Worst 100 Songs Referencing Paedophilia

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According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Songs referencing paedophilia ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

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100 April Fools Jokes
99 Colours
98 Creatures to have sex with
97 Firefox extensions
96 Foods
95 Gifts to give a friend
94 Harry Potter Spin-offs
93 Inventions
92 Locations
91 LOL Cats
90 Make Out Songs
89 Moments to get a Boner
88 Moments to Laugh
87 Money Making Schemes
86 Movies
85 Non-existent Words
84 Non-Sexual Things To Do With No Pants On
83 Nutty Conspiracy Theories
82 Overused Star Trek Episode Plots
81 Pick-up lines
80 Pokemon Cash-Ins
79 Porn Stars
78 Quick Detections that an Uncyclopedia page sucks
77 Reasons to become a Christian
76 Reflections on 2005
75 Reflections on 2006
74 Reflections on 2007
73 Reflections on 2008
72 Reflections on 2009
71 Reflections on 2010
70 Reflections on 2011
69 Reflections on 2012
68 Rejected Harry Potter Novels
67 Remakes
66 Restaurants
65 Self Help Books
64 Sequels
63 Sexual Perversions
62 Short Poems
61 Sitcom Catchphrases
60 Songs
59 Songs about Seagulling
58 Songs Referencing Paedophilia
57 Songs To Have Sex To
56 Songs To Play At A Funeral
55 Spinoffs
54 Superheroes
53 Things About the '00s
52 Things Rick Astley is Never Gonna Do
51 Things to do during Christmas
50 Things to Put In An IV
49 Things To Say In Court
48 Things to Say in the Workplace
47 Things to say on a First Date
46 Toys
45 TV Programs
44 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes
43 Video Games of all time‎
42 Video Game Movies
41 Video Game Systems
40 Ways of Being a Dick
39 Ways To Be Castrated
38 Ways to be Circumcized
37 Ways to Deliver Bad News
36 Ways to Die
35 Ways to Exercise
34 Ways to Fight a Crocodile
33 Ways to Fight a Dolphin
32 Ways to Fight a Duck
31 Ways to Fight a Frog
30 Ways to Fight a Jellyfish
29 Ways to Fight a Kangaroo
28 Ways to Fight a Lemur
27 Ways to Fight a Man
26 Ways to Fight a Penguin
25 Ways to Fight a Pirate
24 Ways to Fight a Platypus
23 Ways to Fight a Queen
22 Ways to Fight a Snake
21 Ways to Fight a Turtle
20 Ways to Fight a Vampire
19 Ways to Fight a Werewolf
18 Ways to Fight an African Elephant
17 Ways to Fight an Alligator
16 Ways to Fight an Asian Elephant
15 Ways to Fight an Iguana
14 Ways to Fight an Ox
13 Ways to Fight an Ugly Animal
12 Ways to Get a Boyfriend
11 Ways to Get a Girlfriend
10 Ways to Hack a Computer
9 Ways to Kill Sarah Connor
8 Ways to Start a Novel
7 Ways to Win an Argument
6 Weapons
5 Werewolves
4 Worlds of Fiction
3 Xylophones
2 Yaks
1 Zebras
100. "Two Little Boys"
- Antipodean bedtime classic from Rolf Harris.
99. "Rock the Cradle of Love"
- Billy Idol.
98. "Girl, You'll be a Woman, Soon"
- Neil Diamond.
97. "Hot for Teacher"
- David Lee Roth and Van Halen recount their childhood memories.
96. "The Kids Are Alright"
- Pete Townsend and friends, remembered for the infamous accompanying videos.
95. "Sweet Child O' Mine"
- Guns N' Roses.
94. "Strange Little Girl"
- The Stranglers.
93. "I Got You Babe"
- Sonny and Cher.
92. "Thriller"
- Michael Jackson. Just because.
91. "Thank Heaven for Little Girls"
- Charles Hasnovoice. Gallic lover of le petit femme.
90. "Good Morning Little Schoolgirl"
- Sonny Boy Williamson. Seriously.
89. "All The Young girls Love Alice"
- Elton John. And Alice loves them back. Now she's in Wonderland...
88. "Rock Your Baby"
- George McCrae.
87. "Last Child"
- Aerosmith
86. "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"
- yeah, let's just say in the original it fuckin' well weren't a star what was getting 'twinkled'.
85. "Hot Child In The City"
- Nick Gilder -Not only does this seem to be about an underage whore, but the name Nick Gilder sounds like someone who'd be looking for underage whores!
84. "Sweet 17"
- The Babys - "She's got a mouth full of sticky stuff"
83. "You Don't Have To Be Old To Be Wise"
- Judas Priest - Especially wrong when sang by a (gay) man completely dressed in leather!
82. "Wrong Way"
- Sublime - Lovely song about an obsession with a 15 year old hooker
81. "When I saw her standing there"
- The Beatles - She was just seventeen, eh?
80. "Christine"
- KISS - Just '16' hum Ace??
79. "Little Girls"
- Oingo Boingo
78. "Aqualung"
- Jethro Tull - Creepy Bum with a snotty nose eying little girls with bad intent?
77. "I Kissed a Girl"
- Katy Perry - Katy Perry reveals her obsession with little girls.
76. "Cherry Man"
- The Wannadies - You have to see the video to fully understand.
75. "Love Child"
Deep Purple
74. "Save All Your Kisses For Me"
Some crappy seventies band who won at Eurovision with this. It ain't just kisses, pal...
73. "Throwaway Children"
Dio. "I'll keep you safe and warm, words she needs to hear - what they really mean is no more... little girl..." Scary!
71. "House of 1000 Voices"
Candlemass. Infanticide and other unnamed horrors, but we can guess mwhahahaha!!!!!
70. "Child"
Free. Bondage, paedophilia... AAARGH!
69. "What's Your Name"
Lynyrd Skynyrd.
68. "Who are you?"
The Who....'well I really wanna know!' (actual lyrics)

Top Ten[edit]

2. "Devil in a midnight mass"
Billy Talent.It is actually about paedophilia. A Paedophiliac priest.
1. "Mr Tinkertrain"
Ozzy Osbourne. It is actually about paedophilia, and I only listened to it once and then had to have counselling...