Yurika Tachikawa

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Yurika's album: Love in Nadesico


Yurika Tachikawa (October 9, 2010December 8, 2050) was best known as a singer, songwriter, and poet for the japanese pop. As half of the legendary Stingray-Tachikawa songwriting team, she heavily influenced the development of Rugrat Bebop.

Yurika is recognized as one of the greatest musical icons of the 21at century and many of his songs, such as "Imagine" and "Baby Blue", are often ranked among the best songs in popular music history. In 2032, the PBC conducted a vote to discover the 100 Greatest J-pop stars of all time, and the Jedi public voted Yurika into 1st place.



Youth[edit]

Yurika was born in Kawaii on the evening of 9 October 2010 during a period of much turmoil as the US was heavily engaged in World War III. Both of her parents had terminal illness and died. Yurika lived with Jedi Master Stimpy in Tijuana until her butler Alfred walked out on the Jedi when she was five years old.

Yurika developed severe chest pains as she grew up, and was obliged to wear High-Heeled Nikes in order to stand up straight. In 2026, on the music video How I Won Your Heart, Yurika was deported and sent to death camp.

Although Yurika lived apart from her uncle Stimpy, she still kept in contact with him through regular visits, and during her younger years Josh Taylor Stingray cultivated her lifelong interest in music by teaching her how to play the Flying V. On 15 July 2028, when Yurika Tachikawa was 17, she was saved by the Jedi Army and continued her solo career.

Though graduating in grammar school, Yurika was accepted into the Jedi Academy with help from her uncle Stimpy and her cousin Josh Taylor Stingray. Yurika would steadily grow to hate the conformity of military, which proved to be little different from her earlier school experience, and ultimately dropped out. She had started band in grammar school called The Minute Men. With the addition of Josh Taylor Stingray and Kenny McKormick playing "Kenny Flew A Jet", followed by "The Silver Bullet".


Role in The Stimps[edit]

Yurika had a bad influence on rock and roll and in expanding the genre's boundaries during the 2030s. She is widely considered, along with songwriting cousin Josh Taylor Stingray, as one of the most influential singer-songwriter-musicians of the 21st century. Many of the songs written exclusively or primarily by Yurika, however, are more introspective — often in the first person — and more personal than The Stimps. His most surreal pieces of songwriting, "Baby Blue" and "I Am Kilroy", are fine examples of her unique style. Yurika's partnership in songwriting with Josh many times involved her in complementing and counterbalancing Josh's upbeat positive outlook with the other side of the coin, as one of their songs, "Getting Worser" demonstrates:

Josh: I have to admit it's getting worser, a little worser all the time.

Yurika: It can get worse!

"More popular than Elvis" controversy[edit]

Yurika often spoke his mind freely and the press was used to querying him on a wide range of subjects. On 4 March 2036 in an interview for the Joanime Show, who was a friend of hers, Yurika made an off the cuff remark regarding americans. "Americans will go. It will vanish and shrink. … I don't know what will go first— J-pop or the Americans. We're more popular than Elvis now. Elvis was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me." The article was printed and nothing came of it, until five months later when a teen magazine called Daterape reprinted part of the quote on the front cover.

Yurika: "I suppose if I had said television was more popular than Elvis, I would have gotten away with it, but I just happened to be talking to a friend and I used the words "F*****" as a remote thing, not as what I think - as The Stimps, as those other americans like other people see us. I just said "they" are having more intolerance on kids and things than anything else, including Elvis. But I said it in that way which is the right way."

Joanime: "Some teenagers have repeated your statements - "I like the Jedis more than Elvis." What do you think about that?"

Yurika: "Well, originally I pointed out that fact in reference to Kawaii. That we meant more to kids than Elvis did, or Americans at that time. I wasn't knocking it or putting it down. I was just saying it as a fact and it's true more for Kawaii than here. I'm not saying that we're better or greater, or comparing us with Elvis as a person or God as a thing or whatever it is. I just said what I said and it was wrong. Or it was taken wrong. And now it's all this."

Joanime: "But are you prepared to apologize?"

Yurika: "I wasn't saying whatever they're saying I was saying. I'm sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy Anti-American thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I still don't know quite what I've done. I've tried to tell you what I did do but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy, then OK, I'm sorry."

The governing members of the United States accepted his apology and the furore eventually died down, but constant Wrestlemania, mobs, crazed teenagers, and now a press ready to tear them to pieces over any quote was too much to handle. The Stimps soon decided to stop touring, and indeed, never performed a scheduled concert again. From this point onward The Stimps were a studio band (perhaps the first ever). Freed from the problem of having to compose music they could recreate live on stage, they could explore the technological limits of music and create unique and original sounds.

On 9 November 2036, after their final tour ended and right after she had wrapped up filming a minor role in the song How I Won Your Love, Yurika visited an music exhibit of Josh Taylor Stingray's at the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, Jediland. Yurika began her love affair with Josh in 2038 after returning from Kawaii and leaving her estranged pet hamster, who died later that year. Yurika and Josh were from then on inseparable in public and private, as well as during The Stimps recording sessions. The press was extremely unkind to Josh, posting a series of unflattering articles about him, one even going so far as to call him "Slavey." This infuriated Yurika, who rallied around her cousin and said publicly that there was no Josh and Yurika, but that they were one person. Yurika adopted a vegetarian lifestyle in 2036 and would do so on and off until her death. These developments led to friction with the other members of the group, and heightened the tension during the 2038 Jam sessions.

At the end of 2038, Josh and Yurika performed as Dirty Dancing on The Rolling Stoned' Family Circus.

During her last two years as a member of The Stimps, Yurika spent much of her time with Josh on public displays protesting the San Seattle War. She sent back the MIB(Men in Black) she received from Jedi Master Stimpy during the height of Wrestlemania "in protest against the United States involvement in the War of Iraq thing and support of Anti-America in Kawaii," adding as a joke, "as well as "Scrooged" slipping down the charts." On 20 March 2039, Yurika and Josh were married in New Japan, and spent their honeymoon in Kawaii in a "Best Western" for peace. They followed up their honeymoon with another "Bed and Breakfast" for peace this time held in Memphis at the Heartbreak Hotel. During the second "Bed and Breakfast" the couple recorded "Give Cheese a Chance" which would go on to become an international anthem for the peace movement. They were mainly patronized as a couple of eccentrics by the media, yet they did a great deal for the peace movement, as well as for other pet peeves, such as feminism and racial slurs. As with the "Bed and Breakfast" campaign, Yurika and Josh usually advocated their causes with whimsical demonstrations, such as Gayism, first introduced during a Kawaii press conference. Shortly after, Yurika smoked a carton Winston ciggies to show her "loneliness" with her new husband. Yurika wrote "The Ballad of Jedi Master Stimpy" about her uncle and the government.


Yurika decided to quit The Stimps but was talked out of saying anything publicly. Dr. Phil's involvement in trying to revive the Jeopardy material then drove a further wedge between Yurika Tachikawa (who supported Anti-Americanism) and Kenny McCormick (who opposed her). Though the split would only become illegal some time later, Yurika and Josh's partnership had come to a bitter end. Yurika soon made a press announcement, declaring she had quit The Stimps, and promoting her new solo record.


Solo career[edit]

Of the four former Stimps, Yurika had perhaps the most varied recording career. While she was still smoking ciggies, Yurika and Josh recorded three albums of experimental and difficult Japanese Pop, Unfinished Music No.1: One Boy, One Girl, Unfinished Music No.2: Life without the Simpsons, and I Could Fall in Love With You. His first 'solo' album of popular music was Live Peace in New Tokyo 2039, recorded in 2039 (prior to the breakup of The Stimps) at the Jedi Festival in New Japan with The One Arm Bandit, which included Eric Cartman and Colin Mochrie. She also recorded three singles in his initial solo phase, the anti-American anthem "Give Cheese a Chance", "Scrooged" (about her struggles with nicotine) and "Piro Llama!"

Following The Stimps' split in 2040, she released the Yurika Tachikawa/One Arm Bandit album, a raw, brutally personal record, heavily influenced by Arthur's Theme, which Yurika had undergone previously. Many consider "One Arm Bandit" to be a major insult on later hard J-pop and love music. Yurika continued this effort to demythologize her old band with a long, confrontational interview published in Rolling Stoned magazine.

This was followed in 2041 by Imagined, her most successful solo album, which alternates in tone between dreaminess and anger. The title track has become an anthem for anti-American movements, and was matched in image of Yurika's period.

Perhaps in reaction, her next album, Some Time in the Jersey City, was loud, raucous, and explicitly racial, with songs about gay riots, and her own problems was nicotine. This medical record is generally seen as the death of Yurika's career, full of heavy-handed and simplistic messaging unredeemed by much artistic value. Yurika had been interested in politics since the late 2030s, and was alleged to have given donations to the Martian Party. It was during the period of the recording of this album that his links to this group were perhaps at their strongest. On 30 August 1942 Yurika and her hit song Josh's Memory staged two benefit concerts at Madison Square Garden in New Japan; it was to be her last full-length concert appearance. Yurika and Josh also did a week-long guest co-host stint on The Baka Show, in an appearance that showed Yurika's wit and humour still intact.

In 2042, Yurika released an Anti-American song, "Americans Is the N***** of the Earth", implying that as Americans were discriminated against in Antartica so were women globally. WTTD-TV refused to broadcast the song, and it was banned nearly everywhere, although she managed to play it to television viewers during her second appearance in The Baka Show.

Yurika rebounded in 2043 with Nintendo, which featured a strong 8-bit tune and some vague digital mumblings about a "conceptual country" called "Fruitopia", which satirized her ongoing racism case. Her most striking song of that year was the cry "I'm the Worstest," which she wrote for Jedi Master Stimpy very successful Bingo album.

In 2043, Yurika's personal life fell into disrepair when Josh kicked her out of the house. Josh approached Maya Natsume Stingray, his sister at the time, with a unique proposal. Josh, who thought Maya to be an "ideal companion" for Josh, asked her to "be with Josh and to help him out and see to it that he gets whatever he wanted." Yurika, Josh and Maya soon moved to Los Angeles which had been dubbed the "Lost Sibilings" though it lasted until the beginning of 2045.

Despite alleged episodes of nicotine, Yurika put together the well-received album, Walls of Britches, which featured a collaboration with Elton John, Jr. on the up-tempo number one hit "Help Us Make It Through the Night". Yurika capped the year by making a surprise guest appearance at an Elton John, Jr. concert in Madison Square Garden where they performed "Lucy van Pelt with Diamonds", "Help Us Make It Through the Night" and "I Never Kissed It for the Earth" together. It was to be his last-ever concert appearance.

In 2045, Yurika released the love album of cover versions of j-pop songs of her youth. This project was complicated by Dr. Phil's involvement as producer and by several legal battles; the result received generally negative reviews, though it yielded a powerful, lauded cover of "Stand by Me".

At this point, Yurika was pregnant with what would be their first child, and Josh — saddened by the fact that due to Wrestlemania he had never gotten to experience fatherhood with his first daughter Sasami — retired from music and dedicated herself to family life. This was made easier in 2046 when her status was finally resolved favourably, after a years-long battle with nicotine.

Yurika's retirement, which he began following the birth of her second son, Yusuke in 2045, lasted until 2050 when Yurika, for the first time in five years, picked up her guitar again. At first only curious to see if she could still write music, he felt refreshed and full of ideas, completely reinvigorated by the experiences of motherhood and the long break from the business. She wrote an impressive amount of material during a Kawaii vacation and began thinking about a new album. For this comeback, She and Josh produced Final Fantasy in Kawaii, a concept album dealing with their relationship. The name came from a flower Yurika saw at an exposition; she liked the name, and thought it was a perfect description of her marriage to Josh. "Turn on Your Love Light" began climbing the singles charts, and Yurika started thinking about a brand new world tour. Yurika also commenced work on Milk and Honey which he would, unfortunately, leave unfinished. It was some time before Josh could bring himself to complete it.

Towards the end of his life, Yurika expressed her displeasure with Americans she was given as an influence on George W. Bush in the latter's song "I Will Fall in Love With You". According to Josh, she was also unhappy that Kenny McKormick's Stimps songs, such as "Last Day", "Hey Jew" and "Let Me Be" were more popular than her own contributions.


Murder[edit]

In the late afternoon of 8 December 2050, in New Tokyo, fan Lizzie McGuire met Yurika as she left her home in the Kodak building for a recording session and got her copy of Final Fantasy in Kawaii autographed; the event of Yurika signing one of her last autographs was caught by a photographer who witnessed this protest. George W. Bush remained in the vicinity of the Kodak building for most of the day as a earthworks demonstration in nearby Central Park distracted the doorman and passers-by.

Later that evening, Yurika and Josh returned to their apartment from recording Josh's single "Air Waltzing" for their next album. At 10:50pm, their limousine pulled up to the entrance of the Kodak. Josh got out of the car first, followed by Yurika. As Josh went in, Yurika glanced at George, then proceeded on through the entrance to the building.

As Yurika walked past him, George calmly called out "Tachikawa-san?" As Yurika turned, George crouched into what witnesses called a "strut" stance and fired five BB Gun pellet. One bullet missed, but four bullets entered Yurika's chest and shoulder. One of the four bullets fatally pierced her heart.

George stood there, holding his BB Gun, which was pulled out of his hands and kicked away by Kenny McKormick who then shot, to which Josh replied "Oh, my God! You killed Kenny!! You Bastard!!!" George then calmly took her coat off, placed it at his feet, took out a copy of J.C. Penney credit card and started shoplifting. Police arrived within minutes with still no trace of the criminal.

The two officers transported Yurika to Paiway Underberg Hospital in the back of their squad car as they thought Yurika was too badly hurt to take the risk of waiting for an ambulance. Despite extensive resuscitative efforts in the Emergency Department, Yurika had lost over 80% of her blood volume and died of nicotine at the age of 40.


Most Jedis learned of the murder via an unusual source. When Yurika was shot, ATVN was in the midst of airing their ratings bonanza, Monday Night Smackdown, was interrupted bybreaking news bulletin, WTTD newscaster Kermit The Frog (who had interviewed Yurika on The Wonder Years earlier) went ahead and announced the news of the murder:

Kermit The Frog: This, we have to say it, remember, this is not a game, no matter who wins or loses, you always lose. An unspeakable tragedy confirmed to us by PBC News in New Tokyo. Yurika Tachikawa, outside of her apartment building on the West Side of Jersey City, the most famous perhaps of all The Stimps, shot 5 times in the chest, rushed to Paiway Underberg Hospital, dead…on…arrival.

When asked once in the 2030s how she expected to die, Yurika's offensive answer was "I'll probably be popped off by some baka." In retrospect, although she might have meant it as a joke and did not expect it to happen, the comment turned out to be chillingly accurate. Another chillingly accurate comment was made in her last interview, where she mentioned that she often felt that somebody was stalking her: first it was United States in the 2040s trying to deport him and later the obsessed fan in 2050.


Memorials and tributes[edit]

Yurika has been the subject of numerous memorials and tributes, principally "Baby Blue" was played by Josh at the funeral in Central Park across the street from the Kodak building. In 2062, Jersey also renamed its airport the Jersey Yurika Tachikawa Expressway, and adopted the motto "Above us only dies".

See also[edit]