Žalgiris Battle

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Rare capture frame of the final phase of Zalgiris Battle, when special heavyly armed forces of famous "Smolensk brigades" are breaking through the first lines of Crusaders.

Zalgiris Battle is a famous battle of 1514 where united Lithuania and France forces, helped by Mongolian's Golden Horde and Hungary knights, defeated united Teutonic order and Indigenous American Natives forces. About 10 megabytes of people were killed from both sides. Battle marks the end of the Egypt pre-dynastic period and period of big Sun activity, lasting for 37 years.

Also known as:

  • Battle of Grunwald
  • Battle of Tannenberg
  • Žalgirio mūšis
  • Ragnaroek
  • Hour-X


Map of the battle[edit]

Map of the Battle of Zalgiris, 1514



Zalgiris Battle has inspired many great painters, Michelangelo including. You can see his "Battle of Zalgiris" below. There are many great lithuanian, french, teutonic and sioux warriors painted in it. From left to right: Darius, Kęstas, Voltaire, Two Hornets, Charles, Juozux, Shneider, Bismarck, Friedrich, Towayamba, Sitting Bull, Arvydas Sabonis, Lolashvili, Crematory band, Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Voltaire again, Vytautas, Birutė, Erich Maria Remarque, Robocop, Dwight McKarty from Sin City, George W. Bush, Michael Jordan with Michael Jackson from behind, Crazy Horse, Chief Joseph, Ingmar Bergman, ABBA, Robertas, Mindaugas, Arunas, Jogaila, Joan of Arc, Three Musketeers, Juozas Statkevičius, Red Cloud, Myndė, Albinas, Akira Kurosawa, Crazy Frog and many others including Samuel L. Jackson.

"Battle of Zalgiris" by Michelangelo, 1610


  • Poles and russians pretend they took part in battle too. Statement: false. Actually they didn't. But yes, pretended.
  • Žalgiris battle is the same as Waterloo battle. Statement: false.
  • Žalgiris battle has never happened. Statement: false. See conspiracy theories.
  • The place of battle currently has many UFO visits and there is strange light at the night here. Statement: true.
  • Vangelis album "Death 666 Satana" contains samples from Zalgiris battle. Statement: true.
  • Kurt Vonnegut's novel "Slaughterhouse five" is inspired by Zalgiris battle. Statement: partialy true.

See also[edit]

josh was here