inventions
92 Locations
91 LOL Cats
90 Make Out Songs
89 Moments to get a Boner
88 Moments to Laugh
87 Money Making Schemes
86 Movies
85 Non-existent Words
84 Non-Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
83 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
82 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
81 Pick-up lines
80 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Porn Stars
78 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
77 Reasons to become a Christian
76 Reflections on 2005
75 Reflections on 2006
74 Reflections on 2007
73 Reflections on 2008
72 Reflections on 2009
71 Reflections on 2010
70 Reflections on 2011
69 Reflections on 2012
68 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
67 Remakes
66 Restaurants
65 Self Help Books
64 Sequels
63 Sexual Perversions
62 Short Poems
61 Sitcom Catchphrases
60 Songs
59 Songs about Seagulling
58 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
57 Songs To Have Sex To
56 Songs To Play At A Funeral
55 Spinoffs
54 Superheroes
53 Things About the '00s
52 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
51 Things to do during Christmas
50 Things to Put In An IV
49 Things To Say In Court
48 Things to Say in the Workplace
47 Things to say on a First Date
46 Toys
45 TV Programs
44 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43 Video Games of all time‎
42 Video Game Movies
41 Video Game Systems
40 Ways of Being a Dick
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die
35 Ways to Exercise
34 Ways to Fight a Crocodile
33 Ways to Fight a Dolphin
32 Ways to Fight a Duck
31 Ways to Fight a Frog
30 Ways to Fight a Jellyfish
29 Ways to Fight a Kangaroo
28 Ways to Fight a Lemur
27 Ways to Fight a Man
26 Ways to Fight a Penguin
25 Ways to Fight a Pirate
24 Ways to Fight a Platypus
23 Ways to Fight a Queen
22 Ways to Fight a Snake
21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
17 Ways to Fight an Alligator
16 Ways to Fight an Asian Elephant
15 Ways to Fight an Iguana
14 Ways to Fight an Ox
13 Ways to Fight an Ugly Animal
12 Ways to Get a Boyfriend
11 Ways to Get a Girlfriend
10 Ways to Hack a Computer
9 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras

According to Crazy Frog's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Ringtones ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* Crazy Frog does not care to count this list too closely, and viewers are wise not to criticise amphibian numeration policy.

116. Nanananaa - The Kaiser Cheifs. Seriously.
115. Those retarded big brother 9 ringtones
114. Tune from the "Funeral March"
113.AAAAAAAAA!
112. Asthma
Like 'Heavy Breathing', but with a bit more wheeze
111. Power Cut
Doesn't last long
110. Diahrhea
You phone going off in the bathroom couldn't possibly gross more people out.
109. Vomiting
Wait, yes it can!
108. Troubled pregnancy
Making Pregnant Women feel bad.
107. Satanic rantings of Osama Bin Laden 
People nearby will hit the floor.
106. Fellatio sucking noise 
Uncomfortable for everyone except whores.
105. Baby in a blender
3 optional settings.
104. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world....."
103. (eerie voice)
"The voices told me to clean the guns..."
102. Cockring
A strong "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" at full volume makes you the instant centre of attention at any cockfighting ring.
101. Theme from Mork and Mindy
100. Wet fart
Follow through in style! Only available in monofonic version.
99. Dick van Dyke
"Cor blimey, sheila"
98. Blue Whale song
Only available in realistic volume version.
97. Heart attack
Infectious ringtone is what buyers of this ringtone say.
96. Ricky Gervais' Monkey Dance
95. Billy Jean
Blocks calls from your lover
94. "FUCK YOU!" 
You can almost hear the last seconds of your life ticking down.
93. 1953 F.A. Cup Final
Full coverage of Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers with match commentary by Kenneth Wolstenholme.
92. Toilet flushing
Hilarious!
91. John Major
"Oh, yes!"
90. "You have two cows!"
...and one amazing ringtone!
89. Kelly Clarkson swearing profusely
(XXX!)
88. Princess Diana car crash
87. Richard and Judy
86. Approaching footsteps
85. Paris Hilton sex tape
Available to subscribers only!
84. Liquor store robbery gone wrong
83. George Bush blunder 1
"Mah fellow Arabians"
82. Retirement Home
"Wherf muh teef? *cough*"
81. Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah
80. Milk Bottles clinking
79. Irritating McDonalds jingle
"I'm lovin' it"
78. Ron Jeremy climaxing
oh oh UHHHhhnn!!
77. Coldplay - Clocks
Zzz!!
76. Annoying neighbour
(very, VERY annoying)
75. Dripping Tap
Guaranteed to cause insomnia!
74. "D'oh!"
Classic Homer Simpson line!
73. Tumbleweed
72. Larry the Cable Guy farts.
71. Microsoft Office Paper clip
Brings back memories!
70. Echo
Echo!!
69. "Dude, where's my car?"
68. Elton John singing the word "cum"
67. Dog being shot
Hilarious!
66. Television static
65. Pin dropping
64. "There's a lion behind you!"
63. Jamie Oliver moaning
62. Child falling over Niagra Falls
5.1 surround sound!
61. Dentist's drill
60. Manical laughter
Infectious!
59. 1987 Tory Party conference
58. Car Alarm
(20 mins)
57. Splitting headache
56. Foghorn
Realistic volume!
55. "You've got cancer"
Hilarious!
54. Kitten huffing noises
53. Bomb ticking
52. Flashback noise
51. Swedish Chef
Bork!
50. Burp!
49. Eastenders
"You slag!"
48. 47
46. Big Bird telling everyone to fuck off
(XXX!)
45. George Bush blunder 2
"Ich bin ein Nazi!"
44. Heavy Breathing
Huuuuuh Haaaaaaah HHHuuuuuuuuh
43. X-Ray machine
(vision only)
42. 2000 unsold mobile phones ringing in an empty warehouse
41. "Timber!"
(Not Justin Timberlake)
40. Justin Timberlake
"I'm lovin' it"!
39. Walt Disney racial slur
38. Scathing remarks about you and your friends
37. Beard rustling
36. Michael Moore reciting the alphabet backwards
35. Self destruct warning
Run!
34. Oscar Wilde
33. "Let me just say this about that"
32. 9/11
31. Call from your mother
Don't forget to wash behind your ears!
30. Voice of God
Arthuuuur Arthuuuur.
29. Premature ejaculation
Embarrassing!
28. Lynyrd Skynyrd
(sinister backwards messages)
27. Angry doormouse
Guaranteed to scare people
26. Pentium jingle
25. Theme from The Dambusters
24. Genital warts
(itching only)
23. "You noob!"
22. Harmonica being played badly
(very badly)
21. Emphysema
20. Italian National Anthem
Fatboy Slim remix
19. Bee
BzzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzzZZzZzz.
18. Plane crash
17. Britney Spears breastfeeding
Oh, baby, baby!!
16. Polystyrene rubbing against blackboard
Annoy your friends!
15. Christopher Eccleston
"You fucking cunt!"
14. Death March (Also Known As Anything by Shostakovich)
13. "What'chu talkin' about, Willis?"
12. Gunfire
11. The first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan
10. Dr. Who themetune
Spooky!
Can't argue wit dat!
9. Sneezing fit
8. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky; Try to take over the world"
7. Firework exploding in your ear
6. Baby crying all fucking night
Really lasts all fucking night. Send it to your enemies!
5. 10 o' clock news
With Trevor McDonald!!
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Who is your daddy?"
3. Awkward Silence
2. The entire Christian Bale rant. Even if you answer the call, it just keeps going.
1. Crazy Frog
Jacques Chirac loses it!