.bomb

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Dots not a dot bomb.
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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about .bomb.
Dots not a dot bomb.

A .bomb, or "dot bomb", is a reverse bomb capable of imploding economies at the local, national and international level. .bombs are as old as civilization itself. There are many different ways to trigger a .bomb, but they all contain one common ingredient - an incredibly stupid idea. old .bombs used to invole just a simple calculation in which showed that idea would fail miserably, now though .bombs are no longer just simple equations but real live damaging weapons. Modern .bombs are transmitted via the internet making your computer a dangerous weapon. These modern .bombs could be described as viruses that infriltrate your computer when a stupid idea hits.

Defenition[edit]

The .bomb is defined, for vectors u and v of dimension n to be u0 * v0 +...+ ui * vi +...+ un * vn where ui and vi are the ith entries of the vectors u and v. This defenintion leads us directly to three facts about .bombs:

If either vector in a .bomb is the zero vector (also known as the looser vector or the asshat vector) then the .bomb will be equal to zero. This explains why stupid people in the right place at the right time can ruin everything.

If the two vectors in a .bomb are orthogonal (perpendicular) to each other the .bomb will also be equal to zero. This implies that even an intelligent pair of people can be completely unproductive if they don't work together. If we go back to the first implication we can see that when someone can be described by the asshat vector that they don't work well with anyone.

If two people can be described by opposite unit vectors (vectors with a length of one, two, three, and so on) this means they act in the exact opposite direction. Suprisingly, however, the .bomb in this case is the magnitude of the first vector times the magnitude of the second vector in the negative direction. This is yet another example of how evil will not only always win, but corrupts everything positive into working for the forces of darkness.

Famous examples[edit]

In 906 BC, the Mayan king Dzibilchaltun triggered a .bomb when he decided to clearcut one thousand square miles of forest to grow gold trees. Once the gold trees were planted and producing gold, they had nowhere left to grow food. Millions starved to death as a result. All that gold did not do them any good.

Another oft-cited .bomb happened in 1929 in the United States. Trying to keep up with times, the United States stock market was computerized. After six months of depressing results, it crashed and stock market technicians were unable restart it for several years. As a result, thousands of companies went out of business, including US Irrigation which subsequently caused what's now known as the Dust Bowl Drought. Echoing the Mayan Gold Tree Incident, millions of people starved to death. Millions more lost everything they had.

In the early 1990's there was a massive .bomb. For reasons still unknown, a number of zero vectors exploded. Naturally these asshats gravitated to the internet, where many of them found self-employment making custom to order crochet drink holders and lawn gnomes. However, following a resurgence in Nazism during the Great Reich of Notnilc Llib the bottom fell out of the market for custom crochet drink holders and lawn gnomes. Many loosers found themselves now pennyless and unemployed. Once the asshats and loosers died off the supply of custom crochet drink holders and lawn gnomes shrunk to met the demand and order was restored.

The .bomb warning signs[edit]

If the following thoughts pass through your head, you are in danger of triggering a .bomb.

You could lose your house, your life, or even destroy mankind(as we know it so not too much of a bad thing). Note that the blast area of a .bomb is directly proportional to your personal wealth and influence x (popularity/sex appeal).

The .bomb squad[edit]

Many highly skilled mathmatitions are empolyed by co-operate companies to do the seemingly imposible and cause the zero vector to increase or decrease to prevent explosion. There are many complex theroms and formule used to do this such as reverse egnomatics. However many newer .bombs have protection such as anti-addition sensors for example. If the .bomb picks up any sort of algebra used that could be described as an addition the .bomb could begin the devises counter. This makes .bomb disposal even harder. Many .bombs nowadays use simultaneous equations and so solving the vectors are made much harder as changing one equation cause another to become active.

See Also[edit]