Difference between revisions of "Everybody"

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
 
(URGH! (A Music War))
Line 1: Line 1:
  +
{{Rewrite}}
 
[[Image:earth.jpg||thumb|right|300px|Approximately half of everybody, as seen from space.]]
 
[[Image:earth.jpg||thumb|right|300px|Approximately half of everybody, as seen from space.]]
 
{{Q|In Soviet Russia, you hate everyone!!|Television|everybody.}}
 
{{Q|...|Gordan Freeman|Everybody}}
 
{{Q|Everybody wang chung tonight!|Anonymous|everybody}}
 
{{Q|Screw you!|Bill O'Reilly|everybody}}
 
{{Q|Everybody gay!|Peter Griffin|men who attend [[Cher]] concerts}}
 
{{Q|Everybody is everyone person who exists|Captain Obvious|Everybody}}
 
{{Q|Captain Obvious is a foolish douche|Everybody|Captain Obvious}}
 
 
   
 
At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that ''X'' is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and [[Nobody|nobody is perfect]]. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted.
 
At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that ''X'' is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and [[Nobody|nobody is perfect]]. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted.
Line 19: Line 11:
 
''"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won."''
 
''"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won."''
 
'''''~ [[Anonymous]]'''''
 
'''''~ [[Anonymous]]'''''
 
 
== Facts about Everybody: ==
 
* Everybody knows that the bird is the word
 
* Everybody in da club gettin' tipsy
 
* Everybody thinks your ass is huge.
 
* Everybody wants to be a cat.
 
* Everbody is fat.
 
* Everybody hates [[George Bush]].
 
* Everybody hates Chris.
 
* Everybody loves [[Raymond]].
 
* Everybody has mixed emotions about [[Charlie Sheen]]
 
* Everybody also hates [[Elmo]].
 
* Everybody needs somebody to lean on.
 
* Everybody [[House_M.D.|lies.]]
 
* Everybody hates [[you]].
 
* Everybody is a star in their own mind.
 
* Everybody loves a slinky.
 
* Everybody must get stoned.
 
* Everybody is going to dance tonight.
 
* Everybody is on the FBI's most wanted list.
 
* Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
 
* Everybody wants to rule the world.
 
* Everybody is a genius and an idiot.
 
* Everybody is the equivalent of Chuck Norris.
 
* Everybody needs [[somebody]] sometimes.
 
* Saving the Earth is everybody's job.
 
* When in clubs, everybody is frequently urged to engage in such behavior as clapping their hands and saying "yeah!".
 
* Everybody wants to eat your bawls.
 
* Everybody hurts and cries, sometimes.
 
* Everybody is a kid at heart.
 
* Everybody's after me...
 
* Everybody's after [[you]]
 
* If its possible everybody can do it.
 
* Everybody is [[somewhere]].
 
* Everybody's a critic.
 
* Everybody knows that everybody dies, and the Doctor more than most.
 
* Everybody is Nelly Furtado at weekends.
 
* Everybody does it.
 
* Yet everybody doesn't.
 
* Everybody does your Mom at sometime.
 
* Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey.
 
* Everybody may or may not have two [[legs]].
 
* Everybody is pitied by [[Mr T]].
 
* Everybody is laughing at you behind your back.
 
* Everybody must rock their body, because Backstreet's back. Alright.
 
* Just because everybody is doing it, doesn't mean you should too.
 
* Just kidding. Everybody's doing it, so you should too!
 
* Everybody is doing the [[fish]]. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
 
* Everybody sings the blues, sometimes.
 
* Everybody consists mainly of [[water]].
 
* If everybody can't do it, [[no one]] can.
 
* Everybody is over 9001.
 
* Everybody speaks a language.
 
* Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting.
 
* Those cats were fast as lightning.
 
* Everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed in school.
 
* Everybody could use a new set of kitchen knives from that [[Billy Mays|infomercial]].
 
* Steve Ballmer has vowed to Fucking Kill™ him.
 
* Everybody likes [[sex]].
 
* Everybody should read [[Nietzsche]].
 
* Everybody's got a [[brain]], except [[George Dubya Bush|the president]].
 
* Everybody poops (allegedly).
 
* Everybody masturbates (religiously).
 
* Everybody is Nyxa's father.
 
* Everybody is a level 70 Shaman.
 
* Everybody summons pianos to do his dirty work.
 
* Everybody is really a female male impersonator that also happens to work for the goverment.
 
* Everybody is not related to you in anyway.
 
* Everybody [[kitten huffing|huffs kittens]].
 
* Everybody is both male and female, thus making him a hermaphrodite.
 
* Everybody's everywhere.
 
* Everybody's gonna live today, love today. (thanks to Mika)
 
* Everybody's never gunna give you up.
 
* Everybody's nobody till somebody kills him.
 
* Everybody's gonna have a good time tonight just shaking the soles of his feet.
 
* Everyone's a little bit racist.
 
* Everybody loves the Pennsylvania Polka!
 
* Everybody is wrong.
 
* [[Nobody Cares|Everybody doesn't care]].
 
* Everybody happy!
 
* Everybody gay!
 
* Evweybody woves [[Homestar Runner]]
 
* Everybody who just read all the above facts has no life.
 
* Everybody was born [[yesterday]]
 
* Everybody knows the [[cake]] is a lie
 
   
 
==See Also==
 
==See Also==
Line 115: Line 21:
 
* [[Dolphin]]
 
* [[Dolphin]]
 
* [[Everyone]]
 
* [[Everyone]]
* [[Acorns]]
 
 
* [[?]]
 
* [[?]]
* [[^__^]]
 
 
   
 
[[Category:People]]
 
[[Category:People]]
 
[[Category:Language]]
 
[[Category:Language]]
 
[[Category:Things George Bush doesn't care about]]
 
[[Category:Things George Bush doesn't care about]]
[[Category:People who have had sex with Mrs. Cartman]]
 
   
 
[[zh:所有人]]
 
[[zh:所有人]]

Revision as of 23:23, 4 April 2009

Template:Rewrite/Soft


Approximately half of everybody, as seen from space.

At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that X is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and nobody is perfect. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted. Everybody is also known to go to every party, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol. Basically, for everything you can name, "everybody is doing it." That means not you.

However, the fact is, if you don't know what an everybody is, you probably aren't one yourself. Take a look out your window. Do you see all those people there, laughing and standing in a group that you aren't a part of? That's everybody.

There is a ray of hope, though, if you are someone else who is not everybody, written by Anonymous for people who royally screw up and get others killed. There are three other characters in this story, who are Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. And, here, you can experience the admiration Anonymous had for Everybody.

"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won." ~ Anonymous

See Also