From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
Zangetsu after the Kurosaki drug scandal.

Zangetsu "Scary Old Man" Zanpakuto is a sixty-year-old man who is currently stalking popular male model Ichigo Kurosaki. After his involvement in the Kurosaki drug scandal he disappeared onto the streets of Tokyo. He claims that when Mr. Kurosaki is sad, it rains, and he wanted nothing more than to spare his city a flood of "biblical proportions". Mr. Kurosaki responded with a 200 ft. restraining order.


Zangetsu looks and acts like a drug-addled tramp. He wears a tattered coat that he found behind this guy's house, and sunglasses modeled by Mr. Kurosaki himself. It is unknown where he found awesome shades like these; they grant +5 swiftness and make everything look all yellow. He also carries a rusty old sword that is believed to be stolen from the local museum. He is a menace and must be destroyed.


He is currently living on the side of a building on a window washing platform, where he can peer into people's windows.

Zangetsu during his better years.

Kurosaki Drug Scandal[edit]

According to eyewitness accounts and the court record, Zangetsu discovered the hotel where Mr. Kurosaki was spending the night (with Paris Hilton). Posing as room service, he slipped some "soul candy" into Mr. Kurosaki's drink, turning him into a bathrobe-wearing maniac who was ranting about ghosts and "hollows". In the ensuing court case, he plead insanity, which isn't too far-fetched considering the debilitating effect of his yellow shades combined with kitten residue on his jacket. He got fined $500,000 and, of course being unable to pay it off, is now on the run from the law.

Influence on the Fashion World[edit]

All this drama caught the attention of famous fashion designer Tite Kubo. Inspired by this piss-drunk hobo, he created a line of hobo jackets lined with paper bags and made of 100% recycled beer cans. Needless to say his idea was a resounding failure, and Mr. Kurosaki was nearly stoned to death while modeling the jacket in Arizona.

Ichigo Kurosaki narrowly avoids death by stoning in Arizona.