Whitney Houston

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“Houston, you have a problem”

“Kiss my ass”

~ Whitney Houston on Tom Hanks
Doesn't Whitney Houston look just...healthy? In a sort of manly way?

Whitney Houston. The name is synonymous with love, hate, ar and bee music, pop, fat, beef jerky, soul, black, proud, and most recently, crack.

The Woman[edit]

Whitney undergoes preparations for the upcoming Grammy Awards

Born 13.250,0000 years before Bill Clinton and the invention of the Saber Tooth Tiger, Whitney Houston is a popular singer from the 1300's and beyond. As a child, she grew up in the House of The Dead and went to school for 2 hours. Dreaming of being a popstar, Whitney escaped her life in the House of The Dead and pursued life as a singer.

In the year 1970-something (or not), Whitney released a song that gained the attention of seven people from The Bronx and Easter Island. Gaining immense poularity after that, she went on to produce more hit songs including, "I Just Ate Food Very Quickly and Almost Lost Sight of Your Beautiful Eyes" and "Tablecloth-Like Heart".

The Controversy[edit]

SusanWhitney Houston is to make her comeback in "Corpse Bride II: I Will Always Scare You"

After 750,000,000,000,000,000,000 years of fame, Whitney's fame started to fall. She married Bobby Brown, her granfather's wives's daughter's son. Living together happily, they fought and got involved with 270,000 types of drugs. After 7 seconds in light years of marriage, Whitney divorced Bobby. In a recent interview Bobby had this to say about their divorce, "Whitney had hair on her head. She wore clothes and was human. I need more than that!". After the divorce, Whitney continued to invent new malicious drugs for her own personal use. They have been never released to the public, mainly because they had already been released. These drugs were apparently just a combonation of laxative and Swiss Chocolate from the Netherlands, and was proven as completely harmless, unless you are a Whitney Houston.


Whitney Houston died Feburary 11, 2012.she died of a Flintstone Vitiman overdoase at The Paris Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, California.She was dancing her ass off to her 1987 hit " I Wanna Fuck With Somebody"Ray J 1 floor above,pissed by her stomping came down stairs and beat her.Whitney ripped the sink off the wall and beat Ray J unmercefully. Ray J was out cold. Whitney took the tablets, slipped in the tub getting a bloody concousion. Ray J called the poliece and was taken into custody.Huston,sex whore who only did what she did to make money and get her name in lights. she leaves behind Bobby Kristina (daughter) and mother whose the dictator and matriarch. Bobby Brown,frontman,of "Old Addiction" has fucked her life up with drugs after she became a Born- Again Christian. she drifted back into "the world" as the believers say. Brown has no custody rights with his daughter. Later information will be dispelled when notified.