From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Revision as of 02:33, 11 September 2012 by PuppyOnTheRadio (talk | contribs) (16 revisions)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Idiocrates was an early supporter of the Sophistry movement.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Sophistry.
This article details Sophistry, perhaps you were looking for Sophia?

Sophistry is a popular movement within modern day philosophy whose roots go back to the time of the Ancient Greeks. A number of philosophers including Plato, Socrates and Hypocrites are all known to have worked on arguments detailing Sophistry.

Defining Sophistry[edit]

Sophistry, in its modern definiton, is considered by many to be an illogical or confusing argument intended to deceive someone into believing a fallacious, ludicrous idea. This is a false definition that is not based on the historical definition. In fact, in the time of Greek philosophers, sophistry was related to the word sophós, meaning "wiseman". The modern definition of sophistry cannot logically exist, because:

  1. It is not the arguer's fault if a gullible person does not recognize the lack of logic or inherent confusion in the argument. Furthermore, the argument, however illogical or confusing, makes sense to the arguer. Therefore, there is no such thing as an illogical or confusing argument.
  2. If illogical or confusing arguments do not exist, then they cannot be used for deception. Therefore, deception through use of illogical or confusing arguments cannot exist.
  3. Therefore, as the Greek philosophers concluded, sophistry, illogical and confusing arguments, and "wisemen" do not exist.

The Logical Conclusions of Sophistry[edit]

Sophistry leads us to ask "Is this a nice bust, or what?"

From this definition of sophistry, we have concluded three things:

  1. Sophistry, by its modern definition, cannot exist.
  2. Illogical and confusing arguments do not exist.
  3. Wisemen do not exist

From these logically proven ideas, we can prove numerous revolutionary conclusions. Here follows a very partial list:

Sophistry does not exist. Lawyers, politicians, salesmen, clowns, and Mormon missionaries are known to engage in sophistry. Because sophistry does not exist, the primary engagement and total speech of these groups cannot exist. As a result, we can conclude that lawyers, politicians, salesmen, clowns, and Mormon missionaries do not speak at all, or at at least very seldom. Because sophistry does not exist, and an occupation cannot exist if it engages totally in non-existent functions (because the occupation originates from its function by definition), sophists cannot exist. Therefore, because lawyers, politicians, salesmen, clowns, and Mormon missionaries are known to be sophists, they not only cannot speak, they cannot exist at all. Everyone else engages in sophistry now and then, making them sophists. Therefore, no one can exist.

Illogical and confusing arguments do not exist. All false theories are based on misleading information (confusion in information) and a lack of logic. Since neither of these exist, there is no such thing as a false theory. Therefore, all theories are true. However, this proves the logical theory of contradiction (the theory that two contradicting theories cannot both be true) false. However, since false arguments cannot exist, this theory (and all theories that have a directly contradictory) does not exist. Therefore all theories, perceptions, and logic does not exist.

The proven idea that wisemen do not exist is not at all revolutionary. It just proves that wisemen could not have been present at the birth of Baby Jesus. The idea that wisemen were present at the Nativity is a conspiracy made by nativity-scene creators to earn more money, but that is for another topic.

The Final Conclusion of Sophistry[edit]

If theories and perceptions cannot exist, and if everyone cannot exist, then reality as a whole cannot exist. In short, we are brought back to the original, historical ideas of the philosophy of sophistry as described by the Ancient Greek philosopers:

  1. Nothing exists
  2. If anything exists, we cannot know it.
  3. If we can know it, it cannot be communicated to us.

Therefore, you, me, sophistry, this article, Greek Philosophers, wisemen, your computer, and the cute fluffy kitten with amber eyes and a loud purr that lives six doors down from your home DOES NOT EXIST. Therefore, stop living under the illusion that anything exists, because existence and illusions don't exist, either.

See Also[edit]