Worst 100 Ringtones of All Time

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56 Songs To Play At A Funeral
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33 Ways to Fight a Dolphin
32 Ways to Fight a Duck
31 Ways to Fight a Frog
30 Ways to Fight a Jellyfish
29 Ways to Fight a Kangaroo
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27 Ways to Fight a Man
26 Ways to Fight a Penguin
25 Ways to Fight a Pirate
24 Ways to Fight a Platypus
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22 Ways to Fight a Snake
21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
17 Ways to Fight an Alligator
16 Ways to Fight an Asian Elephant
15 Ways to Fight an Iguana
14 Ways to Fight an Ox
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8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras

According to Crazy Frog's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Ringtones ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* Crazy Frog does not care to count this list too closely, and viewers are wise not to criticise amphibian numeration policy.

116. Nanananaa - The Kaiser Cheifs. Seriously.
115. Those retarded big brother 9 ringtones
114. Tune from the "Funeral March"
112. Asthma
Like 'Heavy Breathing', but with a bit more wheeze
111. Power Cut
Doesn't last long
110. Diahrhea
You phone going off in the bathroom couldn't possibly gross more people out.
109. Vomiting
Wait, yes it can!
108. Troubled pregnancy
Making Pregnant Women feel bad.
107. Satanic rantings of Osama Bin Laden
People nearby will hit the floor.
106. Fellatio sucking noise
Uncomfortable for everyone except whores.
105. Baby in a blender
3 optional settings.
104. "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world....."
103. (eerie voice)
"The voices told me to clean the guns..."
102. Cockring
A strong "Cock-a-doodle-doo!" at full volume makes you the instant centre of attention at any cockfighting ring.
101. Theme from Mork and Mindy
100. Wet fart
Follow through in style! Only available in monofonic version.
99. Dick van Dyke
"Cor blimey, sheila"
98. Blue Whale song
Only available in realistic volume version.
97. Heart attack
Infectious ringtone is what buyers of this ringtone say.
96. Ricky Gervais' Monkey Dance
95. Billy Jean
Blocks calls from your lover
94. "FUCK YOU!"
You can almost hear the last seconds of your life ticking down.
93. 1953 F.A. Cup Final
Full coverage of Blackpool and Bolton Wanderers with match commentary by Kenneth Wolstenholme.
92. Toilet flushing
91. John Major
"Oh, yes!"
90. "You have two cows!"
...and one amazing ringtone!
89. Kelly Clarkson swearing profusely
88. Princess Diana car crash
87. Richard and Judy
86. Approaching footsteps
85. Paris Hilton sex tape
Available to subscribers only!
84. Liquor store robbery gone wrong
83. George Bush blunder 1
"Mah fellow Arabians"
82. Retirement Home
"Wherf muh teef? *cough*"
81. Tom Cruise going crazy on Oprah
80. Milk Bottles clinking
79. Irritating McDonalds jingle
"I'm lovin' it"
78. Ron Jeremy climaxing
oh oh UHHHhhnn!!
77. Coldplay - Clocks
76. Annoying neighbour
(very, VERY annoying)
75. Dripping Tap
Guaranteed to cause insomnia!
74. "D'oh!"
Classic Homer Simpson line!
73. Tumbleweed
72. Larry the Cable Guy farts.
71. Microsoft Office Paper clip
Brings back memories!
70. Echo
69. "Dude, where's my car?"
68. Elton John singing the word "cum"
67. Dog being shot
66. Television static
65. Pin dropping
64. "There's a lion behind you!"
63. Jamie Oliver moaning
62. Child falling over Niagra Falls
5.1 surround sound!
61. Dentist's drill
60. Manical laughter
59. 1987 Tory Party conference
58. Car Alarm
(20 mins)
57. Splitting headache
56. Foghorn
Realistic volume!
55. "You've got cancer"
54. Kitten huffing noises
53. Bomb ticking
52. Flashback noise
51. Swedish Chef
50. Burp!
49. Eastenders
"You slag!"
48. 47
46. Big Bird telling everyone to fuck off
45. George Bush blunder 2
"Ich bin ein Nazi!"
44. Heavy Breathing
Huuuuuh Haaaaaaah HHHuuuuuuuuh
43. X-Ray machine
(vision only)
42. 2000 unsold mobile phones ringing in an empty warehouse
41. "Timber!"
(Not Justin Timberlake)
40. Justin Timberlake
"I'm lovin' it"!
39. Walt Disney racial slur
38. Scathing remarks about you and your friends
37. Beard rustling
36. Michael Moore reciting the alphabet backwards
35. Self destruct warning
34. Oscar Wilde
33. "Let me just say this about that"
32. 9/11
31. Call from your mother
Don't forget to wash behind your ears!
30. Voice of God
Arthuuuur Arthuuuur.
29. Premature ejaculation
28. Lynyrd Skynyrd
(sinister backwards messages)
27. Angry doormouse
Guaranteed to scare people
26. Pentium jingle
25. Theme from The Dambusters
24. Genital warts
(itching only)
23. "You noob!"
22. Harmonica being played badly
(very badly)
21. Emphysema
20. Italian National Anthem
Fatboy Slim remix
19. Bee
18. Plane crash
17. Britney Spears breastfeeding
Oh, baby, baby!!
16. Polystyrene rubbing against blackboard
Annoy your friends!
15. Christopher Eccleston
"You fucking cunt!"
14. Death March (Also Known As Anything by Shostakovich)
13. "What'chu talkin' about, Willis?"
12. Gunfire
11. The first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan
10. Dr. Who themetune
Can't argue wit dat!
9. Sneezing fit
8. "The same thing we do every night, Pinky; Try to take over the world"
7. Firework exploding in your ear
6. Baby crying all fucking night
Really lasts all fucking night. Send it to your enemies!
5. 10 o' clock news
With Trevor McDonald!!
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger
"Who is your daddy?"
3. Awkward Silence
2. The entire Christian Bale rant. Even if you answer the call, it just keeps going.
1. Crazy Frog
Jacques Chirac loses it!