X-treme

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"Can you handle my truth? Word yo, I'm da masta gansta - whoop yo, I'm one X-treme mo-frolicking-fo. Hep."

~ Oscar Wilde on X-treme.


The concept of X-treme is an ancient, revered way of manipulating common ideas, going back to the beginning of the last millennium. It's a totally awesome way to "hip up" an object or concept, to make it "rad" (as the kids say).

The use of X-treme is usually associated with the lesser used letters of the alphabet, including Z, X, K and occasionally Q. The general technique is to take a totally boring thing and switch/replace letters, making it totally gnarly, dude.

For example, to make your lunch more X-treme, start calling it "X-treme Eatz".

Historical Examples of Usage[edit]

  • 130 A.D. : After hundreds of Christians die at the hands of the Romans, local Roman preachers decide to jazz up Christianity by calling it Xtianity. It instantly becomes cool, and the numbers of Xtians balloon into the hundreds of thousands.
  • 500 A.D. : The success of Xtianity inspires a name change for the Christmas holiday, so at a papal conference, the Pope and his bishops "Get busy". They change the name to Xmas, and add new activities such as X-treme stocking stuffers, cool-yule log burnings and "To the X-treme" caroling.
  • 1654 A.D. : While developing his theories of light, Isaac Newton writes a book named Optics. It is poorly received in the scientific community of the time, so he changes the title to Opticks (he considered naming it Optikz, but did not want to be too x-treme and scare off his staid contemporaries). Subsequently, thousands of youths buy or steal copies, and it becomes hip to quote from it.
  • 1997 A.D : Logan St. Claire moves to Lego Island.She hides there and makes it Xtreme.She then heads out for some margaritas and champagne
  • 2004 A.D. : Schick razor company creates a perfectly normal razor which sells at a quite acceptable pace. After an extensive marketing meeting, they change the name to Xtreme Razor. Riots ensue as the world's cool people try to get their hands on them, and the razors fly off the shelves.
  • 2772 A.D. : Bugs Bunny and his cohorts decide to go XTREME, and relabel themselves as Xtreme Loonacy. Bugs Bunny gets eye lasers and Daffy Duck is a weapons expert with built in sonar. And it's totally AWESOME. [1]
Things only get better when they get XTREME