Difference between revisions of "Everybody"

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[[Image:ebd1.jpg|right|thumb|400px|If we could see everybody, it would probably look like this.]]
{{Q|This includes me, even you at the back.|Everybody|Everybody}}
{{Q|EVERYBODY RUN! IT'S A MONSTER!| ET on "How I returned the favor to Everybody" }}
{{Q|I'm In Everybody.|God|Everybody}}
{{Q|I'm not.|Nobody|above quote|}}
{{Q|Pervert|Joseph Fritzel|God}}
{{Q|Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.|The Reaper|Everybody and Nobody}}
{{Q|Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.|Divine Intervention|What is it Everybody Knows But I Don't}}
{{Q|Everybody wang chung tonight.|[[Frasier|Frasier Crane]]|everybody}}
==Introduction to Everybody==
[[Image:stand-out-in-the-crowd-300x300.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Are you YOU or are you Everybody?]]
Everybody thinks they have the right idea, but most don't realise they are living in a post-modern world where nothing new can happen. It's the age old question: ''What does everybody know that I don't''? In this short introduction, we shall explore the many meanings of 'Everybody' and provide if we can examples of use and misuse of the word. First, a short history.
===A Short History===
Historically, the first known use of the word 'Everybody' was when there was at least 5 humans walking the earth. We estimate it was sometime before Noah and his boat, and probably after Moses. We can't be sure as the Divine Intervention placed the records of the original history of Everybody into the Ark of the Covenant, and Everybody knows that was abducted by the [[Wah Wah Boing Boing]] of yester-year, (See Bernard; p. 001, vol. 1001011010009910099111328844). There was nothing of Everybody noted after this point until just now. What we DO know, is Everybody is blue, where as individuals are yellow. (see illustration, on the right)
==Where is Everybody?==
All people on earth actually derive from a species of fish-monkey called the "Dildo fucking saurus fucking I know I spelled Saurus wrong but I dont care alpha bannana poop and then some REX" so therefore we all reside in a section of Chuck Norris's beard called "THE ROOM OF Math problems"
Eve•ry•bod•y: (ev'rē-'''bod'''"ē, -''bud''"ē)
''''Everybody' isn't the easiest word to pronounce''' so we have included a sample of the word being used in context to help you listen and repeat. Early tests have shown 9 out of 10 members of the population managed to pronounce 'Everybody' dead, possibily during a CIA investigation (episode 45.8:154).
[http://www.peterandellen.com/lyrics/helloeverybody.mp3 Please click hear for a sample of the word 'Everybody' as sung in the ''Everbody National Anthem'']
Everybody could be: '''a''' The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal; '''b''' The physical part of a person; '''c''' A human; a person; '''d''' A group of individuals regarded as an entity (see [[Alien]]); a corporation (see [[Government]]); '''e''' A mass of matter that is distinct from other masses: a body of water; a celestial body; the body of evidence; a sauce with body; a saucy body. However, it is scientifically impossible for Everybody to be the same thing.
[[Image:The_Battle_of_Lepanto_Veronese.jpg|left|thumb|180px|The Great Battle of Everybody, as in the Legend.]]
As the legend goes, in the beginning there was nothing at all, and then God made everything and ''Everybody''. God required the assistance of ''Somebody'' within ''Everybody'', to help with the ongoing maintenance of everything. So a rib was cast out of ''Everybody'' to create the [[Trinity]]; '''Anybody'''; '''Somebody'''; '''Nobody'''.
Many centuries later, it transpired ''Anybody'' could have assisted in God's great work, but ''Nobody'' bothered. It was said ''Everybody'' was distressed at this and so the battle of ''Somebody'' and ''Nobody'' ensued. Little did ''Nobody'' know ''Everybody'' did it, because ''Nobody'' believed he was ''Everybody''. Before ''Somebody'' and ''Anybody'' became ''Everybody'', they were doomed by the fact, although ''Everybody'' blamed ''Somebody'' because ''Nobody'' did the job, ''Nobody'' really asked ''Anybody'' to do it. And now ''Everybody'', plauged by ''Anybody'' with ''Somebody'', had no choice but to carry this burden into all eternity, as God's wrath was smitted upon all nations. ''Everybody'' lost, and ''Nobody'' won.
==Brain Washing==
[http://www.songsforteaching.com/sharonloisbram/s/everybodyhappy.mp3 Please click to hear 'Everybody Brain Washing' sound file from the archives of Brain Washing and other Torture]
In 1966, Everybody was seen along with gang members Trinity (Anybody, Somebody and the notorious Nobody) who got together and made a recording of a seriously serious chant, which then converted using the rodin coil was implanted into the brain of Everybody, in order for Everybody to have no control over what they did. Instead, they are in a perpetual cycle of repeating the same three actions (we have decoded the Brain Washing chant below)
"''Today is Saturday, Today is Saturday
Saturday is shoppin’!
''Friday Pay Day''!
Thursday [[soup]]
''Wednesday the gardenin''’
Tuesday the ironin’
''Monday the washin''’
Everybody happy?''"
'Happiness' is often coupled with 'Everybody', believed to be some form of mind altering state where individuals take on a personality which seems to radiate joy from carrying out tasks which can only be described as [[slavery]]. '''Help IS available''',
[http://www.talkingwav.com/answermachine/ans_42.wav Please click here and leave a message.]
==Further Reading==
[[Image:EverybodyPoops.jpg|right|thumb|120px|The Great book of Everybody Poops, an illustrated reference guide to further information about Everybody.]]
[[Image:everybody-hates-you.jpg|left|thumb|120px|Love or Hate, Everybody does it.]]
A lot of information is available to Everybody, about Everybody, but more often than not most return to quite possibly the best reference available on the internet today, ''Everybody Poops'' (see right). The scientists and researchers of this article poured extensively over this Great Work, and we have conclusively concluded there are many conspiracies in the world as we know it (2.8 million about Everybody alone) so when one can find evidence to help untangle the tangles, one should poop, as so many, (and in fact Everybody), does. There is no shame in it what-so-ever.
Contrary to this, Malcome the dog next door, (famous for collecting cans of beans and other things) thinks Everybody should Love Everybody - and yet there are underground movements reported to be going on about how Everybody Hates Everybody else, and it's the only way forward for equal rights amongst individuals who refuse to pay taxes. The message of love and understanding is often lost. If only Everybody had a friend who was all ears.
==The Word of God For Everybody==
[[Image:ignore-everybody-0905jpeg.jpg|right|thumb|200px|If Everybody followed these three simple rules, we'd be fine.]]
In [[1999]] AD, Someone really important (many think the Divine Intervention himself) found a Mac and created this little graphic, using a variety of fonts all which were used no doubt to give the document a 'naturally hand-written' creation. Although, to standards Everybody is acustomed to nowadays, this article seems almost primitive, in principle, the message is the same. In [[2000]], the year Everybody thought would be the end of everything, a new release was released and it is believed this is the one still in circulation to today, (the one illustrated here isn't the one) but really, Everybody = all things and nothing, one should just maybe read about it then on the whole, ignore Everybody.
==See Also==
* [[Elsewhere]]
* [[Everyone]]
* [[Penguins]]
* [[Someone]]
* [[Nobody]]
* [[Everyone]]
* [[Everyone is Hitler]]
[[Category:Things that God hates according to Fred Phelps]]

Revision as of 02:06, 15 May 2010