Yiff

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Yiff, sometimes known as yiffism or the yiffs, is a debilitating disease afflicting thousands of Americans and Non Americans worldwide. There is no known cure and treatments are both expensive and humorous. Symptoms of yiff include excessive masturbation and strange physical attractions to animals. If you or a loved one engage in sexual intercourse with a nearby animal, such as a pet or farm animal after watching yiff, go to the hospital immediately. There doctors will prescribe prostitutes to set your hillbilly mind straight. Alternately, you can find the nearest nigger and use the n-word in his presence for a quick and fairly painless death.

Types[edit]

This is a form of yiff

There are at least 6 strains and several strain variants of yiff, the main ones are:

  • Yiffus caninus
  • Yiffus felinus
    • Yiffus tigrinus
    • Yiffus leoninus
  • Yiffus lacertinus
    • Yiffus draconinus (also known as yiffus screw-the-rules-i-have-money-us)
  • Yiffus suillinus
  • Yiffus equinus
    • Yiffus hippotigrinus
  • Yiffus aveus
  • Yiffus mustelidus

A seventh strain, Yiffus Vulgaris, is debated as to whether it exists or not.

History[edit]

Yiff was introduced at the Big Bang, at which Adam and Eve becvame bored with fucking just each other. Adam noticed other creatures had the same parts, and then had a great idea. When he got tired of Eve (or when she was on her fucking period), he had Rough Gay Wolf Sex and invented Bestiality. Adam began to depict his sexual encounters in the form of yiff.:

If you can see this, you are hereby infected. If you cannot, you're one of the lucky few...

Causes[edit]

The exact causes are not known. However, most persons who become afflicted share certain traits:

  • Strange attractions to animals, or those depicting animals
  • Excessive masturbation
  • Lack of interest in human pornography
  • Interest in finding the genitals on every animal they come in contact with

Symptoms[edit]

  • Static cling (lol, but possible)
  • Animalistic sounds (not genially found)
  • Thrashing of limbs (wat?)
  • Increased heartbeat and respiration
  • Being unwelcome on any image board with a /b/ section. (4chan talk)
  • Love for all creatures.

Prevention[edit]

Treatment[edit]

  • Regular, severe beatings without pants.
  • More of the same.
  • Yiff.
  • rules 1 and 2
Sexual Fetishes, Paraphilias, and Assorted Perversions