Difference between revisions of "Everybody"

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(need those, don't need that. Have fun.)
 
(no really)
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<div style="margin-left: 60px;">For those who are easily amused, [[Uncyclopedia]] has a [[Special:Random|totally unrelated article]] about: '''{{User:Cajek/randomfeatured}}'''</div>
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[[Image:ebd1.jpg|right|thumb|400px|If we could see everybody, it would probably look like this.]]
 
[[Image:ebd1.jpg|right|thumb|400px|If we could see everybody, it would probably look like this.]]
   
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{{Q|Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.|Divine Intervention|What is it Everybody Knows But I Don't}}
 
{{Q|Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.|Divine Intervention|What is it Everybody Knows But I Don't}}
   
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==Introduction to Everybody==
At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that ''X'' is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and [[Nobody|nobody is perfect]]. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted.
 
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[[Image:stand-out-in-the-crowd-300x300.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Are you YOU or are you Everybody?]]
Everybody is also known to go to every party, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol. Basically, for everything you can name, "everybody is doing it." That means not you.
 
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Everybody thinks they have the right idea, but most don't realise they are living in a post-modern world where nothing new can happen. It's the age old question: ''What does everybody know that I don't''? In this short introduction, we shall explore the many meanings of 'Everybody' and provide if we can examples of use and misuse of the word. First, a short history.
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===A Short History===
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Historically, the first known use of the word 'Everybody' was when there was at least 5 humans walking the earth. We estimate it was sometime before Noah and his boat, and probably after Moses. We can't be sure as the Divine Intervention placed the records of the original history of Everybody into the Ark of the Covenant, and Everybody knows that was abducted by the [[Wah Wah Boing Boing]] of yester-year, (See Bernard; p. 001, vol. 1001011010009910099111328844). There was nothing of Everybody noted after this point until just now. What we DO know, is Everybody is blue, where as individuals are yellow. (see illustration, on the right)
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==Definition==
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'''Pronunciation'''
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Eve•ry•bod•y: (ev'rē-'''bod'''"ē, -''bud''"ē)
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''''Everybody' isn't the easiest word to pronounce''' so we have included a sample of the word being used in context to help you listen and repeat. Early tests have shown 9 out of 10 members of the population managed to pronounce 'Everybody' dead, possibily during a CIA investigation (episode 45.8:154).
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[http://www.peterandellen.com/lyrics/helloeverybody.mp3 Please click hear for a sample of the word 'Everybody' as sung in the ''Everbody National Anthem'']
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Everybody could be: '''a''' The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal; '''b''' The physical part of a person; '''c''' A human; a person; '''d''' A group of individuals regarded as an entity (see [[Alien]]); a corporation (see [[Government]]); '''e''' A mass of matter that is distinct from other masses: a body of water; a celestial body; the body of evidence; a sauce with body; a saucy body. However, it is scientifically impossible for Everybody to be the same thing.
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==Legend==
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[[Image:The_Battle_of_Lepanto_Veronese.jpg|left|thumb|180px|The Great Battle of Everybody, as in the Legend.]]
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As the legend goes, in the beginning there was nothing at all, and then God made everything and ''Everybody''. God required the assistance of ''Somebody'' within ''Everybody'', to help with the ongoing maintenance of everything. So a rib was cast out of ''Everybody'' to create the [[Trinity]]; '''Anybody'''; '''Somebody'''; '''Nobody'''.
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Many centuries later, it transpired ''Anybody'' could have assisted in God's great work, but ''Nobody'' bothered. It was said ''Everybody'' was distressed at this and so the battle of ''Somebody'' and ''Nobody'' ensued. Little did ''Nobody'' know ''Everybody'' did it, because ''Nobody'' believed he was ''Everybody''. Before ''Somebody'' and ''Anybody'' became ''Everybody'', they were doomed by the fact, although ''Everybody'' blamed ''Somebody'' because ''Nobody'' did the job, ''Nobody'' really asked ''Anybody'' to do it. And now ''Everybody'', plauged by ''Anybody'' with ''Somebody'', had no choice but to carry this burden into all eternity, as God's wrath was smitted upon all nations. ''Everybody'' lost, and ''Nobody'' won.
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==Brain Washing==
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[http://www.songsforteaching.com/sharonloisbram/s/everybodyhappy.mp3 Please click to hear 'Everybody Brain Washing' sound file from the archives of Brain Washing and other Torture]
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In 1966, Everybody was seen along with gang members Trinity (Anybody, Somebody and the notorious Nobody) who got together and made a recording of a seriously serious chant, which then converted using the rodin coil was implanted into the brain of Everybody, in order for Everybody to have no control over what they did. Instead, they are in a perpetual cycle of repeating the same three actions (we have decoded the Brain Washing chant below)
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"''Today is Saturday, Today is Saturday
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Saturday is shoppin’!
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''Friday Pay Day''!
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Thursday [[soup]]
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''Wednesday the gardenin''’
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Tuesday the ironin’
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''Monday the washin''’
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[[
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Everybody]] happy?''"
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'Happiness' is often coupled with 'Everybody', believed to be some form of mind altering state where individuals take on a personality which seems to radiate joy from carrying out tasks which can only be described as [[slavery]]. '''Help IS available''',
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[http://www.talkingwav.com/answermachine/ans_42.wav Please click here and leave a message.]
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==Further Reading==
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[[Image:EverybodyPoops.jpg|right|thumb|120px|The Great book of Everybody Poops, an illustrated reference guide to further information about Everybody.]]
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[[Image:everybody-hates-you.jpg|left|thumb|120px|Love or Hate, Everybody does it.]]
   
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A lot of information is available to Everybody, about Everybody, but more often than not most return to quite possibily the best reference available on the internet today, ''Everybody Poops'' (see right). The scientists and researchers of this article poured extensively over this Great Work, and we have conclusively concluded there are many conspiracies in the world as we know it (2.8 million about Everybody alone) so when one can find evidence to help untangle the tangles, one should poop, as so many, (and infact Everybody), does. There is no shame in it what-so-ever.
However, the fact is, if you don't know what an everybody is, you probably aren't one yourself. Take a look out your window. Do you see all those people there, laughing and standing in a group that you aren't a part of? That's everybody.Not you.
 
   
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Contrary to this, Malcome the dog nextdoor, (famous for collecting cans of beans and other things) thinks Everybdy should Love Everybody - and yet there are underground movements reported to be going on about how Everybody Hates Everybody else, and it's the only way forward for equal rights amongst individuals who refuse to pay taxes. The message of love and understanding is often lost. If only Everybody had a friend who was all ears.
There is a ray of hope, though, if you are someone else who is not everybody, written by [[Anonymous]] for people who royally screw up and get others killed. There are three other characters in this story, who are Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. And, here, you can experience the admiration Anonymous had for Everybody.It's really a very inspiring story.
 
   
''"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won."''
 
   
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==The Word of God For Everybody==
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[[Image:ignore-everybody-0905jpeg.jpg|right|thumb|200px|If Everybody followed these three simple rules, we'd be fine.]]
   
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In [[1999]] AD, Someone really important (many think the Divine Intervention himself) found a Mac and created this little graphic, using a variety of fonts all which were used no doubt to give the document a 'naturally hand-written' creation. Although, to standards Everybody is acustomed to nowadays, this article seems almost primitive, in principle, the message is the same. In 2000, the year Everybody thought would be the end of everything, a new release was released and it is believed this is the one still in circulation to today, (the one illustrated here isn't the one) but really, Everybody = all things and nothing, one should just maybe read about it then on the whole, ignore Everybody.
Everybody: All people who inhabit earth... Simple.
 
 
'''''~ [[Anonymous]]'''''
 
   
 
==See Also==
 
==See Also==
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* [[Nobody]]
 
* [[Nobody]]
 
* [[Everyone]]
 
* [[Everyone]]
* [[No one]]
 
   
 
[[zh:所有人]]
 
[[zh:所有人]]
[[zh-tw:所有人]]
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[[zh-tw:所有人]]
 
[[Category:People]]
 
[[Category:People]]
 
[[Category:Language]]
 
[[Category:Language]]

Revision as of 17:08, 4 September 2009

Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext.png
For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about: User:Cajek/randomfeatured
If we could see everybody, it would probably look like this.

“This includes me, even you at the back.”

~ Everybody on Everybody

“I'm Everybody.”

~ God on Everybody

“Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.”

~ The Reaper on Everybody and Nobody

“Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.”

~ Divine Intervention on What is it Everybody Knows But I Don't

Introduction to Everybody

Are you YOU or are you Everybody?

Everybody thinks they have the right idea, but most don't realise they are living in a post-modern world where nothing new can happen. It's the age old question: What does everybody know that I don't? In this short introduction, we shall explore the many meanings of 'Everybody' and provide if we can examples of use and misuse of the word. First, a short history.

A Short History

Historically, the first known use of the word 'Everybody' was when there was at least 5 humans walking the earth. We estimate it was sometime before Noah and his boat, and probably after Moses. We can't be sure as the Divine Intervention placed the records of the original history of Everybody into the Ark of the Covenant, and Everybody knows that was abducted by the Wah Wah Boing Boing of yester-year, (See Bernard; p. 001, vol. 1001011010009910099111328844). There was nothing of Everybody noted after this point until just now. What we DO know, is Everybody is blue, where as individuals are yellow. (see illustration, on the right)

Definition

Pronunciation Eve•ry•bod•y: (ev'rē-bod"ē, -bud"ē)

'Everybody' isn't the easiest word to pronounce so we have included a sample of the word being used in context to help you listen and repeat. Early tests have shown 9 out of 10 members of the population managed to pronounce 'Everybody' dead, possibily during a CIA investigation (episode 45.8:154).

Please click hear for a sample of the word 'Everybody' as sung in the Everbody National Anthem

Everybody could be: a The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal; b The physical part of a person; c A human; a person; d A group of individuals regarded as an entity (see Alien); a corporation (see Government); e A mass of matter that is distinct from other masses: a body of water; a celestial body; the body of evidence; a sauce with body; a saucy body. However, it is scientifically impossible for Everybody to be the same thing.

Legend

The Great Battle of Everybody, as in the Legend.

As the legend goes, in the beginning there was nothing at all, and then God made everything and Everybody. God required the assistance of Somebody within Everybody, to help with the ongoing maintenance of everything. So a rib was cast out of Everybody to create the Trinity; Anybody; Somebody; Nobody.

Many centuries later, it transpired Anybody could have assisted in God's great work, but Nobody bothered. It was said Everybody was distressed at this and so the battle of Somebody and Nobody ensued. Little did Nobody know Everybody did it, because Nobody believed he was Everybody. Before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, had no choice but to carry this burden into all eternity, as God's wrath was smitted upon all nations. Everybody lost, and Nobody won.

Brain Washing

Please click to hear 'Everybody Brain Washing' sound file from the archives of Brain Washing and other Torture

In 1966, Everybody was seen along with gang members Trinity (Anybody, Somebody and the notorious Nobody) who got together and made a recording of a seriously serious chant, which then converted using the rodin coil was implanted into the brain of Everybody, in order for Everybody to have no control over what they did. Instead, they are in a perpetual cycle of repeating the same three actions (we have decoded the Brain Washing chant below)

"Today is Saturday, Today is Saturday

Saturday is shoppin’!

Friday Pay Day!

Thursday soup

Wednesday the gardenin

Tuesday the ironin’

Monday the washin’ [[ Everybody]] happy?"

'Happiness' is often coupled with 'Everybody', believed to be some form of mind altering state where individuals take on a personality which seems to radiate joy from carrying out tasks which can only be described as slavery. Help IS available, Please click here and leave a message.

Further Reading

The Great book of Everybody Poops, an illustrated reference guide to further information about Everybody.
Love or Hate, Everybody does it.

A lot of information is available to Everybody, about Everybody, but more often than not most return to quite possibily the best reference available on the internet today, Everybody Poops (see right). The scientists and researchers of this article poured extensively over this Great Work, and we have conclusively concluded there are many conspiracies in the world as we know it (2.8 million about Everybody alone) so when one can find evidence to help untangle the tangles, one should poop, as so many, (and infact Everybody), does. There is no shame in it what-so-ever.

Contrary to this, Malcome the dog nextdoor, (famous for collecting cans of beans and other things) thinks Everybdy should Love Everybody - and yet there are underground movements reported to be going on about how Everybody Hates Everybody else, and it's the only way forward for equal rights amongst individuals who refuse to pay taxes. The message of love and understanding is often lost. If only Everybody had a friend who was all ears.


The Word of God For Everybody

If Everybody followed these three simple rules, we'd be fine.

In 1999 AD, Someone really important (many think the Divine Intervention himself) found a Mac and created this little graphic, using a variety of fonts all which were used no doubt to give the document a 'naturally hand-written' creation. Although, to standards Everybody is acustomed to nowadays, this article seems almost primitive, in principle, the message is the same. In 2000, the year Everybody thought would be the end of everything, a new release was released and it is believed this is the one still in circulation to today, (the one illustrated here isn't the one) but really, Everybody = all things and nothing, one should just maybe read about it then on the whole, ignore Everybody.

See Also