Mac OS 10.5

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Mac OS 10.5.
The Latest Mac OS, 10.5 Leper Pretty, but useless like your wife
Mac OS 10.5, The Final Frontier!


“Introducing, MAC OS X LEPER! Now shipping with shiny new macs...yes they're shiny.”

~ Steve Jobs on Mac OS X 10.5

Mac OS 10.5 (or Leper as it has been named) is Apples latest installment of the Mac OS X (X stands of Xylophone lovers!) operating system made for its brand of Macintosh computers. It was released nearly 4 years after the release of the 10.4 version of Mac OS X due to delays caused by the development of the iPhone. Mac OS 10.5 features as many as 300 new "Improvements" such as

  • Not being able to change the color of the apple logo in the upper left hand corner
  • Frequent freezing even on a 2.4 GHz new iMac with 2GB of RAM
  • Takes up 3 times as much disk space than OS 10.4
  • Reflective dock that must take up a Hell of a lot of processing power and RAM
  • A transparent Menu Bar. Completely useless and you can't read shit when using some of the Apple supplied wallpapers
  • System Requirements that leave up to 40 older macs (that ran OS 10.4) behind in the dust
  • Very small icons on the left side bar in the finder window making it harder to select directories
  • The elimination of the search tool Sherlock
  • Other new features that require some one with an enormous disposable income to afford and take advantage of.
  • A poor spinoff of Recycle Bin called Time Machine


Sidenav spaces 20071016.png

Spaces, Apples answer to clutter! A nice, but not so innovative or useful addition to Mac OS 10.5. One can create up to 16 small little boxes to take up the screen of your computer and each box can hold anything you want like, that movie your making in iLife (Or trying to make), the games your playing (On a Mac? Dream on Buddy), the Porn your looking at(Err.. Um, eh, WELL WHO DOSN'T LOOK AT PORN!?!) or Photoshop (Well who doesn't edit porn!?!) With Spaces you can do anything (If you replace the word anything with nothing) and it's an innovation that has never been thought of before (If you replace never with probably) its almost the same thing as pressing F9 on OS 10.4, but its better, because its Apple. Here are some things you can do with spaces!

  • Put your Safari window in the upper left hand box
  • Put your Safari window in the upper right hand box
  • Put your Safari window in the lower left hand box
  • Put you Safari window in the lower right hand box

-And Much Much more...

Time Machine

A Giant Leap Backwards indeed

“A Giant Leap Backward!”

~ Apple's Site on Time Machine

Time Machine is Mac OS Xs Automatic back up software which enables a person to see all previous versions of a file. Before 10.5 if a person needed to back up a file, it would take a few seconds of their time, but now Time Machine automatically backs up a computers data to an external hard drive at user defined intervals. The User Interface of Time Machine is amazing, the unnecessary graphics take up enormous amounts of CPU capacity and RAM, all the while only making the user feel small and insignificant as compared to the of the swirling galaxies in our universe represented in the background. Time Machine requires an expensive external hard drive for back up purposes. If a user wants to take advantage of time machine, they must have their computer hooked up to an external hard drive, which may be acceptable if their on a desktop, but on a laptop that is constantly mobile, the practicality of time machine diminishes somewhat.
(Apple would now like you to buy the new improved iMac, Buy, buy, BUY)

The New Finder and Cover Flow

A finder is much better than a window

The new Finder features a completely revised look, much like that of the new iLife. Apple developers have replaced the old brushed metal look with a much simpler gradient background that looks as if it took 90 seconds to make in Photoshop. The new finder features yet another new feature, cover flow, another interesting, but not so necessary feature in the new OS. Cover flow allows users to look through files virtually like in iTunes, and is yet another new feature designed to make it easier for your grandmother to use the computer but in actuality will just make her even more confused than she already is. In addition to making your grandmother confused with cover flow, the icons on the sidebar in the new finder window are so small they are just barely visible, such that your grandmother wont be-able to see them now even with her glasses on, causing her to call you every 5 seconds so that you will click on it for her causing you much pain and frustration.

The New iChat and Mail

Look at how special I am, it looks like I'm in Paris, but it's just an effect, I'm really just in my moms basement.

The New iChat is and Mail have been greatly improved for OS 10.5. The New mail has included a new feature called smart folders that automatically sorts email based on certain parameters, such as dates received or sent, from certain people and other things as well; a feature that web based email has had for years that is now available to you with Leper.

iChat, the application that allows you to communicate the same information to someone as you probably could with a phone or email but with almost infinite times the bandwidth usage and the need to actually wear cloths when you communicate with them has been improved by Apple to now take up 500 kb/s of bandwidth (or more) of your internet connection. The new iChat greatly improves upon the old iChat, now not only can you talk to other people through a video screen, you can now control their computer with it to (Big brother is watching you). In addition, you no longer have to look like your normal self since Apple has introduced video effects that can contort your image, or add a video effect or even a false background. The false background is very important for those types that want to go to the beach, pretend they're at work in the office but have to video conference with other mac owners in the business world. However the video effects will most likely be used for male mac users to impress mac owning females (or other men) on the other end by letting them know how cool the video effect i that they're using, and by extension how cool they are for owning a mac, when instead they should just go next door and talk to them personally.