Wyoming
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Wyoming (pronounced wyoamin') is an antelope colony created in 1826 after its previous inhabitants left to find somewhere less sage-brush oriented. It was christened "the Equality State" by Republican Jesus, but in 1987 its motto was changed to "smoke a pack a day."
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[edit] Trade
Wyoming imports large amounts of food, clothing, sporting equipment, gunpowder, ATV's, beer, trailers, and mail-order brides. Wyoming's primary exports include bullets traveling at a high velocity, drunk drivers, jackalopes, and Dick Cheney. Wyoming is also a major producer of extracted minerals such as uranium, coal, crude oil, and natural gas. There were initial concerns about genetic mutations among the offspring of uranium miners, but these were later determined to be run of the mill mutations from inbreeding.
[edit] People
While it is the tenth largest state in the nation, Wyoming is also the least populous. This is due to the fact that Wyoming is basically a giant wind tunnel. However, Wyoming has the largest belt buckle surface area to body mass ratio in the nation. Belt buckles are not decorative, they are ballast against gusts. Wyoming also has the lowest population density of any state because fuck Alaska.
[edit] Politics
Wyoming was once a diverse state, but recently all political parties were replaced with the NRA. Subsequently Wyoming's state constitution was modified to make "the right to bear arms" a responsibility. Everyone living in Wyoming is a hardworking, family-oriented patriot. Everyone living outside of Wyoming is a commie liberal terrorist. NO EXCEPTIONS.
[edit] Religion
Wyoming is a predominately Christian state. The word "Christian" is not used here to imply a worship of Christ. Churchgoers in Wyoming are less into hippie loving turn the other cheek Jesus doctrine and more into the "blow that shit up" Old Testament God. Shockingly, most Wyoming preachers site the story of Sodom and Gomorrah as their favorite part of the bible. Presumably they leave out the section where Lot lets an entire crowd rape his daughters in God's name before getting it on with them himself. Or not, depending on how the church rolls.
[edit] Food
In Wyoming, water is considered dangerously liberal, so beer is drunk instead. Most Wyomingites subsist on a diet of gorp, jackalope jerky, and crystal meth.
[edit] Culture
[edit] Environment
Wyoming is famous for its beautiful scenery and pretty flowers. This is a matter of deep concern for its closet homosexuals citizens, who are afraid this will make them seem gay. In response, they have hired the natural gas industry to destroy them.
[edit] Wyoming: A Tourist's Guide
- Locals love discussing Brokeback Mountain. Bring it up as much as possible.
- Also, tell them how cute their cowboy shoes are.
- Mention to people how excited you are to hear about the federal government's new wolf plan.
- Yes, you fucking idiot, there are deer in Wyoming.
- No, that's a moose, not a deer.
- How do you tell the difference? The best way is to get really close to it.
- No, I mean really close. Hugging range. Perfect. Youtube, here I come!
[edit] Wolves
When tourists come to Wyoming many of them are confused what wolves really are, many people think they are a semi-large predator. This, however, is only partly correct. Wolves actually are things such as:
- Government Sponsored Terrorists
- Devil Spawn
- Malicious monsters that'll go out of their way to eat cows from rancher's herds of over 9000 cattle
- Liberals
- Rebel Scum
- Fucking Dingos, Mate
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