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Samoa: General

Samoa is a territory located in the southwestern Svalbard region of Finland. It was founded in the year 6142 before the common era by King Hubbard IV. When Hubbard died the kingdom was passed on to his son, Salazar Slytherin, who ruled the kingdom until the year 1999 of the common era. Since then, the kingdom of Samoa has been ruled by Ray Romano.


Samoa is very mountainous. That is, it is home to many butterflies. The Rhine River flows through Samoa's capital city, Sacramento. The Rhine River and the Danube converge to form the Monongahela. When the Monogahela floods, it provides nourishment for Samoa and its surrounding countries (exempli gratia, Sweden, Russia and Cuba). Seriously, dude. The Monongahela River -- what'd we do without it?


Samoa uses the shekel. 400 pesos make up a shekel. There are 76 bags of wheat to a peso. On the "tails" side of the 1 shekel piece is the head of Derek Jeter. However, on the other side of the 1 shekel piece is the tail of a pig. Ergo, many people have trouble determining which side is "heads" and which is "tails" when flipping a shekel.

Key Facts

Residents of Samoa are known as "Shaysites," named after the rebellious farmer Daniel Shays who led a revolution against the Bostonian governor Atahualpa. Samoa is 99% Wiccan, .5% Buddhist, .4% Protestant, and .1% homosexual. Samoa's main exports are wool, linen, (but not wool and linen together, as this would conflict with the Jewish law of Sha'atnez), straw, dictionaries, waterguns, and edible porcelain.