“Size matters not.”
“When nine hundred years old you reach, look like shit you will.”
A deeply wise Jedi master, Yoda is. Often as the "green wrinkly character" from the Star Wars franchise, referred to, he is. Speak in object-subject-verb word order to confuse his students, Yoda would, for some reason which explained, is not. Manner of such speaking being used in this article, it is. Irritating, is not it? Flawed however, Yoda was. Depleted of strength and tired during the Clone Wars, Yoda was. Hide like a scared little child he did, while the galaxy the Empire conquered. Later, assume the mentoring of Darth Vader's son Luke he would.
Biography of Yoda, here is
Life, early it was...
In the nonexistent year of 896 BBY, born on Yoda's planet, he was. A member of Yoda's species, was he. Yoda's mother and Yoda's father, his parents were. Dictums of wisdom his first words being, "Mama" or "Daddy," as supposed to. If failing grades, Yoda got, A for effort he would not receive. "Do or do not. There is no try," Yoda's parents would say. Encouraging this phrase is not, borderline douchey, it is even. A Jedi master, Yoda eventually became. By now, tired of talking this way, Yoda was. Stop unfortunately, Yoda could not.
Die, Yoda does
Sad, the death of Yoda was, indeed yes. Peacefully, Yoda wished to die. Quietly, Yoda wished to die. Unfulfilled were these wishes. While dying Yoda was, ask stupid questions about his father, Luke did. Escape Luke's annoying rambling, Yoda finally did. Earned it he had.
A Jedi Master, Yoda is
The Force, Yoda uses
A saber, Yoda has
Green, Yoda's lightsaber is. Up to interpretation, is the reason. Perhaps, due to the fact that the opposite of red, green is and red, Darth Vader's saber is. Metaphor, Yoda's saber is, of conflict and contrast between Vader and the Jedi. Perhaps looking too deeply into it, I am. Perhaps, saber green because Yoda is.
Popular culture, Yoda is in
Much known, Yoda is. His appearance on backpacks, speedos, common it is. Look like Yoda, many costumes do. Parody of Lola, Yoda featuring, Weird Al made. On and on, this list will go. Repetitive, becoming it is, however.
Way of the Jedi now tell
To you reader you, some Jedi wises secrets here are. All first, grab image mental, pull, then push, make spin, duplicate or/and points through it pull, between thoughts seek space nothing. Later gator force you be, force then birds fly, with fly them. Of last true secret Jedi speak I: Create your reality own you do, past decisions and habits see and break daily some, memories happy time present know, adventures flesh seek you. Run, spot, run.
|Featured Article (read another featured article)|
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
Aristotle | Thomas Aquinas | Yogi Berra | Confucius | Joseph Ducreux | Ken Foree | Benjamin Franklin | Thomas Hobbes | Idiocrates | Samuel L. Jackson | John Locke | Mr. Miyagi | Plato | Ayn Rand | Socrates | Voltaire | Oscar Wilde | Yoda | Thomas Paine