Worst 100 Ways of Being a Dick
32. Asking a co-worker if he would like a lift home, and as soon as hes in the car, Turn to him and say " i should tell you about the brakes"
31. You are a Scientologist and won't shut the fuck up
30. Your Nickname is associated with genitals eg. Numnuts, Balsak ,Nutsak or Balz
29. Being the Jonas Brothers.
28. Your favorite book happens to be Moby Dick.
27-25. Reading this list to see how you can get yourself higher on the dick leaderboard. Congratulations, you've reached rank one! You are now a complete dick.
24. Realising that you are the worlds biggest dick. (The horror!)
22. You're Mr. Garrison's first dick.
21. You're Mr. Garrison's second dick.
20. You're Dubya's first dick.
19. You're Dubya's second dick.
18. You're Hillary's first lady.
17. You're Dick's second lady.
15. Make people actually wish you were Al Gore.
7. Polka in public.
5. Let a guy called Scooter be your Chief of Staff.
2. Be the target of a suicide attack in which over twenty other people have died, almost exactly a year after you shot a person in the face after mistaking him for a quail.
1. Make a really old guy publicly apologize to you for the fact that you shot him in the face.
0.666. Strap a guy to a chair and make him watch meatspin.com for five weeks.
0. Fart in your coat and tell some one to put it away.