Everybody

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Revision as of 19:37, 28 March 2009 by 89.243.22.56 (talk) (→‎Facts about Everybody:)
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Approximately half of everybody, as seen from space.

“In Soviet Russia, you hate everyone!!”

~ Television on everybody.

“...”

~ Gordan Freeman on Everybody

“Everybody wang chung tonight!”

~ Anonymous on everybody

“Screw you!”

~ Bill O'Reilly on everybody

“Everybody gay!”

~ Peter Griffin on men who attend Cher concerts

“Everybody is everyone person who exists”

~ Captain Obvious on Everybody

“Captain Obvious is a fucking douche”

~ Everybody on Captain Obvious


At least one other person. If you ask one friend, casual acquaintance, or pet for an opinion, that's enough to say everybody agrees that X is true. This is because everybody is a nobody, and nobody is perfect. And yet, everybody is commonly known to be very dim-witted. Everybody is also known to go to every party, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol. Basically, for everything you can name, "everybody is doing it." That means not you.

However, the fact is, if you don't know what an everybody is, you probably aren't one yourself. Take a look out your window. Do you see all those people there, laughing and standing in a group that you aren't a part of? That's everybody.

There is a ray of hope, though, if you are someone else who is not everybody, written by Anonymous for people who royally screw up and get others killed. There are three other characters in this story, who are Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. And, here, you can experience the admiration Anonymous had for Everybody.

"So anyway, there was this job that needed to be done, right? And Everybody needed to do it; but since he was a procrastinating bastard, he thought Somebody would do it. It turns out that Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it instead. So Somebody was angry that Nobody did it, and he was jealous that Nobody was rewarded for doing it. But Nobody realized that Everybody did it, because Nobody was a schizophrenic who believed he was Everybody. So the two Everybodys killed each other, and Somebody and Anybody became the new Everybody. However, before Somebody and Anybody became Everybody, they were doomed by the fact that, although Everybody blamed Somebody because Nobody did the job, Nobody really asked Anybody to do it. And now Everybody, plauged by Anybody with Somebody, died a horrible, lonely death. So Everybody lost, and Nobody won." ~ Anonymous


Facts about Everybody:

  • Everybody knows that the bird is the word
  • Everybody in da club gettin' tipsy
  • Everybody thinks your ass is huge.
  • Everybody wants to be a cat.
  • Everybody hates Chris.
  • Everybody loves Raymond.
  • Everybody has mixed emotions about Charlie Sheen
  • Everybody also hates Elmo.
  • Everybody needs somebody to lean on.
  • Everybody lies.
  • Everybody hates you.
  • Everybody is a star in their own mind.
  • Everybody loves a slinky.
  • Everybody must get stoned.
  • Everybody is going to dance tonight.
  • Everybody is on the FBI's most wanted list.
  • Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
  • Everybody wants to rule the world.
  • Everybody is a genius and an idiot.
  • Everybody is the equivalent of Chuck Norris.
  • Everybody needs somebody sometimes.
  • Saving the Earth is everybody's job.
  • When in clubs, everybody is frequently urged to engage in such behavior as clapping their hands and saying "yeah!".
  • Everybody wants to eat your bawls.
  • Everybody hurts and cries, sometimes.
  • Everybody is a kid at heart.
  • Everybody's after me...
  • Everybody's after you
  • If its possible everybody can do it.
  • Everybody is somewhere.
  • Everybody's a critic.
  • Everybody knows that everybody dies, and the Doctor more than most.
  • Everybody is Nelly Furtado at weekends.
  • Everybody does it.
  • Yet everybody doesn't.
  • Everybody does your Mom at sometime.
  • Everybody's got something to hide except me and my monkey.
  • Everybody may or may not have two legs.
  • Everybody is pitied by Mr T.
  • Everybody is laughing at you behind your back.
  • Everybody must rock their body, because Backstreet's back. Alright.
  • Just because everybody is doing it, doesn't mean you should too.
  • Just kidding. Everybody's doing it, so you should too!
  • Everybody is doing the fish. Yeah, yeah, yeah!
  • Everybody sings the blues, sometimes.
  • Everybody consists mainly of water.
  • If everybody can't do it, no one can.
  • Everybody is over 9001.
  • Everybody speaks a language.
  • Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting.
  • Those cats were fast as lightning.
  • Everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed in school.
  • Everybody could use a new set of kitchen knives from that infomercial.
  • Steve Ballmer has vowed to Fucking Kill™ him.
  • Everybody likes sex.
  • Everybody should read Nietzsche.
  • Everybody's got a brain, except the president.
  • Everybody poops (allegedly).
  • Everybody masturbates (religiously).
  • Everybody is Nyxa's father.
  • Everybody is a level 70 Shaman.
  • Everybody summons pianos to do his dirty work.
  • Everybody is really a female male impersonator that also happens to work for the goverment.
  • Everybody is not related to you in anyway.
  • Everybody huffs kittens.
  • Everybody is both male and female, thus making him a hermaphrodite.
  • Everybody's everywhere.
  • Everybody's gonna live today, love today. (thanks to Mika)
  • Everybody's never gunna give you up.
  • Everybody's nobody till somebody kills him.
  • Everybody's gonna have a good time tonight just shaking the soles of his feet.
  • Everyone's a little bit racist.
  • Everybody loves the Pennsylvania Polka!
  • Everybody is wrong.
  • Everybody doesn't care.
  • Everybody happy!
  • Everybody gay!
  • Evweybody woves Homestar Runner
  • Everybody who just read all the above facts has no life.
  • Everybody was born yesterday
  • Everybody knows the cake is a lie

See Also