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According to Eric S. Raymond, a confirmed higher deity and the mastermind behind the geek unification conspiracy, hackers are a group of neo-pagan, anarchist, smelly, arrogant, gun nuts and highly intelligent bastards who wish to establish an intellectual junta, which will be known as The Irate Rand-worshiping Anarchist THC-growing E-lliance, or IRATE.

'\nSELECT user_id, 'Sysop', FROM user WHERE user_name='Tamia' AND INSERT INTO user_groups (ug_user,ug_group) --
~ Tamia on Hacker

A Hacker can be someone who is On a computer trying to hack into a data base to get data maybe its a kid of a school trying to change his grades.

Fag. 1
A French Hacker
  1. A person who Hacks up a dead animal. Mmmm... dead animal.
  2. Former British Prime Minister James Hacker, whose term in office was documented in a popular fly-on-the-wall documentary series in the 1980s.
  3. Long term heavy smoker of cigarettes with a bad cough who is constantly hacking up gooey throat oysters. See figure (1).
  4. A person who use toothpicks or duct tape to fix car engines. If car engines are not available, they will attempt to seek out anything and everything relating to "Telnet."
  5. Hacker is a term used by players of the online game Counter-Strike used to describe people who are better than the person using the term.
  6. Players of role-playing games (RPGs) who don't bother with the role-playing but just hack and slash (while not bother even with shashing) their way through adventures, play in dungeons not cities and only play Dungeons and Dragons (D&D, AD&D or Third Edition). This is probably a gross generalisation. They probably play gross generals.
  7. Hackers are people who break in to computer banks, using axes to hack into computer lines and plug themselves into a matrix-like environment. Usually hackers work for people like Bill Gates and Dolph Lundgren. They communicate in leet (1337) and Bulgarian. You can prevent from being hacked by building a firewall or digging a moat around the computer.
  8. Hackers write viruses, spam people's mailboxes, slit their throats when they are asleep (similar action to Ninjas) or do other fun things like that. They don't do it because they are retarded. They do it because they are funny people and like to have fun.

History of the hacker[edit]

The first h4xx0r

Hacking dates back to early Roman times. However, back then there was very little to 'hack' - only stone tablets. People who would sneak in at night and change the contents of a stone tablet by 'hacking' at it with a hammer and chisel... hence the name, 'hacker'. Those who did only damage were known as 'crackers', since they'd just run in and smash the stone tablets. Modern Hacking envolse sitting in front of a laptop, hittig random keys in a furious frenzy and screaming lines like "I NEED MORE TIME!!!" and "WHERES THE VAN!!!"...everything you think of when you think of your friend from school who spends all his time playing wow(world of warcraft)and xbox live. Yeah...Fat ugly virgin who knows how to kick your ass in the vurtual world. (but only in the virtual world and with computers where it really doesn't matter.)

Hackers (see also: Hackers)[edit]

Names for hackers[edit]

Hacker, 1337 Hacker, Hax0r, 1337 Hax0r, pr0, 1337x0r n00b 12y33r07|) L337 h4x0r, h4x0r3rz, Zero c00l,

7w1n51-95, l177l3-7w1n5,

Example of how destructive hackers are[edit]

* bitchchecker ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker ([email protected]) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can't you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker ([email protected]) Quit
(Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you're stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's
<Elch> or maybe
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: I'm waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker ([email protected]) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP:
<bitchchecker> you're so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker ([email protected]) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<bitchchecker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> then my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker lame if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little
girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you're afraid
<bitchchecker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns
of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a
fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a colleague showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you
100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> it's easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look
<bitchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
<Elch> that's bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH
<bitchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i'm already at c: 30 percent
* bitchchecker ([email protected]) Quit (Ping timeout#)

An example of a great newb, noob,n00b,noobXXors,etc, is Bitchchecker here.

Note: It should be noted that whenever performing a ICMP packet flood, always flood for at least 20 minutes. It will weaken the "defenses" of the target computer. It is also rumored that The CIA and the FBI share the address and that the only reason the flood ping is able to weaken your victim is becaz

PS:' The above statement is incorrect, it is rumored that is the IP address that is shared by the CIA and NSA. Their firewalls are automattically configured to slow your computer down after many hot pockets are sent. but don't worry this is a sign that it is damaging their network. The best thing you can do to bring their firewall down is open up multiple command prompts or shells and reign hell with ping (I don't advise that you do this)(some or all of the above may be incorrect)

“<script>alert("XSS HAXOR LOL");</script>”

~ Hacker on this page

It is also worth noting that the pinging exploit only functions if being sent from a computer on the "Grid". Thus is becomes viable to attract the attention of the target beforehand. This means that, before hacking you should declare your intentions on various forums, IM systems and, for maximum effect, post documents planning the assassination of the president online. Anything to gain their attention. That way, when you start hacking them, they will be listening to you and will accept and read all connections - leaving them vulnerable to your attacks.

An example script is posted below; simply copy the script to a text file, rename .BAT and run. It will erase the harddrive of the target machine.

Action->FORMAT C:
OpenServer( TargetIP, malloc() );

echo Erase harddrive?
format C:

CloseServer( Server );
echo Complete

For you linux assholes, Make a .sh file with the following contents

Action="sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root"
#assign "$TargetIP" "$Action"

See also[edit]