Difference between revisions of "Everybody"

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[[Image:earth.jpg||thumb|right|300px|Approximately half of everybody, as seen from space.]]
 
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<div style="float: left;">[[Image:Uncyclopedia_Puzzle_Potato_Notext.png|50px|none|]]</div>
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<div style="margin-left: 60px;">For those who are easily amused, [[Uncyclopedia]] has a [[Special:Random|totally unrelated article]] about: '''{{User:Cajek/randomfeatured}}'''</div>
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[[Image:ebd1.jpg|right|thumb|400px|If we could see everybody, it would probably look like this.]]
{{Q|In Soviet Russia, everybody kills YOU!!|Television|everybody.}}
 
{{Q|...|Gordan Freeman|Everybody}}
 
{{Q|Everybody wang chung tonight!|Anonymous|everybody}}
 
{{Q|Screw you!|Bill O'Reilly|everybody}}
 
{{Q|Everybody gay!|Peter Griffin|people who attend [[Cher]] concerts}}
 
   
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{{Q|This includes me, even you at the back.|Everybody|Everybody}}
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{{Q|Its more than one person.|[[Captain Understatement]]|Everybody}}
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{{Q|I'm not.|Hugh Hefner|above quote|}}
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{{Q|Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.|Divine Intervention|What is it Everybody Knows But I Don't}}
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{{Q|They're all bastards.|Me|Everybody}}
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{{Q|Everybody, la-dee-do-dee-do.|Homestar Runner|Everybody}}
   
At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that ''X'' is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and [[Nobody|nobody is perfect]]. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted.
 
Everybody is also known to go to every party, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol. Basically, for everything you can name, "everybody is doing it." That means not you.
 
   
  +
==Introduction to Everybody==
However, the fact is, if you don't know what an everybody is, you probably aren't one yourself. Take a look out your window. Do you see all those people there, laughing and standing in a group that you aren't a part of? That's everybody.
 
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[[Image:stand-out-in-the-crowd-300x300.jpg|right|thumb|150px|Are you YOU or are you Everybody?]]
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Everybody thinks they have the right idea, but most don't realize they are living in a post-modern world where nothing new can happen. It's the age old question: ''What does everybody know that I don't''? In this short introduction, we shall explore the many meanings of 'Everybody' and provide if we can examples of use and misuse of the word. First, a short history.
   
  +
===A Short History===
There is a ray of hope, though, if you are someone else who is not everybody, written by [[Anonymous]] for people who royally screw up and get others killed. There are three other characters in this story, who are Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. And, here, you can experience the admiration Anonymous had for Everybody.
 
   
  +
Historically, the first known use of the word 'Everybody' was when there was at least 5 humans walking the earth. Many people say it was after Adams kids had [[incest]] with their mother. This means that by everbody, it means only if you have molested your Mum/Kids. Everybody became most people when political correctness came into power, then nobody when [[Facism]] and [[Communism]] became relevant. This can be found in page 667 of the bible, as 666 was filled with how to worship the [[Devil]]. But everyone on the internet is an atheist, a stoner, a follower of Raptor Jesus, or an annoying overly Christian child under the age of fifteen while they are on the internet regardless of how they are when they are off. This lead to the era of “Not giving a fuck” witch did not disprove this theory, but made it uninteresting and utterly useless to modern day people.
''"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won."''
 
'''''~ [[Anonymous]]'''''
 
   
  +
He is the arch nemesis of [[Nobody]].
   
== Facts about Everybody: ==
+
==Where is Everybody?==
  +
Arguably one of the most famous conundrums to ever hit the world of Everybody: the disappearance of the entire population of [[Neverland]] (the World, for you slow ones). Many scientists have dated this phenomenon back to the era of the [[Cavemen]], for studies have shown that the rate of ditching fellow cavemen had increased ten-fold in that era. There would, however, always be one "confused individual" left behind to wonder: "Where is Everybody?".
* Everbody knows that the bird is the word
 
  +
* Everybody thinks your ass is huge.
 
  +
==Definition==
* Everybody wants to be a cat.
 
  +
* Everybody hates Chris.
 
  +
'''Pronunciation'''
* Everybody loves [[Raymond]].
 
  +
E'er•bod•y: (ev'rē-'''bod'''"ē, -''bud''"ē)
* Everybody also hates [[Elmo]].
 
  +
* [[Everybody Has A General Feeling of Dislike Toward Bonnie Hunt]].
 
  +
''''Everybody' isn't the easiest word to pronounce''' so we have included a sample of the word being used in context to help you listen and repeat. Early tests have shown 9 out of 10 members of the population managed to pronounce 'Everybody' dead, possibly during a CIA investigation (episode 45.8:154).
* Everybody needs somebody to lean on.
 
  +
* Everybody [[House_M.D.|lies.]]
 
  +
[http://www.peterandellen.com/lyrics/helloeverybody.mp3 Please click hear for a sample of the word 'Everybody' as sung in the ''Everybody National Anthem'']
* Everybody hates [[you]].
 
  +
* Everybody is a star in their own mind.
 
  +
Everybody could be: '''a''' The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal; '''b''' The physical part of a person; '''c''' A human; a person; '''d''' A group of individuals regarded as an entity (see [[Alien]]); a corporation (see [[Government]]); '''e''' A mass of matter that is distinct from other masses: a body of water; a celestial body; the body of evidence; a sauce with body; a saucy body. However, it is scientifically impossible for Everybody to be the same thing.
* Everybody loves a slinky.
 
  +
* Everybody must get stoned.
 
  +
==Legend==
* Everybody is going to dance tonight.
 
  +
[[Image:Asgardsreien.jpg|right|thumb|350px|The Great Battle of Everybody, as in the Legend.]]
* Everybody is on the FBI's most wanted list.
 
  +
* Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
 
  +
As the legend goes, in the beginning there was nothing at all, and then God made everything and ''Everybody''. God required the assistance of ''Somebody'' within ''Everybody'', to help with the ongoing maintenance of everything. So a rib was cast out of ''Everybody'' to create the [[Trinity]]; '''Anybody'''; '''Somebody'''; '''Nobody'''.
* Everybody wants to rule the world.
 
  +
* Everybody is a genius and an idiot.
 
  +
Many centuries later, it transpired ''Anybody'' could have assisted in God's great work, but ''Nobody'' bothered. It was said ''Everybody'' was distressed at this and so the battle of ''Somebody'' and ''Nobody'' ensued. Little did ''Nobody'' know ''Everybody'' did it, because ''Nobody'' believed he was ''Everybody''. Before ''Somebody'' and ''Anybody'' became ''Everybody'', they were doomed by the fact, although ''Everybody'' blamed ''Somebody'' because ''Nobody'' did the job, ''Nobody'' really asked ''Anybody'' to do it. And now ''Everybody'', plagued by ''Anybody'' with ''Somebody'', had no choice but to carry this burden into all eternity, as God's wrath was smitted upon all nations. ''Everybody'' lost, and ''Nobody'' won.
* Everybody is the equivalent of Chuck Norris.
 
  +
* Everybody needs [[somebody]] sometimes.
 
  +
==Brain Washing==
* Saving the Earth is everybody's job.
 
  +
[http://www.songsforteaching.com/sharonloisbram/s/everybodyhappy.mp3 Please click to hear 'Everybody Brain Washing' sound file from the archives of Brain Washing and other Torture]
* When in clubs, everybody is frequently urged to engage in such behavior as clapping their hands and saying "yeah!".
 
  +
* Everybody wants to eat your bawls.
 
  +
In 1966, Everybody was seen along with gang members Trinity (Anybody, Somebody and the notorious Nobody) who got together and made a recording of a seriously serious chant, which then converted using the rodin coil was implanted into the brain of Everybody, in order for Everybody to have no control over what they did. Instead, they are in a perpetual cycle of repeating the same three actions (we have decoded the Brain Washing chant below)
* Everybody hurts and cries, sometimes.
 
  +
* Everybody is a kid at heart.
 
  +
"''Today is Saturday, Today is Saturday
* Everybody's after me...
 
  +
* Everybody's after [[you]]
 
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Saturday is shoppin’!
* If its possible everybody can do it.
 
  +
* Everybody is [[somewhere]].
 
  +
''Friday Pay Day''!
* Everybody knows that everybody dies, and the Doctor more than most.
 
  +
* Everybody is Nelly Furtado at weekends.
 
  +
Thursday [[soup]]
* Everybody does it.
 
  +
* Yet everybody doesn't.
 
  +
''Wednesday the gardenin''’
* Everybody does your Mom at sometime.
 
  +
* Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey.
 
  +
Tuesday the ironin’
* Everybody may or may not have two [[legs]].
 
  +
* Everybody is pitied by [[Mr T]].
 
  +
''Monday the washin''’
* Everybody is laughing at you behind your back.
 
  +
Everybody happy?''"
* Everybody must rock their body, because Backstreet's back. Alright.
 
  +
* Just because everybody is doing it, doesn't mean you should too.
 
  +
'Happiness' is often coupled with 'Everybody', believed to be some form of mind altering state where individuals take on a personality which seems to radiate joy from carrying out tasks which can only be described as [[slavery]]. '''Help IS available''',
* Just kidding. Everybody's doing it, so you should too!
 
  +
[http://www.talkingwav.com/answermachine/ans_42.wav Please click here and leave a message.]
* Everybody is doing the [[fish]]. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
 
  +
* Everybody sings the blues, sometimes.
 
  +
==Further Reading==
* Everybody consists mainly of [[water]].
 
  +
[[Image:EverybodyPoops.jpg|right|thumb|120px|The Great book of Everybody Poops, an illustrated reference guide to further information about Everybody.]]
* If everybody can't do it, [[no one]] can.
 
  +
[[Image:everybody-hates-you.jpg|left|thumb|120px|Love or Hate, Everybody does it.]]
* Everybody is over 9001.
 
  +
* Everybody speaks a language.
 
  +
A lot of information is available to Everybody, about Everybody, but more often than not most return to quite possibly the best reference available on the internet today, ''Everybody Poops'' (see right). The scientists and researchers of this article poured extensively over this Great Work, and we have conclusively concluded there are many conspiracies in the world as we know it (2.8 million about Everybody alone) so when one can find evidence to help untangle the tangles, one should poop, as so many, (and in fact Everybody), does. There is no shame in it what-so-ever.
* Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting.
 
  +
* Everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed in school.
 
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Contrary to this, Malcome the dog next door, (famous for collecting cans of beans and other things) thinks Everybody should Love Everybody - and yet there are underground movements reported to be going on about how Everybody Hates Everybody else, and it's the only way forward for equal rights amongst individuals who refuse to pay taxes. The message of love and understanding is often lost. If only Everybody had a friend who was all ears.
* Everybody knows that the bird is the word.
 
  +
* Everybody could use a new set of kitchen knives from that infomercial.
 
  +
==The Word of God For Everybody==
* Steve Ballmer has vowed to Fucking Kill™ him.
 
  +
[[Image:ignore-everybody-0905jpeg.jpg|right|thumb|200px|If Everybody followed these three simple rules, we'd be fine.]]
* Everybody likes [[sex]].
 
  +
* Everybody should read [[Nietzsche]].
 
  +
In [[1999]] AD, Someone really important (many think the Divine Intervention himself) found a Mac and created this little graphic, using a variety of fonts all which were used no doubt to give the document a 'naturally hand-written' creation. Although, to standards Everybody is accustomed to nowadays, this article seems almost primitive, in principle, the message is the same. In [[2000]], the year Everybody thought would be the end of everything, a new release was released and it is believed this is the one still in circulation to today, (the one illustrated here isn't the one) but really, Everybody = all things and nothing, one should just maybe read about it then on the whole, ignore Everybody.
* Everybody's got a [[brain]], except [[George Dubya Bush|the president]].
 
* Everybody poops (allegedly).
 
* Everybody masturbates (religiously).
 
* Everybody is Nyxa's father.
 
* Everybody is a level 70 Shaman.
 
* Everybody summons pianos to do his dirty work.
 
* Everybody is really a female male impersonator that also happens to work for the goverment.
 
* Everybody is not related to you in anyway.
 
* Everybody [[kitten huffing|huffs kittens]].
 
* Everybody is both male and female, thus making him a hermaphrodite.
 
* Everybody's everywhere.
 
* Everybody's never gunna give you up.
 
* Everybody's nobody till somebody kills him.
 
* Everybody's gonna have a good time tonight just shaking the soles of his feet.
 
* Everyone's a little bit racist.
 
* Everybody loves the Pennsylvania Polka!
 
* Everybody is wrong.
 
* [[Nobody Cares|Everybody doesn't care]].
 
* Everybody happy!
 
* Everybody gay!
 
* Evweybody woves [[Homestar Runner]]
 
* Everybody who just read all the above facts has no life.
 
* Everybody was born [[yesterday]]
 
* Everybody knows the [[cake]] is a lie
 
   
 
==See Also==
 
==See Also==
 
* [[Elsewhere]]
 
* [[Elsewhere]]
* [[Elf]]
 
 
* [[Everyone]]
 
* [[Everyone]]
 
* [[Penguins]]
 
* [[Penguins]]
 
* [[Someone]]
 
* [[Someone]]
 
* [[Nobody]]
 
* [[Nobody]]
* [[Dolphin]]
 
 
* [[Everyone]]
 
* [[Everyone]]
* [[Acorns]]
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* [[Everyone is Hitler]]
* [[?]]
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[[nl:Iedereen]]
* [[^__^]]
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[[zh:所有人]]
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[[zh-tw:所有人]]
 
   
 
[[Category:People]]
 
[[Category:People]]
 
[[Category:Language]]
 
[[Category:Language]]
[[Category:Things George Bush doesn't care about]]
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[[Category:Things that God hates according to Fred Phelps]]
[[Category:People who have had sex with Mrs. Cartman]]
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[[Category:People of Irish descent]]
 
[[zh:所有人]]
 
[[zh-tw:所有人]]
 

Latest revision as of 08:38, 2 October 2012

Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext.png
For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about: User:Cajek/randomfeatured


If we could see everybody, it would probably look like this.

“This includes me, even you at the back.”

~ Everybody on Everybody

“Its more than one person.”

~ Captain Understatement on Everybody

“I'm not.”

~ Hugh Hefner on above quote

“Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.”

~ Divine Intervention on What is it Everybody Knows But I Don't

“They're all bastards.”

~ Me on Everybody

“Everybody, la-dee-do-dee-do.”

~ Homestar Runner on Everybody


Introduction to Everybody[edit]

Are you YOU or are you Everybody?

Everybody thinks they have the right idea, but most don't realize they are living in a post-modern world where nothing new can happen. It's the age old question: What does everybody know that I don't? In this short introduction, we shall explore the many meanings of 'Everybody' and provide if we can examples of use and misuse of the word. First, a short history.

A Short History[edit]

Historically, the first known use of the word 'Everybody' was when there was at least 5 humans walking the earth. Many people say it was after Adams kids had incest with their mother. This means that by everbody, it means only if you have molested your Mum/Kids. Everybody became most people when political correctness came into power, then nobody when Facism and Communism became relevant. This can be found in page 667 of the bible, as 666 was filled with how to worship the Devil. But everyone on the internet is an atheist, a stoner, a follower of Raptor Jesus, or an annoying overly Christian child under the age of fifteen while they are on the internet regardless of how they are when they are off. This lead to the era of “Not giving a fuck” witch did not disprove this theory, but made it uninteresting and utterly useless to modern day people.

He is the arch nemesis of Nobody.

Where is Everybody?[edit]

Arguably one of the most famous conundrums to ever hit the world of Everybody: the disappearance of the entire population of Neverland (the World, for you slow ones). Many scientists have dated this phenomenon back to the era of the Cavemen, for studies have shown that the rate of ditching fellow cavemen had increased ten-fold in that era. There would, however, always be one "confused individual" left behind to wonder: "Where is Everybody?".

Definition[edit]

Pronunciation E'er•bod•y: (ev'rē-bod"ē, -bud"ē)

'Everybody' isn't the easiest word to pronounce so we have included a sample of the word being used in context to help you listen and repeat. Early tests have shown 9 out of 10 members of the population managed to pronounce 'Everybody' dead, possibly during a CIA investigation (episode 45.8:154).

Please click hear for a sample of the word 'Everybody' as sung in the Everybody National Anthem

Everybody could be: a The entire material or physical structure of an organism, especially of a human or animal; b The physical part of a person; c A human; a person; d A group of individuals regarded as an entity (see Alien); a corporation (see Government); e A mass of matter that is distinct from other masses: a body of water; a celestial body; the body of evidence; a sauce with body; a saucy body. However, it is scientifically impossible for Everybody to be the same thing.

Legend[edit]

The Great Battle of Everybody, as in the Legend.

As the legend goes, in the beginning there was nothing at all, and then God made everything and Everybody. God required the assistance of Somebody within Everybody, to help with the ongoing maintenance of everything. So a rib was cast out of Everybody to create the Trinity; Anybody; Somebody; Nobody.

Many centuries later, it transpired Anybody could have assisted in God's great work, but Nobody bothered. It was said Everybody was distressed at this and so the battle of Somebody and Nobody ensued. Little did Nobody know Everybody did it, because Nobody believed he was Everybody. Before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plagued by Anybody with Somebody, had no choice but to carry this burden into all eternity, as God's wrath was smitted upon all nations. Everybody lost, and Nobody won.

Brain Washing[edit]

Please click to hear 'Everybody Brain Washing' sound file from the archives of Brain Washing and other Torture

In 1966, Everybody was seen along with gang members Trinity (Anybody, Somebody and the notorious Nobody) who got together and made a recording of a seriously serious chant, which then converted using the rodin coil was implanted into the brain of Everybody, in order for Everybody to have no control over what they did. Instead, they are in a perpetual cycle of repeating the same three actions (we have decoded the Brain Washing chant below)

"Today is Saturday, Today is Saturday

Saturday is shoppin’!

Friday Pay Day!

Thursday soup

Wednesday the gardenin

Tuesday the ironin’

Monday the washin’ Everybody happy?"

'Happiness' is often coupled with 'Everybody', believed to be some form of mind altering state where individuals take on a personality which seems to radiate joy from carrying out tasks which can only be described as slavery. Help IS available, Please click here and leave a message.

Further Reading[edit]

The Great book of Everybody Poops, an illustrated reference guide to further information about Everybody.
Love or Hate, Everybody does it.

A lot of information is available to Everybody, about Everybody, but more often than not most return to quite possibly the best reference available on the internet today, Everybody Poops (see right). The scientists and researchers of this article poured extensively over this Great Work, and we have conclusively concluded there are many conspiracies in the world as we know it (2.8 million about Everybody alone) so when one can find evidence to help untangle the tangles, one should poop, as so many, (and in fact Everybody), does. There is no shame in it what-so-ever.

Contrary to this, Malcome the dog next door, (famous for collecting cans of beans and other things) thinks Everybody should Love Everybody - and yet there are underground movements reported to be going on about how Everybody Hates Everybody else, and it's the only way forward for equal rights amongst individuals who refuse to pay taxes. The message of love and understanding is often lost. If only Everybody had a friend who was all ears.

The Word of God For Everybody[edit]

If Everybody followed these three simple rules, we'd be fine.

In 1999 AD, Someone really important (many think the Divine Intervention himself) found a Mac and created this little graphic, using a variety of fonts all which were used no doubt to give the document a 'naturally hand-written' creation. Although, to standards Everybody is accustomed to nowadays, this article seems almost primitive, in principle, the message is the same. In 2000, the year Everybody thought would be the end of everything, a new release was released and it is believed this is the one still in circulation to today, (the one illustrated here isn't the one) but really, Everybody = all things and nothing, one should just maybe read about it then on the whole, ignore Everybody.

See Also[edit]