Yellowstone National Park

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Yellowstone National Park is a large area of wilderness in North West Wyoming. Contrary to popular opinion Yellowstone WAS NOT founded by Darth Vader, and has no association with him whatsoever. Got that? OK. It is located above the largest volcano known to man. This may very well prove to be a good thing as it's likely at some point to finally exploded and totally devastate Wyoming. Something others have been looking forward to for some time.

The Yellowstone National Park region is filled with a motley collection of dumb animals and the hundreds of vacationing Asians that get mauled when trying to pet them.

Geo-Thermal Features[edit]

Obama being pissed on by Mother Earth

One of the main reasons that people go to Yellowstone National Park is the geo-thermal features. Geo-thermal features in Yellowstone are when warm water erupts from the earth. This process is known as digestion. When the earth was made, all of the earthly wastes started to build up inside of it. All of this waste was building up pressure inside of the earth and the earth was beginning to need to shit really really badly. So god said "Let there be an anus!" and Yellowstone was made. As a result, the earth must now take a massive shit every 650,000 years or so. When Yellowstone National Park is not used to poop, it is used for another bm, and that is the act of urination. Because of the fact that the earth has so much water on it, it constantly needs to pee, and does so at Yellowstone. There for, we now see that the geo-thermal features that everybody loves so much at Yellowstone National Park, are actually just Mother Earth taking a leak. Further studies have taken place on this scientific anomaly. When the realization that Yellowstone could be a natural urinal, people checked the theory. When they visited these geo-thermal features and took a whiff of fresh Wyoming air, they found the horrid smell of a bowel movement. This smell is noticed by anybody that goes near one of the features. So now this once thought of myth of a planetary ass, is now accepted as scientific fact.

Wild Life[edit]

Apart from the occasional hippie, the wild animals found in Yellowstone can be quite splendid, but only at a distance. It has been found that every year an Asian tourist runs up to a bear to try and pet/feed/hug/kiss/molest it. The bear then simply takes its paw, and shoves it through the Asians groin like a male genitalia through a pie. So if visiting Yellowstone National Park, remember that the wild animals are not the cute little stuffed bears that you have at home. When not petting/feeding/hugging/kissing/molesting the wild life, you can become enthralled in their natural beauity. Some examples of Yellowstone National Park's animals are:

  • Bears
  • Buffalo
  • Moose
  • Antelope
  • Hippies
  • Asian Tourists
  • Wookies
  • T-Rexes
  • Smokey the (Marijuana) Bear
  • Cheech Hippies
  • Jack Black

The Great Yellowstone Fire of 1988[edit]

In the year of 1988, we don't know how, but the earth got gonorreha. The burning of the gonorreha when the earth used its Yellowstone National Park soon became so intense that Yellowstone burst into flames. The United States paid aproxamatly 120 million bagillion dollars to stop the spread of this earthly std (along with the fires). As a result of the fires, many areas in yellowstone look as if it has shit once again, but with time, the plant life will regrow and continue to thrive.

See Also[edit]