You have two cows/8

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Category Eight: Groups

CIA: You never had two cows. They were never here. Neither were we.
You can loik te be having two cow! In a jean pant.
We have numbed your two cows.
Anime nerds
Kawaii Japanese cows are sooooo much better than American baku baku cows, foolish darkInuyasha93-san!
You don't have two cows, because you can't 'have' anything.
Cable Repair Men
We'll fix your cows sometime between 7:00am to 9:30pm on Wednesday.
Conspiracy Theorists
Your two cows actually never landed on the moon. They also discovered advanced technology by digging up a crashed alien spaceship.
Generation X
You have two cows, so what, you feel disenfranchised.
Generation Y
You have two cows... I have a CowStation 2
Internal Revenue Service
33% of your two cows belong to us.
Ku Klux Klan
You have two cows. One is black. You decide it is lazy and it smells bad, so you kill its nigger ass.
Mother Cow, oh mother cow.
Porn Stars
Sure I've done it with 2 cows before. Scene 2 Act 1: The Bull
Script Kiddies
4ll j00r c0wZ 4r3 83l0n6 t0 u5
Student Cowncil
You vote for two cows, a president and a vice president, based entirely on popularity and the attractiveness of their cowspots. Then you excuse them from class so they can think of peppy new names for the same stuff they do every year. They have no actual influence, so they just gossip about prom night.
System Administrators
You had two cows, but due to a server crash (and lack of proper backup) they are yours no longer.
Islamic Terrorists
These infidel cows, sons of Satan shall be burned at the hands of Allah.
You have two cows, Patrick Bateman has three, never mind baby, cows are for shits and wets.
Zoo Keepers
Obviously, we have two cows... in the petting zoo.
We have your two cows. Unless you leave two million dollars in a brown paper bag we'll start sending them back to you, steak by bloody steak. You have 24 hours.
Baggage Handlers
Your 2 cows got lost in transit. Sorry.
Australian Baggage Handlers
We might know something about the two cows found in your surfboard case, but we want an unlimited amnesty first.
You have two cows. One of them wants to be traded to another team. She demands to be traded to a contending team with a good quarterback, cause your all star quarterback is usually out in left field. Your other cow is holding out for a better contract. She refuses to play until you increase her salary by 900%
Post Modernism
You have two cows. You put them in a field. You milk them.
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!


1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.3. Video Games Volume 2
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism

β€œHey, are those two calves?”

~ Michael Jackson on You have two cows