Yellow fever

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This article discusses the viral disease Yellow fever. Nevertheless, it is still good for a quick wank.

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Yellow fever is a disease spreading at an unprecedented rate among non-Asian men in the Western world due to the migration thereto of a rare microscopic Japanese parasite known as the hentaicalius. It is believed the hentaicalius typically reaches foreign shores by hitching on exported Japanese products such as manga, black market Pokemon and Hello Kitty Vibrators. Although yellow fever is an acute viral disease, it can in no way, shape or form be considered kawaii. It is a significant cause of hemorrhagic illness in many African and South American countries despite existence of an effective vaccine, which is periodically waved before the faces of their inhabitants by sadistic white Western doctors, who do so while chanting "nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah".

Even the potentially severe cases of yellow fever often go undiagnosed due to lack of awareness on the part of the sufferer. Please read this article carefully to find out if you too may be afflicted. You will be tested on this.

History

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Yellow fever has been a source of several devastating epidemics. During one of Napoleon's campaigns to Japan in 1802, his troops were attacked by yellow fever on a grand scale. More than half of the army perished due to the disease. In fact, nearly all fatalities suffered by French forces were due to yellow fever, as a temporary strike held by all Japanese ninja (who were demanding more liberal "flipping out" rights) significantly decreased the Frenchmen's likelihood of dying with blood shooting comically from their lily white necks. Afflicted soldiers claimed they had no recollection of when and where they could have caught the disease. One common characteristic they all shared was owning a vast collection of Japanese pornography, which would increase up until the day they met their excruciating deaths.




Symptoms

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Okay, still following?

The first stage of yellow fever reveals itself as no more than an unusually strong interest in Asian women. The typical symptoms that follow are fever, muscle aches, headache, and a swollen, pulsating penis. Other symptoms may include a red tongue, flushed face, and reddening of the eyes. ...Hey, are you reading this or what? La la la la la. Your mom is a snaggletoothed donkey-whore.

Moving on, you can also get diarrhea, hot flashes, claustrophobia, muscular dystrophy, slackjaw, hoogie-boogie.... Dude, you don't even care, do you?

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Cause

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So that is integrated the official dog of water of cities also the flag of cities which is established meat. In creation but, the flag it did not include/understand the water dog which the general conference passes. Next the 10 year for, the buffaloes will bind the official water dog of cities without still, they the place. Replacement, with the new official law in 1939 of water brain, with the buffaloes will exist water the abstract triumph of 2 things in circulation until. 1 water the largest father in the attention to which, years of 1912 which organize the general conference it that establishes which was used. Different was presented at the dog and with the flag of water of a myth, "the water dog of the city of the buffaloes which rolled up," the thing was used with all the official document of the market and with the pipe of thanks.

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We told you there would be a test...

Yellow fever is most effectively treated in its early stages, and may be suffered in varying degrees. To determine your succeptibility to, or possible current contraction of the disease, we urge you to take the following test on your understanding of this article so far.

People of Asian descent may be excused now. You can get back to your game of Starcraft, or violin lessons, or whatever. Oh, and chicks can leave too.

Problem 1

  • What is yellow fever?

a. An acute viral disease

b. Kawaii

c. More of a maize hue than yellow, if we were to nitpick

d. None of the above


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Result: If you answered "b", give yourself 1 point.

Problem 2

  • What is the scientific name for yellow fever?

a. Yellowus feveria

b. Yellowium faverica

c. Yella feeva

d. None of the above.

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Result: If you answered, "a", "b", or "c", give yourself 1 point. We never discussed the scientific name here, you silly goose.

Problem 3

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  • What color is named in the term "yellow fever"?

a. Yellow

b. Green

c. Blue

d. Red with maroon trim








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Result: If you answered "d", give yourself 2 points. If you answered "b" or "c", give yourself a cookie. You're a good boy and mommy loves you.

Problem 4

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  • Imdrt vitomh oyu s gptu yjr notdf p?

a. Ybnaikqq

b. Onyrbn

c. Lppp

d. Xyxyxyxy








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Result: If you actually chose anything give yourself 3 points.

Problem 5

  • How did you feel after reading this article?

a. Normal; just the same as I did before I began reading it

b. Appalled

c. Befuddled

d. Refreshed, but a bit sticky


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Result: If you answered "d", give yourself 3 points. The tissues are on the nightstand.

Scoring

Based on the number of points you received you should be able to accurately assess your own degree of early-stage yellow fever.

  • 8-10 points = Severe case of yellow fever. What are you doing here anyway? Do you know how much azn Pr0n there is out there on the internets?!!
  • 5-7 points = Considerable case of yellow fever. Save up your money. Flights to Thailand aren't getting any cheaper.
  • 2-4 points = Mild case of yellow fever. You enjoy the occasional Chineez chicken choke.
  • 0-1 points = ...What are you, gay?

The end

One more for ya, ya fiend!

:


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