The next Pope will be decided by a series of wrestling matches. The winners of the semi-finals will compete in the finals and then the two winners of the finals will go on to compete for the right to be Pope of the Ring 2005.
Of course it is not the Pope of the Catholic Church, that Pope will be decided by a board of Cardinals soon enough. This Pope, will be the Pope of the UCW (Universal Church of Wrestling), which was founded by followers of Jacob who wrestled with God.
Their motto is "Gonna take the Devil in a head-lock and stick his head in the great big soda pop machine in the sky!"